Tuesday, May 04, 2010

All in the Beakerkin Family Episode 2

The Mighty Beakerkin Art Players present another episode of All in the Beakerkin Family

Beakerkin: You don't have to fix up the house it is only my army buddies coming over.
TMW: But they are guest.
Beakerkin: They have been here dozen's of times.
Ducky: Yeah just a bunch of patriotic geezers remembering killing children and committing war crimes. Hey how many kids did you kill in Nam?
Beakerkin: Hmmm I could come out of retirement and.....
TMW: Now Beaky, he's your son in law...
Beakerkin: Are you trying to discourage me?
Ducky: Uh I better run I think I hear the Communist Bookmobile.
TMW: Now Beaky you scared the hell out of Ducky. I have never seen him run so fast
Beakerkin: Except at meal time.
Warren: Hey Beaky you old nut have you been behaving.
Beakerkin: That will be the day.
Justin: Did that lazy son in law get a job.
Beakerkin: That will be the day.
TMW: Beaky he is just needs to finish his studies of whatever it is that he is studying and gives me a headache trying to explain.
Justin: What was he studying anyway?
Beakerkin: How to exploit the working man by changing your major six times. Of course none of the stuff he studies leads to gainful employment.
Oh no
Warren: Who is coming up.
Beakerkin: It is that nut Yeagley next door and the Duck is running for his life
TMW: Dinner is ready oh Ducky is back just in time
Beakerkin: He never misses a meal
Yeagley: That is one amazing bird...
Elmer: She's married.
Yeagley: I am talking about the turkey
Beakerkin: He's married to my daughter.
(Evertone laughs)
TMW: Why don't you join us.
Beakerkin; Can anything else possibly go wrong. Why is it every time I sit down to eat the whole world comes into this house. Look that senile fool is at the door.
TMW: Beaky try to be a good host.
GMS: Beak, I have been asked by your neighbors to approach you about dealing with the new threat to the neighborhood. It appears an Indian has moved next door. We don't want our property values ruined by some curry eating foreigners.
Beakerkin: Listen here you idiot. The person who bought the house next door is not that kind of Indian. The person is a Native American.
GMS: That is worse he is probably a pagan savage drunk who got kicked of the reservation.
Yeagley: Actually, I am an PHD with a degree in divinity and attend church every week. I am a Comanche.
Beakerkin: Listen here you. Don't come into my house and start insulting the guests.
Justin:Beak relax stupidity is not contagious.
GMS: I always knew you were a fake patriot. You are sitting at the table with a communist homo
TMW: BEAKY remember your blood pressure.
Beakerkin: Listen here you idiot. I served my country in Nam killing Commies and then as a federal officer while you were scratching your butt. You don't own America.
Ducky: Bigotry is as American as Apple Pie.
Whole Room: Shut up Duck.
GMS;Look at him he's a foreigner and a homo. The boys are gathering to protest and burn a cross.
Beakerkin: Ah not the KKK crapola again. This man's ancestors were here long before yours. You invaded his land killed his game and sold him cheap alcohol.
GMS: The man said he was a communist.
Beakerkin: Commanche you idiot. It is a tribe in Texas and Oklahoma and has nothing to do with bug eyed idiots.
Ducky: Have you McCartyhite goons ever read Marx or watched the movie Reds.
GMS: Well he is still a member of that gay singing group. The one that sang In The Navy.
Beakerkin: No he was never in the Village People and he is wearing traditional clothes.
Yeagley: I admire you trying to protect your area from Negros and trying to preserve Christian values from assault from Communist homos.
Justin: What do you know about America you or Christ you loon. I served in Vietnam as a Chaplain and as a gay man.
Yeagley: A Sodomite we must defend our civilization. You white people need a reservation to protect your culture from Communist homos. Can you spare a white sheet and pillow cases.
TMW: Sure here you go....
Beakerkin: Oh why did you do that .
TMW: It was those cheap polyester sheets Ducky bought me for mothers day.
Warren: A KKK clown wearing polyester bedsheets is kind of funny.
Ducky: There is nothing funny about the KKK. They killed..
Justin: Far less people than you commies where did Beak go
TMW: Beaky don't do it. You are too old for that and think of your blood pressure.
Beakerkin: I didn't serve my country for KKK clowns to make a mockery of the country I love and burn a cross on my lawn.
Warren: Did you see what that crazy idiot is doing he's getting the KKK to dance with produce and sing "Some Enchanted Evening"
Justin: This is really more comedic than evil. Beaky calm down ...
Beakerkin: The produce he's dancing with came from my yard.
Justin:You can't take on fifty men by yourself.
Beakerkin: I'll take Ducky's jawbone.
Ducky: More zionist propaganda in the Bible that led to Rambo films
Beakerkin: Out of my way.....
TMW: Its horrible
Justin: I have never heard screams like that come from a human
TMW: Oh my goodness. God have mercy
Warren; God would have mercy. But Mr. B and Beakerambo have none. Look at those KKK clowns run.
Beakerkin: I almost feel sorry for them.... Not. Look Mr. B just gave an atomic wedgie to the leader and Beakerambo just broke a 2x4 over the head of another. Now they are running for their lives.
Justin: What is that idiot Duck doing.
TMW: It looks like he's making jiffy pop popcorn off the burning cross.
Mr. B. : Just another days work in the office. Kicked some KKK ass and got a huge appetite. Beakerambo next time bring tar and feather.
Mr B: Break out the Beer and crank up the Back in Black Album.
Beakerkin: Mr B. embodies the best of American values.
Ducky: Like cheap violence, gratuitous use of domestic beer and dreadful taste in music.
Mr B. : One more wedgie Beakerambo...
Ducky: Hey you mindless brute quit grabbing the Fruit of the Loom...Ahhhh
Beakerkin: As stated Mr B embodies the best of America break out the Budweiser and the John Wayne DVD's
Ducky: Can't you brutes watch Bergman.

Tune in Next week to another episode of all in the Beakerkin family with our special guest Rav Roov.


beamish said...

Did Rod Serling call in sick?

Ducky's here said...

If you think that right wing America watches John Ford, Beak, then you've lost it.

Strictly Michael Bay with these low functionals.

Ducky's here said...

By the way, Beak, Reds had very little to do with communism. It was primarily a period romance.

Have you ever seen it?

Always On Watch said...

No part for me????


Oh, well, I am on blog hiatus right now. Sort of.

The Pagan Temple said...


Maybe Beak will let you play the part of Gloria. That way, you can be married to Ducky.