Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Urban Communist Hunter

Mad Zionist Jewish Conspiracy Productions present

Urban Communist Crocodile Hunter
starring Mr Beamish as the Hunter
Co starring Beakerambo as the incoherent gun carrier and guide.

MrB: We are here in the big metropolis in search of the worlds most venomous prey the Urban Red Redneck. Now this evil creature tries to hide his true colors but a prepared hunter has ways of finding him. Beakerambo fetch our bag of commie lures.

Beakerambo Me Me Me Meep Me Me Lazy %$^$^%& Meep Meep

Mr B: Beakerambo how many times have I told you to stop hanging out with Jeff Bargholz. Watch the language or I will have to cut your wages.

Beakerambo: Me meee Meep Me mmmme Minimum.

Mr B: Oh I forgot we can't cut the wages if you are making minimum wage allready.
Now Beakerambo has bought us a copy of a fake CD Brokeback Communist Mountain in French and subtitled in English.

Now to find this Communist we must wait in front of this theatre frequented by Marxist Movie snobs. We will be back after a word from our sponsor.

Announcer: Are you tired of annoying house guests?
Beakerkin: You woke me up at 4AM to get salted butter, Yardley English Rose Lavender Soap and Charmin Ultra. Quick call 9-11 there is going to be a homicide.
Announcer: Don't go postal over rude house guests.
Beakerkin: What?????
Announcer: Just spray ode de la Fresh Kills Landfill at the front door and your pest will go to a motel.
Beakerkin: Hey this stuff is so bad I am going to the motel too.
Announcer: See it works and you didn't commit hommicide.

Mr B: Now Beakerambo go out there and set up the CD's on a blanket and put on the turban.

Beakerambo Me meme Meep Me me Mi low wages meep.

Later;

Ducky: Hmmm you have a lousy collection of Reveng of the Nerds films. They are so middle class mediocre the bette noir of raunchy teen films.

Beakerambo: Me me mi Meep Meer Snob Mee Meep Meee.

Ducky: I understand your dialect modern idiotese. I am a film expert. Whats this Broke Back Communist Mountai

ZAAAAAAAAAAP.

Mr B: Smells like Barbequed duck. Lets toss him into the Mr B Truck before the shock wears off.

Beakerambo: Me meme me primadona Me meeep.

Mr B: We have captured the rare Marxist Duck.
Jason Papas: Mr B how are you doing. That is an excellent catch you got there. Keep up the good work. Oooop s my book fell into the holding pen.
Mr B: Will you look at that his head just spun around and did a 360 like Linda Blair.

Ducky: REMOVE THIS VILE SATANIC SCREED NOW!!!!
Mr B: What book did you drop in there.
Jason: The Fountainhead.
Mr B: Beakerambo go in there and get the book before we get arrested for Poultry Abuse.
Beakerambo Me Me mmeeep union me me mi
Jason: Unions do not help the incoherent. Thank you for getting my book back. I think you should keep a copy. Rand is like crytonite to the Marxists. Beakerambo have you ever thought of seeing a speech therapist.
Mr B: He just got back
Jason: You mean he was worse.
Beakerambo Me me meep Me Mariah Meep Me
Mr B: He had to leave the place Mariah Carey was treating him as a sex object and he objected.

Tune in Tommorow for the continuing adventures of

The Urban Communist Hunter.

37 comments:

nanc said...

and apparently she was trying to pay him minimum wage?

beakerkin said...

Nanc

Poor Beakerambo, he always ends up with the jobs nobody wants.

Mad Zionist said...

Whendo I get to burn the koran?

beakerkin said...

We will have to see if we can work in a cameo. I do have the plot line where TMW appears as a guest.

Jason Pappas was outstanding in this episode.

Elmer's Brother said...

As long as she doesn't sing Mariah can treat me like a sex object.

my favorite part was Ducky putting down Revenge of the Nerds. Such an erudite film.

Also if Ducky is gonna act like Linda Blair and he is gonna get BBQ'd I could hear him screaming "EAT ME" "EAT ME"

you also might remember these quotes from the film as they apply here:

Especially important is the warning to avoid conversations with the demon.(aka communists) We may ask what is relevant but anything beyond that is dangerous. He is a liar. The demon is a liar. He will lie to confuse us. But he will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological, Beaker, and powerful. So don't listen to him. Remember that - do not listen.


