Mad Zionist Jewish Conspiracy Theatre presents
The Urban Communist Hunter
starring Mister Beamish
also Starring Beakerambo as his incoherent assistant.
Mr B: Most people think of classic class based Communists . We are in NYC's Union Square Park in search of the Giant Headed victims rights Conspiracy Brother. And there he is will you look at the head on that freak.
Beakerambo: Me Me Mi Meeeep Bobble Head Mi Meep.
Mr B. Yes Beakerambo he does resemble an ugly bobble head doll
FBI Agent: We are here to arrest Beakerambo.
Beakerkin: Wait a second let me look at those papers. This can't be true Beakerambo failed a drug test for anabolic steroids. This has got to be a mistake look at him.
FBI: It is no mistake and your friend is looking at hard time. We can't have TV stars doing drugs unless their last name is Downey.
Mad Zionist: You mean to tell us Bakerambo is looking at more time than if he shot heroin. You idiot this is coming out of your salary.
Beakerambo: Me meeep me mi meep instructions
Mr B: What kind of stupid idiot told you that drug testing meant you were suposed to try the drugs?
Beakerambo: Me Me Mi Meeeep Mi ^%&%^&^&* Duck meep.
Beakerkin: Beakerambo you it was the Duck that told you.
FBI: Time to go
Mad Zionist: Aren't you going to handcuff the prisoner.
FBI: In this locale people pay good money to get handcuffed. This is the Federal Government you don't get anything for free.
Mad Zionist: Cut we will have to hold a production meeting in 15 minutes.
Mad Zionist: This is terrible news Beakerambo is key to the shows sucsess. We have Beakerambo lunchboxes and action figures. This incedent hurts our revenue stream.
Beakerkin don't you have a friend who is a charachter actor. His name even sounds like Beakerambo.
Beakerkin: Bruno Amato but he's human.
Madzionist: We will pull the soap opera deal. Now playing the role of Beakerambo is Brunoamato. The kids will never notice.We'll shoot him from the waist down, film snobs will think it is a new type of cinema.
Beakerkin: I will see if Bruno will help us out, but I don't know about this one. Why not rewrite the role for Bruno.
Mad Zionist: Can Bruno sell lunch boxes? Rest my case.
Now I used my Jewish conspiracy connections and I had Beakerambos case assigned
to one of our a Judge Judith. The woman you see on TV
Beakerkin: Judge Judy, we are dead, dead ,dead. She is never going to buy this idiot defense.
Mad Zionist: You work on getting Bruno here. Leave the legal problems on my desk. We will see who we know who can argue the case.
On the set
Bruno: No wonder this guy is hostile who writes this stuff Mi Meee Meeep.
Beakerkin: Bruno you see these lunch boxes. Beakerambo sells lunch boxes.
Bruno: He also does all the dirty work around this set. He fetches heavy objects. Has to go into cages with dangerous Communists
Uptown Steve: The reason is Beakerambo is a brother. The Mi Me Me Me is twisted ebonics because you Jooooish goons denied him his heritage. This set is modern day slavery.
Beakerkin:Can anything else go wrong?
Mariah: Oh where is my lover Beakerambo. Has he been hiding again. Beakerambo you have gotten taller and swarthy.
Bruno: Me Meee Mi Meeep Later Me Meee
Beakerkin: Now I have seen everything Mariah Carey just mistook Bruno for Beakerambo.
Uptown: She isn't a real Black woman. Beakerambo can't handle a real black woman.
Beakerkin: Mad Zionist where is the lawyer. I just see Freedom Now and TMW.
Mad Zionist: I sent Freedom Now to a Holliday Inn and TMW is plan B
Beakerkin: Plan B
Judge Judy: Beakerambo vs the state of New York. Council this seems like an open an shut case.
Freedom Now: Your honor we will present evidence that my clients low IQ and mental health problems led him to be tricked by Ducky the evil Communist from MA.
JJ: DO YOU THINK I AM STUPID!!!! YOU ARE MAKING A MOCKERY OF THE COURT. Swear in the defendant Beakerambo.
Court Officer: Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me God.
Beakerambo: Mi Me Meee Meeep Yes.
JJ: Is this some kind of joke what is with this me me me stuff. You better talk like a man you are in Court on serious charges. Get out from under the seat.
Freedom Now: Your honor my client suffers from a speech impediment. He has been seen by the best speech therapists who have concluded he can't string a sentence together.
JJ: Let me see those deposition. Beakerambo!!!!!! sit up straight you are in a court of law.
Freedom Now: Your honor my client has just got back from a mental health facility.
JJ: Let me see those depositions. Son quit shaking and sit in the seat like a man. DO
YOU WANT ME TO SEND YOU BACK TO THE FUNNY FARM !!!! NOT ANOTHER MEEEP OUT OF YOU.
Freedom Now: Your honor my clint as you can plainly see follows instructions and does no thinking for himself. I would like to produce my next witness an Educational Expert Always on the Watch.
JJ: Beakerambo you may step down. Don't slouch and for heavens sake get a haircut.
Freedom Now: AOW would you say that Beakerambo is challenged.
AOW: Other than his speech impairment.
Freedom Now: Exactly.
AOW: Beakerambo is a follower he does whatever he is told to do. He is a guilable person. Most of the time he is managed well by Beakerkin or Mister Beamish. However, it took three weeks to get the cursewords out of his vocabulary when Jeff Bargholz visited. He isn't at the top of the class in any description.
Freedom Now: So if a malicious communist told him drug testing meant to take near lethal amounts of steroids he would do so.
AOW: Without question.
JJ: Call your next witness.
Freedom Now: We would like to call Ducky as a hostile witness.
Duck did you tell Beakerambo to take steroids.
Ducky: I take the fifth
Freedom Now: I had prepared for this contingency. My assistant TMW will now question the witness.
TMW: Duck we will now start from my favorite part of the New Testament.
Duck: I confess I tricked the idiot Beakerambo into taking steroids get the Bible away. I figured we could aid the course of Social Justice by discrediting Beakerambo,
but I can not take Bible Study. Send me to a Gulag.
JJ: First of all I hate men who whine. STOP WHINNING. There are no criminals lower than those who prey on the disabled. If there were capital punishment available I would throw the $^%$&^% switch on you myself. However, I will remand you into the custody of TMW for Bible study for two years.
JJ: And for whining no obsure French Films for a year. Case dismissed Meep Mi . Now I am starting to Me Me Talk like that idiot. Get him out of my court.
Madzionist: All's well that ends well. How do think your friend Bruno is going to take being fired?
Beakerkin: I do not think its a problem. He is off with Mariah taking another problem off our hands.