Sunday, February 10, 2008

How does one measure a heart and Soul. Beakerkin talks of spirituality

This is going to be one of those rare posts where I talk about the spiritual in our daily lives. This post will also deal with Patriotism and honor. This is one of those posts that Justin or Warren would be able to help us with.

Each of us wears many hats in life. We are all Americans with the exception of Sonia and Jams who are citizens elsewhere. I also leave out utopian souless lunatics like the Duck and Ren out as well.
The commie has a simpler life as morality is whatever the maximum leader or savior says it should be. The rest of us wander through normal lives balancing our roles mostly in a mundane manner.

Those of you I write with off line see me as I am. The image of me as a super sleuth is disconected from reality. In real life I am governed by honor, but tempered with mercy. There are times I must end dreams, break up families or have no legal basis to help those that sorely need help. When I am called to deny a case it is something I do after examining all other options and then with a heavy heart and a sense of duty.

Some of my coworkers learned a few tricks from me.The techniques I learned in VT were not common knowledge. I have provided a potent weapon to my peers who show no reservations or qualms about using them. I never ever tell a peer what to do. I always point out the options and remind people to act in ways they deem correct. I do the same actions just without the zest and after alternatives have been examined.

I did take a vow to uphold the law. However, in my case some of the people I must uphold the law upon are decent folks. It is an easier thing to do it in a classroom than to do it to a person you empathize with. 99% of the time the job is a joy, but on that 1% we have to search our souls. I guess if it were so easy to end dreams I would have lost my humanity and be like those I despise.

I guess real life is often more complex than cheap drama.

Older readers will remember my surprise that religious folks ponder these questions of existence. I am not a religious type but I understand that there is something above us. I was just surprised that those who have deeper religious values would have days where you wonder about meaning, values, duty, honor, Justice , right and wrong.

Will I become jaded and lose my humanity?Will I still be able to understand those rare moments
when humanity trumps duty? The answer is within the hearts of all of us.


The Merry Widow said...

Anyone with any sensitivity wrestles with these questions.
As for losing your humanity, it is a danger, but I think you are old enough to be pretty much past it.
When you reach a certain stage in life, IF you have firm convictions, you can pretty much be firmly attatched to them, and disloeging you would take some major work on somebody's part.
If you keep on questioning and wrestling you will retain enough humility to stay grounded in your humanity.
It may be a tough road, but it can be done!
I will pray you finish this course of life so grounded!
Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!


nanc said...

beak - i, once, had the gall to step over the line from duty to compassion - it involved a child.

as you know, i worked in a public service agency - a father had gained custody of his daughter, but the mother and her boyfriend were hiding her out and we were bound by a rule to not give out such info - i knew the mother and boyfriend from my college days and they were all about staying stoned and skipping out on rent and other obligations. the little girl WAS being neglected (which to me is the same as physical abuse).

i told her father of the rules by which i was bound and he understood - i had written the address of where she was living and wadded it up and "accidentally" dropped it on the floor - and, i asked if he could get rid of it for me - he picked it up and opened it with the address and reached out and gave me a hug and i told him he didn't know where he got it and i would deny ever giving it to him.

i feel i did the right thing where the child was concerned and the father did have custody papers and i've never looked back on the incident.

these things happen. i could have been fired except for i had more wood on my higher ups than this piddly bit of info!

Jungle Mom said...

that you question only proves your humanity!

QunQat said...

Have another beer. It'll pass!!