Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Back In The Hot Seat with Mr Beamish Round Two

Mr Beamish has asked for a second iterview and we are honored to conduct a second interview with Mr Beamish. Mr Beamish is the standard of skillful comedic quips in our community. However, he also is quite eloquent and on topic when the topic calls for it.

1 Most of us are well aware that you are a fan of the St Louis Rams. What are your thoughts on basketball, baseball, hockey.

2 Has free agency ruined football? Who has the worst football franchise over the last twenty years.

3 What should we do with North Korea and Iran,s nuclear ambitions?

4 Is Hugo Chavez a potentially more serious problem for the USA than the USA.

5 You are the artist who created Beakerambo. Is Beakerambo really a halfwit or does he just have a speech impediment.

6 What are your views on Liberation theology? Is Marx compatible with Christianity?

7 Are those on the far left mentally defective? I have yet to get answers from Weazie who is behind the great 9-11 conspiracy he advocates.

8 We have established that you are a comic book fan. What are your views on the Punisher and Daredevil?

9 What videogames are your favorites? Would you like to see a Mr Beamish themed video
game?

10 Were the Godzilla movies fun or a bore?

11 Should the government eliminate student loans for majors that do not provide gainful employment like Sociology, Minority Studies and Anthropologies?

12 What are your views of the flat tax?

13 What are your thoughts on India? Should our Nation pursue a more pro-Indian foreign policy?

14 Is China a friend or foe, a mixture of both.

15 What are your views on agricultural and artistic subsidies?

16 Who is the most annoying celebrity?

17 St Louis is known for Barbeque, what are your views on barbequing the following items shrimp, lamb, venison and possum?

18 What crimes are suitable for the death penalty?

19 Do you own a shearling or leather jacket?

20 What are your views on meat substitutes?

21 Have you ever driven a tractor?

22 Who is the most annoying troll you have encountered so far?

23 Were you a fan of the A team?

24 Should speed limits be raised to 75 on rural interstate highways?

25 Who is your favorite pundit?

22 comments:

nanc said...

more softballs...

Farmer John said...

Perhaps you should lend beak a nutcracker.

Try teeing up one or two of your own. No law again' it.

The Merry Widow said...

Well, it is wise to tread softly around certain people, and the future pres-elect is a good place to start!

tmw

kuhnkat said...

OT:

http://www.newsmax.com/archives/articles/2006/10/23/170810.shtml?s=lh


Awwwwww, whoda thunk!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

nanc said...

whoa - when i came by the first time there were only five questions - i thought you'd mistaken beamish for farmer! then i realized there were no plato questions...

farmer - i've teed them up before!

Elmer's Brother said...

Where's David Gregory when you need him?

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

1 Most of us are well aware that you are a fan of the St Louis Rams. What are your thoughts on basketball, baseball, hockey.

Basketball doesn't have enough elbows and bloody noses to keep my attention.It would be snoring boring, but there are cheerleaders.

Hockey doesn't exist, and hasn't since the NHL strike in 2004. Not many people I know missed it when it was gone, and hardly any Blues fans I know have returned to watching the game. I'm still pissed at those ice skatin' union "laborers."

Baseball shouldn't be mentioned in a question about sports. It's like asking about cake frosting flavors in a quantum physics question. Being a baseball fan is as gay as you can be without actually gargling gonads. Swingin' a long one.. yeah buddy. No cheerleaders.

2 Has free agency ruined football? Who has the worst football franchise over the last twenty years.

I don't think free agency has ruined football. Typically by the time a player reaches free agent level in his career, he doesn't have too many seasons left in him - NFL does stand for "Not For Long."

Worst franchise? I'd have to say "Oakland Raiders" - the pasture of the NFL, where careers go to die.

3 What should we do with North Korea and Iran,s nuclear ambitions?

We should send them nuclear weapons, express delivered via ICBM in 30 minutes or less, until they ask us to stop.

4 Is Hugo Chavez a potentially more serious problem for the USA than the USA.

Who?

