Sunday, August 20, 2006

KFC as a metaphor for life

I have had a rough day today Commies, Unbalenced nuts, Leftwingers, Rightwingers and Kahanist. I will relax with my bucket of KFC to serve as a metaphor.

Jason Pappas: Lets legalize the herbs and spices it will take out the need for Black Market Fried Chicken.

Nanc: KFC and Golf do not mix

Kahane Loyalist: You will go into the Unkosher closet with your unnatural lifestyle

Mister Beamish: That stuff stinks try Lee's

Ducky: Well if you must consume food that is Bad for you we will place a $20.OO tax on every bucket. The money will go to useless Communist Social Science research to find out about Noam Chimppanzee's theory of Corporate Chicken.

TMW: That stuff is really bad for you

Warren: Hey lets get a bigger bucket next time

Uptown: Look at you pathetic wanting to be black fried chicken eating fool. Whers is the Grape Soda and the Watermelon. Holy smokes its there. Beakerkin is living incognegro because he wants to be black.

MD: Look Beakerkin there is a copy of Profootball weekly. ( Switches buckets to Kosher KFC)

Farmer John: Did Plato say anything about herbs and spices.

Rob Bayn: Save some for American Idol you glutton.

AOW: A Peach Cobler goes well with KFC.

Justin: Now Beakerkin civilization did not begin with Col Sanders. There are plenty of other creatures we can serve fried but lets leave the armadillos in the yard.

Freedom Now: Hey Beaker Lawrence Taylor is snorting your biscuts. He falls for that every time it is the only way to get his hands out of the Bucket.

John Brown: We are nationalizing this bucket of zionist apathied capatailist assault
weapons grade artery cloggings WMD for the revoilution. Beakerkin you can't bite a hand. Damn he drew blood #%$#% Capatalist ^*^*y6798 Mullah Beak ^*&^*(&(.

Saba; That is quail do not tell me that that is chicken just because it looks tastes and apppears to be a Chicken.

167: Zionist Meadia Facist Chicken eating American vermin and you are all too fat. Did I tell you about my 167 IQ. I built a Leggo Concentration Camp with wee Craigee.
You American Joooos are so evil and do not know your place and stop calling me an anti semite.

Greg: MZ should not tell anyone about KFC down with MZ. Down with KFC.

Jeff Barholtz Hey Lard $^&%^% pass some of the $%&%&^ chicken down.

What a day. This is one for the ages.


drummaster2001 said...

too bad its not popeyes

beakerkin said...

I miss Popeyes chicken but I can only dream of such wonders in the frozen North.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...


I wouldn't give Popeye's Chicken to a starving homeless bum even if I was mad at them.

I mean, I'd kick 'em in the face before I'd be cruel and feed them that crap.

Lee's Famous Recipe. You can't go wrong. Seek one out.

Mad Zionist said...

Am I MD?

The Merry Widow said...

Popeyes is the best, but KFC will do if you can't drive 15-20 because you and your daughter are really hungry(KFC is 2 miles away)! Just don't eat eat it everyday! Blackberry cobbler and French Vanilla ice cream go well with it too! Especially HOMEMADE!
Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!

Just not for breakfast, that's what pizzas for!

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...


Nonsense! Popeye's chicken is nasty. It is garlic butter and cayenne pepper sauce globbed into a corn starch and black pepper batter and deep fried onto chicken that's been soaked in salt water.

Ho hum. You might as well call a slice of bologna a ribeye steak.

No culinary prowess whatsoever goes into that futile attempt at making quality fried chicken.

Lee's Famous Recipe, however, is in few places on Earth, and all over Heaven.

The Merry Widow said...

None in our area! We muddle along as best we can, sooo since I have never been exposed to Lee's, I can make no judgements about it! So I will manage with what we have!
So quit waving that stuff at me if you won't share! BTW- I still like Popeyes!


Mad Zionist said...