Psychiatrist: Is there someone inside you?
Regan Ducky MacNeil: Sometimes.
Psychiatrist: Who is it?
Regan Ducky MacNeil: I don't know.
Psychiatrist: Is it Captain Howdy?
Regan Ducky MacNeil: I don't know.
Psychiatrist: If I ask him to tell me, will you let him answer?
Regan Ducky MacNeil: No.
Psychiatrist: Why not?
Regan Ducky MacNeil: I'm afraid.

Ducky: My idea of Heaven is a solid white nightclub with me as a headliner for all eternity, and they LOVE me.

Ducky could help an old altar boy.

What an excellent day for an exorcism.

MissingLink said...

Remember that - do not listen.
Oh nO!!
You mustn't listen no matter what.
When he talks to you, trying to lure you into his powers by depicting the future workers' paradise (tempting, tempting), close your eyes and sing something powerful, like Peter, Paul and Mary: Puff the Magic Dragon.

And remember Beak: Magic Dragon NOT bloody Magic mushrooms, nor any other MAGIC PUFF!

The Merry Widow said...

And Jason just happening to have several "Randoid Screeds" just in case there was a plucky who needs to be abused! Jason- Were you ever a Boy Scout?
And I get to be an annoying person? Wow! How fun!
Good morning, G*D bless and laugh!

tmw

Always On Watch said...

LOL to the post AND the comments!

beakerkin said...

Tonights episode will be a thriller. Where is our Marxist film critic with his review.

I wonder if the muppet union will file a papers over the treatment of Beakerambo. He has not been the same since he was in the psychiatric ward with Mariah Carey.

Mr. Ducky said...

SHUT UP YOU TROTSKYITE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Ducky said...

Hey Beak, how are things in Union Square? I miss it since my Cooper Union days.

The Merry Widow said...

First the jihadists and now Mariah Carey? Poor Beakerambo! He needs a vacation, no, forget it, I don't need to give Beaker any ideas on how to abuse him next!

tmw

beakerkin said...

Ducky I was expecting a scathing review. Cooper Union is still an amazing school. The area has not changed much with the exception of some obscenely over priced lofts.

TMW

Its funny you should mention Beakerambo abuse. We have a an unusal situation on tonights show.

Mr. Ducky said...

Beak, what do you think about the Chinese film that won at Venice this year? Finally recognizing that the Chinese film output is the best in the world right now?

It was also encouraging that Resnais' new film was quite well received.

beakerkin said...

Duck

Unlike film snobs I view the form as entertainment. I see nothing wrong with high quality mass entertainment.

My views of the role of art is quite different. I don't quite put fim on the pedestal you do. The asumption is that an artist may have a superior vision. The reality is that they may be as messed up as the rest of us.

The Merry Widow said...

Beaker- :snert:!

tmw

Farmer John said...

btw - mr ducky...

Thanks for the Jean Renoir lead. He definitely looks worth checking out!

Mr. Ducky said...

Farmer, Rules of the Game and Grand Illusion are really compulsory viewing.

He's a great stylist with a lot of substance.

Mr. Ducky said...

Beak, behave. When have I ever said anything against entertainment.

I have an excellent collection of Repuplic, Mascot and Columbia serials from the 30's and I am a big fan of the "B" movie.

I am sorry that you don't understand that it's a big tent. We all understand entertainment but why do you stop there?

Do you think Renoir's presentation of the disintegration of the aristorcracy can't be entertaining as well as informative? Do you think technique and creativity do not contribute to entertainment value?

You need to look around a bit more, beak.

beakerkin said...

Ducky painting in the time of Renoir was equivalent to motion pictures. Some of the reviews of Renoirs works we consider master works today were killed by critics.

The question of art for mass appeal or art for arts sake itself
has been around for ages. The cutting edge mass produced films hailed by art critics are just not as relevant to society as a whole as family based entertainment.

What percentage of families watched Monsters Inc? Hollywood produces flops like Alexander when they forget about the purpose of film. Entertain and convey a good story and all else is secondary.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Film's only purpose is to project visual images and messages. But it is not as powerful as sound.