Oh yeah, the wannabe Castro flunkie. He's nothing 35 cents or so couldn't solve. (The cost of a 7.62mm FMJ round) Until Venezuela finds a way to make oil taste good, they can't keep it off the market and they can't eat it - other nations are more than willing to sell more of their oil to offset any discrepancy of Venezuela halting production. Venezuelan oil brings capital to buy food, fighter planes from China, etc., so sitting on it to "punish" the United States or giving it away to "embarrass" the United States robs the Venezuelan economy of much needed cash flow. It's actually kind of cute watching Chavez destroy his own people. It brings the cost of a CIA-backed coup against him down considerably. Shit, someone might even shoot the fucker for free.

5 You are the artist who created Beakerambo. Is Beakerambo really a halfwit or does he just have a speech impediment.

Well, you came up with the idea of putting Beaker's head on Rambo's body. I just ran with it. Then it took on a life of its own with the parody of LoBrow's blog after he stole the avatar. The whole hostage Beakerambo as a analogy for the stolen avatar situation was fun, but I couldn't have done that without the help of a lot of others.

6 What are your views on Liberation theology? Is Marx compatible with Christianity?

God is free. They should concentrate on liberating somebody else. Marx isn't internally coherent enough to be compatible with anything that occurs in reality, including Christianity.

7 Are those on the far left mentally defective? I have yet to get answers from Weazie who is behind the great 9-11 conspiracy he advocates.

Everyone to the left of Barry Goldwater is mentally defective. I consider Goldwater a moderate.

8 We have established that you are a comic book fan. What are your views on the Punisher and Daredevil?

I like both characters. The Punisher rocks.

9 What videogames are your favorites? Would you like to see a Mr Beamish themed video
game?


I'm really digging the Marvel Alliances X-Box 360 game, obviously. Madden '07.

A Beamish themed video game would be a war strategy simulator combined with a first person shooter.

10 Were the Godzilla movies fun or a bore?

FUN! Have you ever seen the uncut Godzilla in its original Japanese glory? Mothers crying over stomped children, all that? Great dramatic action. Then Godzilla became the hero of Japan. The movies got crazy after that, but I've seen every one.

11 Should the government eliminate student loans for majors that do not provide gainful employment like Sociology, Minority Studies and Anthropologies?

The government should eliminate student loans.

12 What are your views of the flat tax?

It's fair at 0%, not fair higher than that.

13 What are your thoughts on India? Should our Nation pursue a more pro-Indian foreign policy?

If the United Nations were a meaningful organization, India would be in France's chair on the Security Council.

14 Is China a friend or foe, a mixture of both.

We trade with China because slavery is illegal in America.

15 What are your views on agricultural and artistic subsidies?

Wouldn't need agricultural subsidies if we didn't have to grow food for much of the sub-American branch of humanity, and dole it out to them for free. Art should never be subsidized by government. Hell I have problems with the amount of money the state pays the guy that paints lines on the streets.

16 Who is the most annoying celebrity?

Neil Young.

17 St Louis is known for Barbeque, what are your views on barbequing the following items shrimp, lamb, venison and possum?

Yes, yes, no, and no.

18 What crimes are suitable for the death penalty?

Irreversible punishments should be given for irreversible crimes - murder, rape, child molestation, speaking while leftist, etc.

19 Do you own a shearling or leather jacket?

I have an old leather jacket that will probably be replaced soon. I usually wear an Adidas hoodie.

20 What are your views on meat substitutes?

Meat is an excellent substitute for soy products.

21 Have you ever driven a tractor?

Technically, yeah. My parents have a lot of land and Dad mows the lawn with a blade doohickey that he pulls with an old 1940 Ford tractor. Now they have 5 goats that are eating machines. One day I'm going to strap a bunch of leaf-covered branches to my body and dive into the middle of those goats. I swear they're like piranhas when it comes to vegetation. That would make a funny video.

