I am approaching a milestone in my life but on Friday night was the first time I felt old. Two twenty two year olds were playing up to me at my local bar. One of them was a smoking blonde and the other a plain brunette.
As a young man I would have pondered the possibilities. However as an old man I smelled Gold Diggers and a probable beating from the North Wind. Rather then banter I said thank you for flattering my ego here is twenty and find a more guilable mark.
Maybe it is wisdom with age but I saw the whole set up. I do not dream anymore and to be honest the wrath of the North wind is not pretty. The Northwind blew in cold enough on that night. Had I not used my head there would have been a tornado. As a wise man said to me in NYC if it is too good to be true guard your wallet.
Mr Beamish in 08, Ducky to move in with Ernie,167 now has a blog called gash the comedic permutations of that are endless and Socrasleeze you write we abort.
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62 comments:
I counted 21 poster abortions today
and TMW may be right. I may have to replace the gun with a shop vac.
40?
Yes Nanc that is the number but I never felt old until Friday. I guess when dreams die and you see the gold diggers a mile away you are old.
Well at least the Northwind was consistent. The Northwind blows fierce when the wind comes from another direction. A dream is not worth a tornado.
Beak,
I counted 21 poster abortions today
You're being spammed by this troll. Good grief!
As to your getting old...it happens to the best of us. My husband enjoyed your posting, if "enjoyed" is the right word.
Look at it this way. You are now old enough to know a scam when you see one. Maybe that's not as much fun, but it's sure wiser.
AOW
You have no idea how disappointed I was. The local women in Northern VT are more prone to fight then then men. However, I am certain they found a more guilable mark.
The locals are not as sophisticated or cynical as I am.
I have seen too much to get fooled by amatuers. As a young man I would have been a fool .
However it could just be this uncanny sixth sense that some claim I posses. Just in VT alone I got hit by a tree, nailed a deer and walked away without a scratch. The locals are convinced I am lucky
but that con was just to easy to spot.
Here is to dreams may they never die but reality is much better.
Beak,
You have no idea how disappointed I was.
I'm sure that I don't. On June 17, I'll have been married 34 years. I was a child bride, of course. Hehehe.
Aw c'mon now. I'll be 36 in August. You can't feel old until you're at least 94.
Mr Beamish
If you are young enough to have dreams consider yourself lucky. I just read the whole thing as a scam. I guess I am just a tad cynical Mr B. The Blonde was really hot but I just sensed scam.
I am certain my impending death from the wrath of Northwind would have been a comedy classic. Blown up twice at the WTC, hit by a tree,
hit by a deer only to meet his maker from an outraged local. I am certain even the reality would not be worth the wrath of the North Wind.
i'll be fifty in july, but not before my husband turns forty-two! when he'd come calling on me for a year or so beforehand, i'd play like i wasn't home.
we're going into our seventeenth year together and sometimes i hear him telling our nearly 15 year old son, "don't mess with the young ones son, all they want to do is change you!"
so now, i see my son eyeballing his 20+ year old teachers! of course, he insists they save themselves for marriage! he's awesome - 5'10", 170+# with dark good looks and extremely moral - i'm sure i would not have liked him much in my younger days...
forty will perhaps be the best decade of your life. by now you know what's good for you and if you don't see it you're no longer impatient. when it comes you'll not be able to contain yourself.
forty was great, from what i remember...fifty will be even better, i think...
pick yourself up and go to donal's - it's her birthday! she's got ages on you birthday boy.
I made a resolution to grow younger every year. Now I'm going into my second childhood.
Good thinking Beak!
In this case 20 + 20 = trouble squared!
:^)
Honey, I turned 52 on Sat. The best is yet to come! When I married Ben, he turned 44 on our honeymoon, these are good years, now you just need to find the real deal for a wife and enjoy the rest of your life! I have really bloosomed in the last 2 yrs. What you are learning starts to come together and the results can be very satisfying. Maybe not fireworks, but the results last longer and give much reward. May this year be a year of fresh beginnings and much joy! Nanc- when you hit 50, after the shock you realize how young you really are! One of the youngest most vital women I know is 75! You go girl!
tmw
Happy 40th Beak...I'm 39 years old myslef (gasp!). Question: WTF is North Wind? I have no idea what this scam is or what you are talking about in the theme of your post. Please explain to this clueless youngin'.
happy belated birthday, tmw. may you live long enough to forget everything you ever knew! that's what i'm working for. that's what i tell my kids also, "i forgot more than you'll ever know!" they're still at the age they believe me. now, what was i saying...?
Nanc- I'm holding out for the Rapture, then I can go nanny-nanny-pooh-pooh to death on my way up! That and give the bootie dance! I have plans, many plans. As for forgetting...where was I?
tmw
P.S. How's this for reversal? My son took us out to dinner on Sat.! Did I ever tell you how proud I am of the way he turned out? Remind me if I repeat myself!
MZ number 40 is two weeks away. North Wind is the nick name for my local female companion. She blows in like the Northwind around every pay period. However she is about as reliable and predicable as the wind. I do not take her too seriously nor dismiss her off hand.
