Friday, August 25, 2006

Catching Zzzzzs and a hat tip to Mark Alexander

Over the last few day I had been preparing for a Federal examination. Only 15% of people pass this paerticular test. In order to be hired permanently one must pass this examination. The test is given with almost no advance notice, often less than a week. Even if I pass it is highly improbable I will be hired permanently, but I would remain a viable candidate for three years. If selected I would have to go to GA. for six weeks of training.

Astute observers of this blog may notice some stylistic changes in my writting. I have spent five days studying the classic writing style of Mark Alexander. Any rumors that I have been kidnapped by Communists or Jihadis, and someone else has been writting this blog are false. You will still see beakeristic spelling disasters
that many of you have grown to adore.

Mr Beamish in 08 !!!!!!!!!!!!


nanc said...

i thought something was different and then came the two sentences you made without spelling errors i saw somewhere and honestly, was sure you'd been taken over by the spellcheck police. phew! you'll do well on your exam, because you are one smart cookie.

The Merry Widow said...

We will be praying for you, my friend! As a now confirmed bad speller(still amazes me) I have a lot of sympathy! You are very smart and will most likely do well!


Warren said...

I drag everything through a spelling checker.

You wouldn't be able to understand me if I didn't.

beakerkin said...

The test was given on a computer with spell check. However, I spent most of my time on sentence structure,grammar and puctuation.
My sentence structure needed fine tuning. Contary to popular opinion,
my grammar is not as bad as my critics claim. One of my critics regularly produces 173 word sentences wit 23 commas, eight or nine; :::::: and sentences starting with the word because.

The school shooting in Essex VT was up the road. The senseless stupid random violence made me feel homesick for my beloved NYC.
Anyone who shoots themselves twice in the head,and survives should be thrown out of the local homicidal criminals union. I hope the shooter does not try some Maple Syrup mania defense

Farmer John said... has to be processed sugar to work in court, beak. Natural sugar is no defense! It's too Eco-friendly!

beakerkin said...

I stand corrected and I do not think a defense could be mounted on the basis of ranch dressing. Ranch dressing is used by the locals on everything. LL Bean or Volvo envy might be attempted.

kuhnkat said...


good luck, and remember Ranch Dressing should not be self applied!!


Da Weaz said...

"Astute observers of this blog may notice some stylistic changes in my writting."

Yeah, you still don't know how to spell worth a damn.

Or at some point in English history was writing spelled with two T's?

Nice job, still dumb as a brick.

Da Weaz said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Da Weaz said...

Of course, it's unlikely you'll be hired permanently. What job wants to keep a moron on the payroll?

If 15% of people pass the test, then rest assured: you'll be right where you are, at mom's computer, working on your blog.

beakerkin said...


I am sure you spell the same word with two ss. Where are your readers Weazie? Maybe if your social skill weren't on par with axemuderers and other mental patients you might have a readers.
Then again you could fill up a comment board with all of your multiple personalities.

Got Haldol Weazie?

kuhnkat said...

da weaz,

as you appear to like to knitpick, and Beakerkin is too much of a gentleman to return the favor, I will.

You wrote:

"Yeah, you still don't know how to spell worth a damn."

The word Yeah is innapropriate grammar either spoken or written.

"Or at some point in English history was writing spelled with two T's?"

Poorly constructed sentence compounded by the inappropriate capitalisation of T.

"What job wants to keep a moron on the payroll?"

Error in reality. A JOB cannot keep someone on a PAYROLL. A manager or supervisor or someone else in authority would keep him on the payroll.

"If 15% of people pass the test, then rest assured: you'll be right where you are, at mom's computer, working on your blog."

Incorrect use of the colon. Of course, that is probably a PERSONAL problem with you also!!! Incomplete logic. Even if he was hired, he would STILL be on mom's computer working on his blog.

In summary, you MORON, leave the mispellings, grammar, punctuation... out of it until you are perfect, or you seriously can not understand what the person is attempting to say!!

Is this more of your anal fixation??


Da Weaz said...

And if you knew what a colon symbolizes, you'd realize it is within my prerogative to place it there. Try again.

Da Weaz said...

If you think "yeah," is not used in either spoken or written English then you don't know English. Google it. If you wanted to correct grammar, learn exclamation marks. Sorry.

Da Weaz said...

Kuhnkat, ya half witted jackass, if you type "yeah," in google, you'd find 247 million hits. So much for your English lesson. No small wonder you come to the defense of your spiritual illiterate twin. Learn about exclamation marks yet?

kuhnkat said...

Da weaz,

You are confusing CORRECT usage of punctuation, spelling and grammar with COMMON usage. I use a lot of COMMON and idiomatic usages myself.

Your use of a colon is purely personal. I am a Christian so do not agree with it. We are both Americans and I believe there are no longer laws against it, so, help your self to all your common usages!!!

Actually I realise what a colon AND your head symbolise and fully understand the juxtaposition!!!


You Illiterate ANAL MORON!!!!

PS: Yes, you are VERY SORRY!!


kuhnkat said...

da weas,

Obviously you were unable to understand the underlying message of my critique of your post, so I will spell it out for you.