22 Who is the most annoying troll you have encountered so far?

I'm pretty impatient with people who defy efforts to detect brain activity within them. Pretty much all leftists.

23 Were you a fan of the A team?

I liked it, but it wasn't a favorite.

24 Should speed limits be raised to 75 on rural interstate highways?

70 is fine.

25 Who is your favorite pundit?

Me, of course.

Kyle said...

"Most annoying celebrity?"

Damm, how does a person choose just one?

nanc said...

i paid back my student loan.

nanc said...

BOO!

Steve Harkonnen said...

16 "Who is the most annoying celebrity?

Neil Young."

Don't laugh, but in a previous band, I sang lead for Young's song, "Rockin' in the free world."

JINGOIST said...

I'm still laughing too hard to remember half the questions. The Venezualan oil answer was especially good. They can't eat it can they Beamish? Great interview!

Morgan

nanc said...

okay, steve - i won't laugh to your face...

Farmer John said...

Well there should be enough wood in there to get you started on the '08 beamish platform, beak.

Always On Watch said...

Irreversible punishments should be given for irreversible crimes - murder, rape, child molestation...

Rape and child molestations destroy the victims, to one extent or another. And child molesters are like chicken-killing dogs--in other words, notorious recidivists.

I'm not into football. Apologies to Mr. Beamish for that.

Farmer John said...

Of course Islam's "modesty laws" ENCOURAGE rape by holding the perp "blameless" and make the victim "guilty". Talk about your destruction...

Mad Zionist said...

I have to disagree with Beamish on hockey. Strike was bullshit, but my Sabres are 10-0-1 right now and that's all I got in sports since the Bills suck so bad. Besides, how can you hate a sport which has no gangsta bullshit, no rap star groupies and no obnoxious dances after goals are scored. Just a bunch of beer drinking white boys who say please and thank you during interviews...

JINGOIST said...

MZ you just made one HELL of a point about Hockey! I love the Tampa Bay Lightning and watch them all the time because they are the closest team to Jacksonville. Having said that, if the Lightning hadn't won the Cup I'd still be too pissed to watch hockey because of their damn strike. Normally when these pampered multi-millionaires go on strike--any sport--they lose me for two or three years. So I get his point.

Morgan

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

MZ,

I used to be a Blues fan-atic. Now I couldn't tell you how they're doing or who they're doing it to. The hockey strike pissed me off.

Believe it or not, I did follow baseball when I was younger, until the MLB strike of 1981. Nowadays you figure the lowest paid pitcher in the league averages around a blue-collar worker's 40-hour paycheck EVERYTIME he throws a ball in a game. What the hell does he need to strike about? It's bullshit.

And, to put even more light-years between me and liking baseball, here in Missouri (admittedly during the time the Democratic Party controlled the legislature and the governorship) on the front page of the newspaper, the same day, there were two stories.

One was about the state coughing millions of dollars to build a new Busch Stadium (the old one apparently didn't have enough empty seats).

The other?

The other was about how state income tax refund checks would be delayed because the state treasury was on fumes.

We got rid of Democrats in most positions of power.

Now if only we could get rid of the welfare recipients that just won the World Series, even if they did it without pine tar soaked palms.

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Steve,

I went to what was billed as a CSNY concert and wound up in a anti-Bush, anti-war rally. Even the aging hippies were saying "shut the fuck up and sing."

JINGOIST said...

Beamish I used to LOVE their music! What talent. Now they've become so seriously maggot infested that I'd have to get a free ticket and limo ride just to show up drunk!

My wife and her friend talked me into going to Elton John with them around two years ago. Old twinkle toes was doing a helluva job until he decided to take a break to bad mouth W. Bush and RONALD REAGAN!! To the credit of the Jacksonville crowd he was boooood loudly for about two minutes! I HATE Euro a-sholes who make a fortune in our country, move here to avoid Euro taxes, and then have the fuc-ing nerve to badmouth the US!

Morgan

kuhnkat said...

Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08
Beamish in '08

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA