Bealerkin: I am the spokesman for MZ Jewish Conspiracy Productions. Dick Clark like all great entertainers has fallen victim to father time. We need a more fitting celebration. Droping an Apple in NYC has become passe and predictable. However, dropping a Daisy Cutter in the Sunni Triangle is a more usefull and skilled venture.
We have our crack logistic staff and Liberterians working on the calculations as we speak. This also provides another marketing vehicle for our merchandise.
This special is brought to you by our new sponsor LL Beamish Cothing for Americans who kick A#$%$%.
Now Here is a word from our sponsor.
Ducky: Your daughter wears gas mask and combat boots.
Elmer: Yes she does and she is good with an M-16 in urban combat
Ducky: This is so reactionary
Beakerkin: No it is LL Beamish fashions for patriotic kids that kick #%$#%$%
Mr Beamish: This is Mr Beamish your host of this party. Now this party would not be complette without draging tha asses of evil from around the globe to the Sunni Triangle.
We send you now to our team in Australia where Felis is hunting Janice the retard.
Felis: It wasn't hard to capture Janice as there are not many people in OZ and the number of actual retards are small. We found her with a der sturmer and Hezbollah coloring book and shipped her off to Iraq.
Mr Beamish: Thank you Felis. We now send you to Canada to our Man Elijah who has captured notorous gay communist anti- semite Simon Jones.
Beakerkin: Jone's works are featured on an actual Crank dot Net site. He blames the Jews for polution and claims there is more evidence that gays are the chosen people.
Chosen for what belongs only in the mind of the insane Jones.
Elijah: We got Jones by creating a fake add for a live video event featuring Norman Finkola of DePaul. He isn't a manly type and went into the crate.
Mr Beamish: We had to send a super secret stealth team to the UK. We were searching for the flaming anti-semite Gertrude.
Beakerkin: This was a case of the UK teaming with Gay Communist anti-semites. We captured Gert, 167, Mark J and Craig B in a gay concentration camp role play event.
Gert is still screaming that he only was there for the free cheese dip.
Mr Beamish: We ask our UK observer what on earth is going on in the UK.
Mark Alexander. Well unlike the states we do pay for condiments in resturants. But this cheese dip bit seems far fetched.
Beakerkin: Mark don't these idiots know Jihadist kill homosexuals.
Mark: Communists and anti-semites are not as you Americans say are the sharpest tool in the shed.
Beakerkin: A reader from the West Coast wants to know is real cheese dip was involved in the capture of Gert.
Mark Alexander: Well there was some of the dreadful Cheese Wiz. However, I leave it up to you to decide if a man would go to a Gay Communist Roleplaying event for cheese wiz, it sounds improbable.
Mr Beamish: We had no great difficulty getting the Weazel out of the Finnish mental hospital. The Finns were only to glad to turn Weazie over to our crack European Squad
led by Kuhnkat and Beakerambo.
Weazie: Captured by an imbecile who runs around saying me all day.
Kuhnkat. HAHAHA YOU MORON the sons of Quisling were glad to get rid of you. It seems you are drain on society and above all else a MORON.
Weazie what is 12 1/2 and headed for your backside you MORON HAHAHAHA.
Weazie: Is this more of your Judeofacistic homophobic humor? I do not find this amusing.
Kuhnkat: Trust me you will not find the answer amusing. It is Beakerambo's size 12 1/2 steel toed boots headed to your behind.
Beakerambo: Mimime stupid antisemitic mimimi midget
Kuhnkat: Beakerambo you were off to the left try again.
Mr Beamish: A special crack NYC team led by Jason Papas and the Urban Infidel had little problem finding Superfly John Brown.
Jason: Now there are many people that do attempt to move illegal commodities dressed like a pimp. However, using superior Liberterian logic we eliminated all those who were lucid enough to run an actual business.
Urban Infidel: We found the subject screaming at park benches about Vanilla Sam in Union Square Park.
Jason: Using Liberterian logic we threw some Mad Dog 20/20 and some government cheese in a airfreight container and the rest is history.
Mr Beamish: The last member of the asses of evil is the Marxist Duck of MA, Previous attempts to deal with him were not sucsessful. Dick Cheney was trying to eliminate the Duck while he was on his Texas vacation.
Mad Zionist: Unlike Cheeney we decided to seek professional help. So we hired a Native American tracker to help us catch the diabolical Duck.
Yeagley: This was no task for a true tracker of dectective. The suspect was found in the art film house watching Mission to Moscow for the 937 time. He is a University Duck and not quite as intelligent as his bird brained peers.
Mr Beamish: Now that the asses of evil are in the blast radius it is time to drop the Daisy Cuter.
Freedomnow; The plane is on its way from the east
Beakerkin: I wish MZ wouln't argued with the pilot over price. The daisy cutter blew up an oval.
Warren: Guys there are some really creepy dudes coming on the horizon
Jeff Bargholtz: Lock and F%&^Kin Load
Nanc: Beakerambo put down John Brown's Jawbone. He has spent too much time in Bible Study with TMW.
Mr Beamish: Guy those creepy guys arer not who you think they are. Those are Raiders fans who have come to play Slob Bowl against the hapless Detroit Lions.
Justin: Watching the Detroit Lions is almost as bad as being captured by Al Queda. Where are there fans??????
Rob Bayn: Don't look at me I jumped ship.
Beakerkin: I think we spoke to soon there is a huge angry mob. My Arabic is not good
but it sounds like Detroit Lions Go Home .
Spokesman: Take your stupid and useless Detroit Lions back to America. We want an Iraqi Nascar style race and our own Lee's Fried Chicken franchises.
Warren: What makes you think you Iraqis are ready for NASCAR?
Spokesman: Have you ever seen an Iraqi car without dents. Our people are ready for Nascar.
Mr Beamish: NASCAR and fried chicken in the Sunni Triangle Americanism is infectious. Happy 2006 and on to a Kickass 2007.
AOW: Beakerambo come out from under the jeep the Detriot Lions are not playing.
Beakerambo; Mememee me Lions suck me me beat the Cowboys me me.