Take the hunting scene at the beginning of Disney's Bambi and replace the sappy music soundtrack with Metallica's "Seek and Destroy," and the scene become hilarious rather than sad.

kuhnkat said...

Beakerkin said:

"The asumption is that an artist may have a superior vision. The reality is that they may be as messed up as the rest of us."

Actually, that should be MUCH MORE messed up than the rest of us. When was the last time you were driven to write or produce drivel like most that is turned out!!

Actually, I think you would probably turn out much better work based on your BeakerRambo presentations!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mr. BTIP,

While I haven't seen Bambi, I have a copy of Bambi meets Godzilla. I would find it hilarious with any number of soundtracks. I will allow that some would be better than others!!

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Kuhnkat,

The hunters in the movie Bambi go nuckin' futs blasting away at Bambi's mom (apparently these hunters had a doe tag) with multiple shells from their shotguns (apparently they weren't interested in meat quality) and there's sad music when Bambi finds himself motherless. The scene itself is ludicrous, from a hunting perspective (indeed Bambi is something of an anti-hunting propaganda piece), but set to heavy metal music it becomes down-on-the-ground-rolling funny.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

A good sequel.

MissingLink said...

... have a copy of Bambi meets Godzilla...

All I want to know is - who won?

There's always a BAMBI
Palis are Bambis for the IMS pinkos these days.
It feels good to have a bambi to be sorry for and generous and so to speak superior.
It helps of course if Bambi is cuddly.
Unfortunately Palis are just hairy but not very cuddly, oh… and they explode occasionally.

kuhnkat said...

Mr. BTIP,

Sounds like a scene Elmer Fudd and relatives were in!! My kinda cartoon!!

Was Bugs around?? Yosemite Sam??

Missinglink,

YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BAMBI MEETS GODZILLA??
It is a cult classic. The first time I saw it was as a filler on one of the premium cable channels in the mid 80's. I almost DIED!!!! If you can't find a copy I might be able to capture it from my VCR and digitise it. Let me know.

When the Palis strip down and run around living off the land and running away from civilised people I MIGHT start having a little sympathy for them.

NOT!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

kuhnkat said...

Mr. BTIP,

where can I get a copy of that Pokaho... mentioned in the trailer for the Disney 2000??

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Did you ever want to make a modified version of Bambi where a pack of wolves came along and tore her apart and slip it into the Matinee for all the kids?? We could call it Bambi Meets the REAL WORLD!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

MissingLink said...

Kuhnkat No haven't.
Now I feel like a New Yorker who got caught of not knowing all Goddard's movies.

Farmer John said...

Kuhnkat,

Wasn't that the so-called controversy of "March of the Penguins"? Seals jumping out of the iceholes to grab penguins... or something like that.

Farmer John said...

mr. ducky,

...Renoir's presentation of the disintegration of the aristocracy can't be entertaining ...

You almost sound like Tertullian...who said something to the effect that one of the pleasures one would enjoy in heaven was looking down and recognizing some of those being punished in hell... a form of shadenfreude.

Your heroes are the little people. Ours are the big people. We wish everyone were big. You wish everyone were little. Your a Lilliputian "little-ender". We're mostly "big-enders". I say we set sail for Brobdingnag!

nanc said...

or as steve martin used to say, "LET'S GET SMALL!"

mornin' farmer.

Farmer John said...

mornin' nanc!

Farmer John said...

...maybe you could don a swimsuit, wade on over, and smash their fleet!

nanc said...

it's far too chilly - brrrrrrr...

Farmer John said...

I can't go. Shrinkage.

nanc said...

not to mention goosies...brrrrr...

which reminds me of a story...

kuhnkat said...

farmer john said:

"Your heroes are the little people. Ours are the big people. We wish everyone were big. You wish everyone were little. Your a Lilliputian "little-ender". We're mostly "big-enders". I say we set sail for Brobdingnag!"

Actually, his heroes he won't tell you about because then you would understand that he THINKS he and his fellow travelers could run the little guys lives better than they or anyone else!!

No, the SUCKY has so much CONTEMPT for the people, small, medium, and large, that he thinks they NEED someone to push them around. He just can't imagine allowing people to learn from their own mistakes and GROW as independent HUMANS!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA