This is my 9-11 post, I chose the weekend when only people I conider to be family are likely to read this. I want to thank my clsest friend in the blogosphere Warren and Justin for helping me deal with some of the issues of 9-11. Many others of you have also been very helpful with some of these issues and I thank each and every one of you.
There is a notion that some have that time heals all wounds and with time you will be made whole again. This is just not true, and I envy those who have the ability to forget. Sadly on most nights I get around four hours of sleep unless I am ill or exausted. Around once a week my dreams take me back to 9-11 like a broken newsreel loop. The images in my mind have not dulled with time.
It is actually harder to live in the North Country than to be back home. Every few days someone asks and they are well meaning. Back home there are plenty of other people to ask. There is also white noise that makes the sound of low flying planes undetectable. The other day military excersizes at the nearby airport unsettled me. I drove to Hazens Notch to get away from the low flying planes.
Making the situation worse are the anti-semitic conspiracy clowns. These are the same people who held a Nuremburg style rally while the buildings were still burning on Saturday. Jerry Falwell makes yet another stupid comment about Gays and the media reported that. 2000 anti-semitic Commie traitors hold a Nuremburg style rally on the Saturday after 9-11 and America heard nothing. The conspiracy clowns make a mockery of the dead. They insult the brave firemen who knew they were joining history as I raced away from it. The conspiracy clowns insult the intelligence of any rational thinker. I read a post from the most deranged conspiracy nut of them all and even far left commies thought talk of Muslim Goblins was insane.
Time does not heal all wounds and I am likely to be tied to that day for the rest of my life. There will always be the sincere coworker who asks about that day. There will be a young child who asks simply "what happened". More annoying are the far left red rednecks who make a mockery of that day. Even our benign Anti semitic poultry dismisses what I and many others experienced on that day. Poultry is more worried that Muslims might be scrutinized at airports or be made to answer for a crime commited in their name. Is my future that of the Pearl Harbor Vets who lay a reef in the Sea every December 07 n the Staten Island Ferry?
There are also plenty of Walter Mitty type leftist who mistake me for John Wayne. Although John Wayne, James Arness, Richard Poe and myself all share the same birthday
we are not super heroes. Several leftists have remarked well did you try and rescue anyone. No you were a coward and ran and saved your backside. There were Police officers who were spooked by that day and also ran. They are not to be blamed as no amount of training could ever prepare one for what happened. It is amazing that the vast preponderance of rescue personel rose to meet the vortex of death. Sadly, at times like this we often see the best of man trying to fix the hell created by the worst of man.
9-11 and the 93 blast will travel with me in my memories until I am forgotten. We should always remember the rescue personel who died trying to save others in an unspeakable hell. They embody the noblest of our virtues and should never be fogotten.
Beamish in 08