Saturday, May 07, 2005

The GOP Crocodile Hunter goes to NYC part 1

This blog was dedicated to comedy when we set up shop. Kajando and Mr Beamish are great at this type of satire

Nick : Good day mate , this is Nick Adams your friendly GOP Crocodile hunter. Today we are going into the most dangerous territory in the world NYC . NYC is home to the infamous limosine liberal and a new phenomena the elusive Urban Red Redneck. We will check out those species and more in this exciting adventure of GOP Crocodile Hunter.

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Nick : In order to traverse this dangerous area we've hired a local . He isn't to friendly and his english is a bit broken. This is our guide Big Mike

Mike: Yo NYC is no place for the weak of heart. Everybody is a comedian or worthy of satire. Check this out a special treat we have a subspecies of the URR . This is the BURR . The Black Urban Red Reck.

Nick: Good day I am Nick Adams
Steve: Do not talk to your superior you White Devil. I am a Nubian god in my ebony glory. Bow and kneel to your new master.
Nick: In what ways are you my superior ?
Steve: Pigmentation and endowment you white boys are just not as equiped to satisfy women.
Nick: How do you know this ? Do you regularly go checking out male anatomy ? Did you do a statistical study ?
Steve: What are you suggestion ? Homosexuality was invented by the Joooos to fool the black man and the righteous 5%
Mike: Five percent but the bank is giving 2% . Are you some kind of Loanshark ?
Steve: No fool only five percent of the brothers are meant to be saved. You two are out of luck.
Nick: I think homosexuality was around before Jews.
Steve : That is not what Misister Metamucil says. The white man was created by the evil scientist Yacub to enslave and trick the 5%. Hey Jew boy turn around I am not talking about homeloans .
Nick : So you believe everything this Minister Metamucil says about everything.
Steve: Yes the whites and have stolen our culture. We built the great Zimbabwe, Pyramids etc and the white man stole it.
Nick : Speaking of Zimbabwe isn't it true that the Lemba claim to have built Zimbabwe and that they are ahem Jewish.
Steve : The only Jews that are real are the black Jews. The white ones are Khazar mongrels. The real Jews built Zimbabwe and the Khazars sold us into slavery. We want fourty acres and you can keep your fugly mule.
Nick : But that is ridiculous Islam and the Eastern Slave trade took far more slaves
then Jews. In fact there are places in Africa where it is being done today.
Steve: Minister Metamucil says it is lies spread by the Khazar mongrels. They practice a gutter religion.
Mike: Two seconds ago you said the Jews were the Lemba and they built Zimbabwe. Now you are saying they practice a gutter religion.
Steve: The real Jews are fake to prove it there is no J sound in the Hebrew language.
Nick: Are you out of yout mind ? The J sond is a phonetic translation of Hebrew.Think
of Jerusalem or Jesus.
Steve: You can not understand my superior intellect as you lack the melanin.


Nick: Melanin has nothing to do with intelligence.


Steve : So says your white science. You will make a good slave so why don't you fetch me something to drink an eat.Don't bring me any tea or crumpets and no Oreo's.
I would like some Hawain Punch with that.

Nick : So ends this episode of the GOP Crocodile Hunter. Next episode we meet the sickening Limosine liberal.

16 comments:

Warren said...

The BURR?
Isn't that a haircut or something?

Yes yes, we know. So many slaves were brought to America that to this day sharks follow ships on the off chance they might score a choice peice of meat chucked overboard.

beakerkin said...

Warren

The BURR is a corruption of a term
I coined for liberal bigots. Far
left types like to talk about Rednecks with contempt. The truth is that these far left types are essentialy the Urban equivalent of Rednecks. The exception being that Rednecks are less hostile and do not talk about Revolution.

In NYC there is a black militant group called the 5%. They say the quotes I attributed to the person
Steve. According to their teaching White people were created by a mad scientist named Yacoub. The Jews are the apex of evil and they enslave the black man and introduced homosexuality to the world.

The term I coined was URR. Urban Red Redneck. A BURR is a black nationalist with the same tendencies. The Recidivist is a GURR . Gay Urban Red Redneck. The Urban version is much more annoying.

Warren said...

I've heard of "the 5%". I've even heard an interview with one of their spokes nuts. They're an offshoot of "The Nation of Islam". So that 5% actually makes them the nuttiest of the nuts.

beakerkin said...

Warren

Consider yourself lucy that you have not been stuck in a party with
5%. I had that experience and the conversations were lifted almost verbatim. Sometimes liberals have a hard time admiting minorities can
be rednecks.

BigBubba said...

Big Bubba was in the United States Army.

beakerkin said...

I will make the correction Bubba no offense intended.

Always On Watch said...

beakerkin,
Thank you for the excellent information which you left on my blog! I guess I'll be busy exploring.

I would indeed like to be introduced on your next electronic bar. Just let me know when that occurs by posting to any of my blog items. I don't have time to post every day but try to keep up as best I can. Staying informed has become a full-time job.

PS: Just FYI...Last year, I visited the WTC site. While I was there, a German fellow was espounding to his girlfriend, "Yada, yada, yada. The United States had it coming." I launched, and it wasn't pretty, but he shut up.

PPS: I have posted this message on your blog as well as on mine. Maybe that's not the correct etiquette, but I'm just learning my way around.

Warren said...

Always On Watch,
Around here, we aren't exactly the epitome of blog etiquette.

Good for you, (WTC incident), idiot children and fools should always be corrected.

Beak,
I'm glad I wasn't at that party!

beakerkin said...

Warren

Please believe me I wished I could get out of most of those parties. Sadly , my best friend the late Saul was always throwing them. I always ended up in some mayhem.

The 5% were bad but the Anarchists
who spent an hour on evil Monacco
was bad. I wanted to jump out the window. Evil corporate hospitals was a close second.

Always on the Watch

Let me know what day is convenient
for you . I will hold another Electronic Bar to welcome you and Elijah if he wants.

We have a nice community of Conservatives and you have met Jason and Warren. Mr Beamish is fun as well.

Always On Watch said...

beakerkin,
My busiest days are Wednesdays and Thursdays. However, I check the web and the blogs every day, sometimes in the early mornings, sometimes in the evenings, and sometimes all day long at intermittent intervals, thanks to the technology of the laptop. However, I DO have to make a living, boo-hoo.

FYI...I am very likely unavailable all day long on Friday, May 20 and on Tuesday, May 24. Professional commitments on those days.

Do I have to login at a particular time on a particular day? [Be patient with me--I'm new to all this]

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

I haven't done satire in a while.

Perhaps my best were this and this.

Enjoy!

beakerkin said...

Beamish

That was excellent Satire.

Always on the Watch . I will do an Electronic Bar Segment this Friday.
You can visit most of the crew Mr
Beamish and the legendary Big Bubba
before hand .They have great blogs
and are great people.

Always On Watch said...

beakerkin,
Any specific time for the Friday Electronic Bar?

beakerkin said...

No I'll post a segment and alert
the crew. Say Hello to Big Bubba
and remember he is a real hero and a classic.

http://mindlesstwitmagnet.blogspot.com/

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Technically, I'm on vacation from my blog till next week, unless something extremely newsworthy happens. By that, I mean something truly newsworthy, such as Fidel Castro setting his beard on fire with one of his dogshit cigars or someone finding Saddam's WMD in Michael Jackson's bedroom.

Always On Watch said...

Mr. Beamish,
Considering the world situation, would it really be a surprise if either of those aforementioned things happened? The media wouldn't let us know, but the blogs would.
I hope to check in tomorrow.