Beak, your "buddy" just ripped you a new one in his latest post - a soppy dedication of puppy love to Saba and the "Palestinian" people. I hate to say this, but you are getting exactly what you deserved for cozying up to the infante terrible.

Farmer John said...

Plato didn't think much of herbs & spices unless they were of the healing variety (not necessarily tasty). I suspect he'd have thought that cookery was the art (if you could call it that) that liberals practiced, and medicine one that conservatives practiced...


Plato, "Gorgias"

SOCRATES: Will you ask me, what sort of an art is cookery?

POLUS: What sort of an art is cookery?

SOCRATES: Not an art at all, Polus.

POLUS: What then?

SOCRATES: I should say an experience.

POLUS: In what? I wish that you would explain to me.

SOCRATES: An experience in producing a sort of delight and gratification, Polus.

POLUS: Then are cookery and rhetoric the same?

SOCRATES: No, they are only different parts of the same profession.

POLUS: Of what profession?

SOCRATES: I am afraid that the truth may seem discourteous; and I hesitate to answer, lest Gorgias should imagine that I am making fun of his own profession. For whether or no this is that art of rhetoric which Gorgias practises I really cannot tell:--from what he was just now saying, nothing appeared of what he thought of his art, but the rhetoric which I mean is a part of a not very creditable whole.

GORGIAS: A part of what, Socrates? Say what you mean, and never mind me.

SOCRATES: In my opinion then, Gorgias, the whole of which rhetoric is a part is not an art at all, but the habit of a bold and ready wit, which knows how to manage mankind: this habit I sum up under the word 'flattery'; and it appears to me to have many other parts, one of which is cookery, which may seem to be an art, but, as I maintain, is only an experience or routine and not an art:--another part is rhetoric, and the art of attiring and sophistry are two others: thus there are four branches, and four different things answering to them. And Polus may ask, if he likes, for he has not as yet been informed, what part of flattery is rhetoric: he did not see that I had not yet answered him when he proceeded to ask a further question: Whether I do not think rhetoric a fine thing? But I shall not tell him whether rhetoric is a fine thing or not, until I have first answered, 'What is rhetoric?' For that would not be right, Polus; but I shall be happy to answer, if you will ask me, What part of flattery is rhetoric?

So, it's not the herbs & spices that make the chicken good, as most people suppose, but the charm that the cook encants before mixing them in. And of course, those that flatter only seek to induce feelings of pleasure, while a doctor or practicer of medicine usually has to inflict a little pain as well...

Plato, "Charmides"...

Such, Charmides, I said, is the
nature of the charm, which I learned when serving with the army from one of the physicians of the Thracian king Zamolxis, who are said to be so skilful that they can even give immortality. This Thracian told me that in these notions of theirs, which I was just now mentioning, the Greek physicians are quite right as far as they go; but Zamolxis, he added, our king, who is also a god, says further, 'that as you ought not to attempt to cure the eyes without the head, or the head without the body, so neither ought you to attempt to cure the body without the soul; and this,' he said, 'is the reason why the cure of many diseases is unknown to the physicians of Hellas, because they are ignorant of the whole, which ought to be studied also; for the part can never be well unless the whole is well.' For all good and evil, whether in the body or in human nature, originates, as he declared, in the soul, and overflows from thence, as if from the head into the eyes. And therefore if the head and body are to be well, you must begin by curing the soul; that is the first thing. And the cure, my dear youth, has to be effected by the use of certain charms, and these charms are fair words; and by them temperance is implanted in the soul, and where temperance is, there health is speedily imparted, not only to the head, but to the whole body. And he who taught me the cure and the charm at the same time added a special direction: 'Let no one,' he said, 'persuade you to cure the head, until he has first given you his soul to be cured by the charm. For this,' he said, 'is the great error of our day in the treatment of the human body, that physicians separate the soul from the body.' And he added with emphasis, at the same time making me swear to his words, 'Let no one, however rich, or noble, or fair, persuade you to give him the cure, without the charm.' Now I have sworn, and I must keep my oath, and therefore if you will allow me to apply the Thracian charm first to your soul, as the stranger directed, I will afterwards proceed to apply the cure to your head. But if not, I do not know what I am to do with you, my dear Charmides.

Farmer John said...

Plato "Gorgias"...

SOCRATES: And now I will endeavour to explain to you more clearly what I mean: The soul and body being two, have two arts corresponding to them: there is the art of politics attending on the soul; and another art attending on the body, of which I know no single name, but which may be described as having two divisions, one of them gymnastic, and the other medicine. And in politics there is a legislative part, which answers to gymnastic, as justice does to medicine; and the two parts run into one another, justice having to do with the same subject as legislation, and medicine with the same subject as gymnastic, but with a difference. Now, seeing that there are these four arts, two attending on the body and two on the soul for their highest good; flattery knowing, or rather guessing their natures, has distributed herself into four shams or simulations of them; she puts on the likeness of some one or other of them, and pretends to be that which she simulates, and having no regard for men's highest interests, is ever making pleasure the bait of the unwary, and deceiving them into the belief that she is of the highest value to them. Cookery simulates the disguise of medicine, and pretends to know what food is the best for the body; and if the physician and the cook had to enter into a competition in which children were the judges, or men who had no more sense than children, as to which of them best understands the goodness or badness of food, the physician would be starved to death. A flattery I deem this to be and of an ignoble sort, Polus, for to you I am now addressing myself, because it aims at pleasure without any thought of the best. An art I do not call it, but only an experience, because it is unable to explain or to give a reason of the nature of its own applications. And I do not call any irrational thing an art; but if you dispute my words, I am prepared to argue in defence of them.

Cookery, then, I maintain to be a flattery which takes the form of
medicine; and attiring, in like manner, is a flattery which takes the form of gymnastic, and is knavish, false, ignoble, illiberal, working deceitfully by the help of lines, and colours, and enamels, and garments, and making men affect a spurious beauty to the neglect of the true beauty which is given by gymnastic.

Farmer John said...

Of course, a good nanny makes all the difference...(Mary Poppins, "Spoonfull of Sugar")

In every job that must be done
There is an element of fun
You find the fun and snap!
The job's a game

And every task you undertake
Becomes a piece of cake
A lark! A spree! It's very clear to see that

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

A robin feathering his nest
Has very little time to rest
While gathering his bits of twine and twig
Though quite intent in his pursuit
He has a merry tune to toot
He knows a song will move the job along - for

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

The honey bee that fetch the nectar
From the flowers to the comb
Never tire of ever buzzing to and fro
Because they take a little nip
From every flower that they sip
And hence (And hence),
They find (They find)
Their task is not a grind.

Ah-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h ah!

A Spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
The medicine go down-wown
The medicine go down
Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down
In a most delightful way

Mr. Ducky said...

Not an entirely succesful bit, but it got a laugh. Grade: B

Farmer John said...

High praise indeed!

Always On Watch said...

I make a pretty good peach gobbler. My neighbor from Georgia has an even better recipe. :)

Farmer John said...

Mr. President,

Any truth to the rumour that Lee Cummings used to work w/Col. Sanders?

beakerkin said...


Is there any truth to the rumor Polus and Poultry are related. I see hints of a certain Mallard in that post.

AOW I think you mentioned the Peach cobler before. Nanc will still not let me on the Golf course with a bucket of KFC.

Farmer John said...


Farmer John said...

Only most poultry can't fly.

Farmer John said...

The whole world wide, every day,
Fly Hugin and Munin;
I worry lest Hugin should fall in flight,
Yet more I fear for Munin.

Da Weaz said...


Still cuttin' n' pastin'. One day you'll think for yourself.

Time's runnin' out.

Farmer John said...

