Thursday, February 14, 2008

Obsessions

I am also amazed at the same people who will remind you about racial slurs or angles will often call a gay man a faggot. I do not ever use words like the N word or faggot as they are unacceptable.Yet there are times when some coworkers are hypersensitive on race. The N word is never acceptable and nobody should ever be made to feel uncomfortable. A perfect example of this hypersensitivity was workers who felt that a waitress doted on me while ignoring my coworkers who were black. I mentioned that I eat in the place fairly often and the waitress in question was well aware that I tip very well.

Homophobia is a fact of life and the same persons who would kill a person for using the N word would freely bandy faggot. The persons who use this term were not conservative in any stretch either. Amazingly these people seem to see me on similar level terms with the Duck. I was amazed to hear myself described as a radical leftist.

Most of the times I have observed homophobia it has been guys. This is the first time I have ever observed this behavior in women. They seem to think they have gaydar and can detect a gay man on appearences or by vocation. If you heard my voice and Justin's voice and knew one of us was gay 90% would choose me as gay and be 100% wrong. We could go through vocations
Justin was in the military and I was in the fashion industry and be 100% wrong. We could stereotype based upon my Justin is a parent and I am not and be wrong. We could also point to
the fact that I enjoy Broadway, frequent art museums and have lived in a gay section of NYC and be very wrong.

When I was younger, perhaps that could have been my stupidity. Over time my life has changed me and I am happy to have become saner as I aged. I honestly do not care who does what to whom as long as children and I are left out and all participants consent. Living next door to a gay
man did not change my life. He was a fine person in all respects. I also knew plenty of heterosexual pattern makers.

Sex and love mean different things to different people. I am convinced that some of us over emphasize its importance. I have known a few women who do have real versions of the relationship portrayed in Will and Grace. These odd relationships often go on for years. Some of these couples even get married.

I have been mistaken for gay several times. I do not get offended by this as I never considered this to be an insult. The part that bothers me is the hate that accompanied it. No doubt my saying I wish you wouldn't use that term will get me labeled again. I would have said similar words at the use of the N word or calling woman a slang word for sex organs and am neither black or female.

At least my version of expressing my disapproval was mild. I wish you wouldn't use that term is much better than the long winded lectures I got. I got one of these lectures from a novice who never worked a day in the field. This person went on to have a similar fight with one of the mentors.

Sometimes I seriously wonder if we as a society too much importance on gender, race and orientation. I am aware of what the scripture says about homosexuality. I do point out that there
are many other sins as well and failure is part of the human condition.

16 comments:

Always On Watch said...

"Faggot," "fag," and "faggy" (as well as "gay") are common term used by high schoolers to insult anybody or anything they don't like. The terminology came into vogue for those usages about 10 years ago. I've never figured out why.

The Pagan Temple said...

It's fun to call people fag and gay, because so far it's one of the few derogatory names you can call people that hasn't been banned by the PC crowd. It used to be just as much fun to call people spicks, gooks, Pollaks, etc. Now using such names can cause you problems. It's not even really safe to use it in a fictional context, without some degree of rationalization-i.e., such and such character is an obvious bigot and low-life redneck, etc. Any portrayal of a person who uses such terms must be accompanied by such descriptions, or that they are just ignorant and don't know any better.

Most people that use such terms aren't really that bigoted, and it's more a release mechanism than anything, or something used for shock value.

Now of course, it's overweight people who are considered safe to malign as "fat asses", porkers, etc. That's probably the one and only group of people it is considered universally safe to malign by and amongst all other groups.

QunQat said...

Beakerkin, while your call for tolerance is quite reasonable I take issue with this:

"...nobody should ever be made to feel uncomfortable."

This is quite a broad statement. How would you recommend changing ingrained ideas if we are not to make the persons UNCOMFORTABLE?????

This morning I had a very good discussion with a gentleman supporting the San Francisco policy of blocking Corporate and Chain outlets like Starbucks. I guarantee you I made him QUITE uncomfortable and in NO WAY infringed upon his rights!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

QunQat said...

OT

If Ducktard has not already decided to vote Obama, this should do it!!

http://www.aim.org/aim-column/obamas-international-socialist-connections/

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

nanc said...

i use the word "fag", but only because i have two gay cousins who use it so freely!

it's kind of like when my husband affectionately says, "hush up, squaw!"

my sister calls her half black children "niglets" and nobody thinks a thing of it.

words are messing up everything.

Z said...

Well, I tell you what, you don't hear FAG here....I'm surprised to hear it's apparently bandied about so easily, it's on a level with the N word in LA, truly. I think word acceptance is definitely regional, don't you think? I'm sure there are words used HERE that other areas would CRINGE to hear. This is the town where homosexuality is touted in practically every film and TV show, so WE aren't going to use our meal ticket in derrogatory fashion, RIGHT? (smile)

How's everybody feel about Jane Fonda so easily using the "big" C word on the TODAY show yesterday morning, with Meredith Vieira enjoying the laugh? I NEVER thought I"d hear THAT word on TV. O'Reilly interviewed a female attorney about what she thought and it was totally cool with her..she said her 12 yr old daughter's heard that word all over school, etc. MAN, that is ONE WORD you DEFINITELY don't use around here! (except, like I have always said "unless it's just the BEST word for somebody.." let's face it!) This attorney saw NO problem with it being on at 8 AM on normal, child-available TV. NO thought, not a BIT, to how that lowers the bar of civility and decency. "WHO CARES?" amazing. I want to go back to Leave it to Beaver. (oops!!)