Picking on spelling and grammar in these forums is a cheap trick for a MORON who has NOTHING to refute the facts of their opponent.

If that is all you have, shoot your self and put your self out of your misery!!!


Da Weaz said...

Sorry, bozo, you have said nothing of substance, and definitely don't understand the world in which you live. You should be in Iraq right now, given your passionate belief in the military and you being in reserves. The broken military will soon be upping the age limit, and a moron such as yourself should be over there instead of shooting your mouth of over here.

And you're a hypoChristian believing that you could be a soldier and a Christian at the same time. You're just a half witted moron who writes long lengthy laugh lines like a little girl in the second grade. Sorry.

Mr. Ducky said...

cumquart, you're a Christian?

No, I suspect you're an endtimes freak who has never read the gospels.

Love that avatar of you posing with your little league trophy.

Now why not take a deep breath and say something cogent.

Da Weaz said...

And if you weren't such a jackass, you'd know that "yourself" is one word.

Sorry, moron. Learn English before you try to correct it.

Mr. Ducky said...

yeah, weaz, what you said.

Why isn't he over participating in the great iraqi clusterf**k. Scaring the insurgents with his little league trophy?

Da Weaz said...

Cause it's much better to fight to the last drop of someone else's blood, of course.

But, duck, I kinda liked the old look a little better. Brought me back to the Miles Davis 50's.

Mr. Ducky said...

Hey weaz, he's a christian so he doesn't agree with your colon usage?

Christian punctuation? New to me.

Speaking of colons: He could use a high colonic.

Da Weaz said...

But I kinda like the idea of a half witted moron telling me that "yeah," isn't a real part of the English language.

What were the Beatles thinkin'?

Mr. Ducky said...

weaz, I can go back to Godard. Right now it's Kiriostani; an iranian is is far too intellectualt for cumquart.

Da Weaz said...

Yeah, he doesn't agree with my colon usage. Crap comes outta mine. He uses his mouth for that function, just like a whole lotta hypoChristians.

Da Weaz said...

Haven't seen his films.

Da Weaz said...

But yeah, the Goddard was better.

Da Weaz said...

So what am I missing with his films?

Mr. Ducky said...

If you haven't seen any of Kiriostani's I would try "A Taste of Cherry", "The Wind Will Carry Us" or maybe "Ten".

If he has a common theme it's people who learn to live life and not try to force it.

beakerkin said...

Weazie, we know you have seen plenty of colons. However, this blog is not about your proclivities.

Lets talk about ham handed flirting. This must be difficult for one given your tastes. Where does a Communist psycho with no social skills go to meet babes. Inquiring minds want to know which
ward you go to. Do chicks really laugh at you, because you are 3'11''.

Hey Weazie you might have a reader on your blog! Wait nobody reads your blog other then Ducky and old lard butt the failed writer in CA.

Two words Weazie SOCIAL SKILLS

kuhnkat said...

Little Che Sucky the Cowardly Liar and Da Weaz COME TOGETHER ON COLON USAGE!!!


You guys are the BEST comedy act I've read in YEARS!!!


kuhnkat said...


It's hard to believe you didn't script this or have to pay them!!


kuhnkat said...

Little Che Sucky the Cowardly Liar suggested:

"Speaking of colons: He could use a high colonic."

Sorry Cowardly, only REAL MEN, like da weaz, can give ME high colonics!!


kuhnkat said...

da weaz asked:

"So what am I missing with his films?"

Probably everything. With an incisive mind like yours, they are so far under your intellect you won't catch one idea!!


Da Weaz said...

53? Wow, you're a special kinda moron.

Farmer John said...

The award for most populistically correct film is the Oscar, and most politically correct, the Palme d'Or. No wonder you're a Kiriostani fan, mr. ducky...

Farmer John said...

...or do I have those awards backwards?

beakerkin said...

Hey Weazie, the men with the butterfly nets are on the way. Time for you to take your meds like a good sociopath. You can conquer the world in your own dementia another day.

If you are a good patient maybe they will let you have tapioca. My blog does not cater to the criminally insane, try your own.

Mr. Ducky said...

Actually, it's Kiarostami. My spelling is as poor as Beak's at times.

His list of awards covers a couple pages. Much more than just Cannes (he's won a few at Venice. I should have gone this year, had the chance). He was given a human rights award by Berkely so we know this might not be your cup of tea.

Politically correct? No, he's a long way from that. He's a very wise man and one of the 5 or 10 top directors of the last 50 years.

Mr. Ducky said...


If you care to research him Farmer.

MissingLink said...

I wish you all the luck you need.
Take care mate.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Kiarostami's that dude that made the Iranian knockoff of Taxicab Confessions, isn't it?

Purple Avenger said...

I hope the shooter does not try some Maple Syrup mania defense

Been tried...Twinkies and TV addiction.

Neither fared very well. The public is on to that sort of thing now. It would take a heavily leftist jury to buy it anymore.

Anonymous said...


May I suggest some ex-lax or colon blow because you are full of it.