Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Beakerkin and Barron take the subway

My roomate and I took the subway to go to my parents house.He doesn't get out of the appartment much. In fact it has been twelve years since he left the appartment. My roomate is a three pound turtle with a surly disposition. His name is Barron and he is an adult version of one of those green cute turles. He is the size of a small luncheon plate. Turtles grow throughout their lives unlike people but at a reduced rate.

I put him in a huge pail and our adventure began. I sat in the front car away from everyone else. A stunning Latina said to me " A turtle in the subway ??? I have never seen that before". I told her that " Sure if they can have mole people why not turtles in a subway car. He was rather well behaved as he can be agressive and you will be sorry if he gets a hold of you.

We got onto the Staten Island Ferry and the DHS gaurd said " A turtle on the ferry ". " Why not maybe I will take him on an airplane next ?" I said. He seemed to be almost enjoying the attention. A hot dog vendor threw him some swarma and he ate it.

The most common question was " How old is he and what does he eat ?" He is 32 years old and eats anything and everything. Most of the time he eats live fish but he eats
table scraps and insects. He seems to be fixated on scrod but he will eat salami.

The Barron seemed to be a crowd pleaser." He is so cute " was a common refrain. I have heard of men upstaged by dogs but a turtle must be a first.


Elijah said...

A domestic post, not like you at all beak, you must be feeling melancholy...

beakerkin said...

No there are two tear jerkers in work. Trust me you will not be disappointed.

Jason_Pappas said...

Turtle as chick-magnet? Who would have thought? Perhaps you'd have taken him out sooner.

Warren said...

Small dogs always worked best for me but my pet turtle was an alligator snapper and they aren't exactly what you would call cute.

beakerkin said...


NY reptila tried to pawn a 30 lb Aligator Snapper on me. I told them no way the Tank would need to be 200 gallons.Even part filled it would weigh a ton. Feeding a monster like that would reqiure Carp.Carp is sold live in Chinatown.

Jason : I did notice that women want to talk to you even with my
surly little friend. I wouldn't want to do it again. The Comic releif is too much . I am trying to visualize him on an airplane.
Remember Vets condider my guy more dangerous then small dogs.

Robert Lindsay said...

Dang I think I am going to buy me a turtle now! Haha!

What's does this mean, beaker, "There are 2 jerkers here". Can you elaborate?

beakerkin said...


Turtles require some work and dedication and if handled wrong one can loose a digit. Your habit of beig doped up could be quite injurious but alas it would spare the public of your verbose antisemitic fictions.

No maybe the Recidoofus can find you your very own toy concentration camp. This way you fan fulminate your fondness for the
Jewish question.

The statement was there are two jerks here. My time is rather limited and I have precious little.
If you need hour daily insult Big Bubba has a site with your name on it click the link to mindless twit

bum from jersey said...

oh man, almost makes me want to go out and get a turtle.

beakerkin said...

He is a blast and I will miss him while I am in Vermont.He will stay with my folks. I would love to take him up there . Maybe when my sister comes with the kids in August.