AOW: I think you're probably right that kids use fag or faggot to slam another kid, but it's funny, since gayness is so obviously "the thing to participate in" in our schools nowadays.

what a world.

BEAK! I have a question I haven't asked another guy yet, not even Mr.Z. A very straight friend in Boston, a very handsome attorney, tells me he gets hit on all the time at his gym and he "considers it a compliment" and moves on. WOULD YOU? I found that bizarre. tell me!!!

Mr. Beamish the Kakistocrat said...

I only use the word "nigger" online, always in quotes, and in the context of assuming the voice of a Democrat electoral demographics modeler.

As in "niggers should vote for Hillary after we toss Obama under the bus in March" or "vote Democrat or we'll burn a cross in front of your HUD housing."

At no time that I use the N-word to imitate and make fun of the DemoKKKrat zeitgeist ever conflicts with the racist tones that actually do come from DemoKKKrats - from their calling black Republicans "Uncle Toms" and "Aunt Jemima."

Bush and Cheney get to be "evil," but Condi Rice gets to be "stupid."

It's so glaringly obvious who the racists are that pointing it out is overkill.

Rob said...

The word is not as important, as the context. If your making a joke or being sarcastic, who cares.........but if your saying stuff like "I hope all those fucking faggots die of aids".......than we are talking about whole different story.

People are to uptight these days. By the way, this post was really GAY!

:-P

Z said...

Nobody's going to tell me if it's not 'weird' that a very straight man considers it a 'compliment' if a gay guy at the gym comes on to me, huh?

I found it bizarre, but...maybe it's not a polite question!?

And, yes, it's the left with FAR more racist remarks than the right. Firstly, they've demonized the right SO hard that the right's afraid to say almost ANYTHING, and, secondly, it's also the left who's always outing everyone. Hey, their side has Jane Fonda use the C word on the TODAY Show and it's 'no big woop'. what the..........??

Beak, you are right about sin; every sin is part of the human condition; it's how we act, or at least try not to continue to act, and where we go for help in combating our particular weaknesses which make holiness.

beakerkin said...

Z

Somehow actual Gays know I am not gay
and that mistake has never happened.
The people who mistake me for gay are
people that have little contact with gays and make a big issue over a private matter.

Rob

That line is funny.

I was taken back by the anger that clearly accompanied the word faggot
from females who were themselves Black. I am certain they would not
appreciate the N word being used
in any context.

The problem again goes into people thinking that they posses "gaydar".
We go into an area of profiling with what do gay men look like and does a set of facts insinuate a person is gay. In this particular case the topic was relevant. However, ultimately we decide matters on law and facts and not on
looks or hunches.

Who knows if we start deciding things on looks maybe fat people, short people and ugly people will be next.

Justin said...

As I have always said the only way you will know I am gay is:

1. I told you or:
2. I slept with you.

Now do we really want to go into which one it was in public my pretty? :)

beakerkin said...

Justin

That is funny. Yet I have never observed such raw hostility towards gays from females. Maybe the reason was it was a dark skinned gay male with a far lighter woman.

The rationale for such naked bigotry eludes simple people like myself. YetI am a law enforcement officer. I work with laws, facts and reason. There is no room in my world for naked hatred. If ever I get ordered to do things on looks it will be time to go.

We ask a person a series of questions over 45 minutes and there
is nothing then we let it go. Ultimately, it is more honorable to
obey the law and uphold the Constitution than to act out of prejudice. Who knows what the next mans aesthetic or cultural biases will be.

I serve the people of the USA and the Constitution and that is enough
for me.

Mr. Beamish the Kakistocrat said...

We should probably use the politically correct term "feces foamer."

beakerkin said...

Mr B

There is malice in my heart towards gays. When we see people as less than human we become what we are fighting against.

We all have sin and homosexuality in and of itself is not the sum of sin.
Compassion and dignity are human qualities that distinguish us from the lunatic religious zealots who do not value human life.

Mr. Beamish the Kakistocrat said...

Beak,

To that I say if they're "gay" then why do they complain so much?

"Gay" used to mean "happy."

Now it means "engages in sexual activities known to be a disease vector."

We let them mangle the English language, isn't that enough "toleration?"

beakerkin said...

Mr B

I do not remember Gays complaining any more than the rest of us. The term homosexual is quite fine.

We are aware of what the scripture says. However, it is not the ultimate sin nor the totality of sin.

Most of the gays I know are decent people who just want to live in their own world. They work with us live next door and for the most part silently.

It is wrong to hate people that have never or will never do anything to you. Many gays themselves would agree about the in your face displays like the NYC gay rights parade.

Two decades ago I might have said the same things. However, over time
I have worked with and been friends with members of that community. I do not have gay friends, just friends. I am glad that I have grown since then.