Talk to the muzzies about their seven daily prayers, then talk to me about thinking for yourself...

Meanwhile, back at the Tower, certain ravens get their wings clipped by the Ravenmaster...

John Brown said...


You've demonstrated time and time again on your blog that you cannot take criticism. Since you're such a cry-baby - so unable to take a fraction of what you feebly try to dish out - maybe you should just wrap up the badass routine. Because with every sob story you tell, you come across like a broken-down lunatic - more like Apartheid Israel whining to the UN for protection from Big Bad Hizbullah.

It has to be humiliating. You won't need to throw so many temper tantrums. You can just be a feckless little twit - posting Nazi apologia and conducting stupid interviews - and nobody will even care!

Doesn't that sound better?

Anonymous said...

John Brown Stain the Baby Killer,

I love it when you take the time to post a bunch of links so we can ignore them!!

Would you please post a few thousand more today??


Oh, and considering where you put your ungloved hands and fingers I wouldn't recommend KFC for you without GLOVES.

Did you and hizbully enjoy the DEAD BABY BARBECUE??? I notice there weren't as many head coffin sale as I expected so you must have done SOMETHING with them!!!



beakerkin said...


Nobody cares what you write. Do us all a favor and go play in your community with Renegade. Do us a favor take Uptown with you as the door hits your backside.

John Brown said...

Oh, MULLAH BEAK the DHS PEDOPHILE: why don't you put a sock in it, cry-baby?

All this is going to run around the blogosphere with SAMBO WARREN the INJUN KILLER crying and whining like a 2-year-olds who've lost their pacifiers.

nanc said...

duh beak - everybody knows it's golf and shrimp cocktail!

Farmer John said...


It sounds like its' been a while since you've been out on the municipal course...

Elmer's Brother said...

Beak speaking of KFC did you hear the Colonel with his wee beady eyes put a chemical in it to make you crave it fortnightly? Dem military types is all alike, trying to get us to goose step over and eat their chicken.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...


Lee Cummings was Col. Sanders' nephew and was Pres. of corporate KFC so it's unfair to say he taught the Colonel. Lee's just has a family recipe that blows the corporate, passionless, mass produced post-Colonel KFC out of the water.

Purple Avenger said...

Only most poultry can't fly

I will testify that I've never seen a breaded chicken breast fly on its own. I've seen a few thrown in anger though, and launched a few myself..

nanc said...

my tip for the day:

never, ever, under ANY circumstances, fry chicken in the nude.

Warren said...

Mad Zionist said...

"Am I MD?"


Beak said:
"Warren: Hey lets get a bigger bucket next time"

I'm busted!

Stain, get a life!
A real one!

You're the only tantrum throwing crybaby I know.

john clown said...

HU hu hu!

Did someone say my name?

Woka Woka

I'm thinking about opening my new blog, but I haven't made my mind up yet.

I got tired of that same ol same ol commie crap and thought I'd try my hand at something serious. I've got a really neat name picked out "Savage Circus".

In the mean time, LET"S DO THE CURLY SHUFFLE!!!

Nuck, nuck, nuck.

(anybody seen my buddy bozo?)

Elmer's Brother said...

JB - speaking of two year old and pacifiers your child care worker called she's tired of you taking a *hit and leaving on the carpet. She says leaving an honest job is not her style so you have to go. She suggested you learn how to wipe and clean your own *ss. She's tired of it.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

my tip for the day:

never, ever, under ANY circumstances, fry chicken in the nude.

But Nanc, the skin's the best part.

nanc said...

not when it's covered with blisters...

nanc said...

happy birthday beamish!

Anonymous said...

Uhhh nanc, I've never seen blistered fried chicken?????

nanc said...

i was talkin' about blistered nanc!

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...


A flirt uses a feather. A pervert uses the whole chicken.

Elmer's Brother said...

mr. beamish - but the whole chicken is so much fun ask ducky