I do not ignore her out of fear of a tornado or huricane. Her temper is not something to be trifled with.
Am I the ancient one here? I'm 54.
that's not ancient, aow! as warren pointed out - it's second childhood time - yippee...now where's my walking stick so i can hobble out to the tire swing and have a look at it...?
anybody here ever fall going UP the stairs? just curious...
Beak, your chick lives out of the area and pays local women to come on to you, and then throws a fit if you show interest? Is this what you are saying? If so, time to dump the devious bitch and find something a lot nicer.
I did once. Couldn't feel my feet.
-fj
Of course, I am taking the cure. Tai Chi is great for learning a sense of balance.
-fj
MZ
Northwind had nothing to do with these two gold diggers. If she were around it would have been ugly.
I am up in the North Country and Northwind is a little strange . She is like the wind at times a gentle breeze at other times a hurricane but never ever dull. I try to keep my interactions with the locals to a minimum. I am an outsider and leave local matters to locals.
She is to put it mildly an aquired taste.
So, why didn't you just bag the hotties than? You could have kept your money and just told them after that you weren't interested, and your crazy northern bimbo would have never been involved...
Just musing over the scenario.
MADZE!!!
"bag the hotties!"
need i remind you that baby z is going to be a hottie one day?
get thee to a synagogue!
C'mon nanc,
As the oracle at Delphi inscription reads... "Nothing to excess!"
-fj
MZ
I like my body parts where they currently are. Northwind's temper is fierce and I have been on the wrong end several times.
There is an old NYC proverb if it looks to good to be true guard your wallet. These were 100% gold diggers and I am too old to be fooled. I also used up all my good luck at the WTC twice.
No doubt Mr Beamish will have some amazing wisdoms and humor at my expense.
...although TWO is a little excessive.... and of course, there's the potential child to think about...hmmmm.
-fj
BABY BEAKS? wonder what they'd look like?
farmer, you know this is how rumors get started...i have to go tell somebody, beak's intended is expecting!
Nanc
I do not have any children and plan on keeping it that way. Rav Roov who looks like a dark skinned version of me has two. My half sister has three and none of the kids look like me thank god.
A potential child with one of those two would mean a lifetime of agrivation. It is far better for people who love each other to have children.
Nanc,
anybody here ever fall going UP the stairs?
More than once!
Beak,
I like my body parts where they currently are. Northwind's temper is fierce and I have been on the wrong end several times.
Bwahahahaha!
That's what you get for playing with fire.
There's something to be said for not having children. And there's something to be said for having children.
I don't have any children, but my husband and I did rear my cousin. We took her in, pretty much full-time, when she was 13. Talk about a few rough years! Now, she has children and stepchildren of her own. I guess that makes my husband and me some kind of grandparents, though those two "grandchildren" are now in full rebellion. Well, maybe in a few years, they'll be human. We'll see.
Nanc- yes I have, think I hurt myself as bad as going down! No, no we want to find Beaker a soul mate, he's been in VT TOOOOOO long!
FJ-no little beaks without a full time mommy and daddy! That's final! Tai chi is wonderful, taught it for a friend for a few months til he lost his lease on the dojo.
Beaker- smart move, now be really smart and lose the manipulator! You're better than that!
Just got back from the dentist, needed a new crown, beware!
tmw
i agree with you, aow. but when you're a teacher - you are in the most delicate of care given to the children of others.
if i were of childbearing years today, knowing what i know now - i would not bring children into THIS world. and i love my babies.
uncle.
-fj
there happy? I guess I have no morals. nothing.
Farmer,
I guess I have no morals. nothing.
I beg to disagree.
Nanc,
I think that it is wise for teachers not to have children.
If one counts my "children," I have had several hundred. Mercy!
Remember the old movie "Good Morning, Miss Dove"? Loved that movie, showed the power of a truely dedicated teacher, the difference one teacher can make in a life! Or the damage one can make in many lives! That is why I made the decision before I married, we were going to homeschool! Ben and I both have had dreadful teachers, so we wanted better for ours. Since we knew ourselves, we did it! AoW, a good teacher is a blessing beyond hope for some children. The local middle school is a place of horrors! A friend has fought with teacher after teacher about profanity on the teachers part, the allowing of bullying, the harrasement of her son by students in class with the teacher ignoring what was going on! Horrid! And yet you soldier on, good on you!
tmw
if teachers didn't have children, where would all the children come from?
-fj
Perhaps your right. One cannot be wise and have children.
-fj
One can only "submit".
-fj
...once all hope has been extinguished... or die fighting, thereby extinguishing hope's last glimmer. It's hell loving another more than yourself.
-fj
If I was single...I would have gone for it. I don't carry around enough cash to make me a target.
And smokin blondes are hard to turn down
AOW..I have had only one child and that was several years after I stop teaching. Teaching didn't have anything to do with it though...I just wasn't ready yet
...actually some might be able to sacrifice their children, their blood for an ideal, but I don't think they could thereafter live with themselves. Jim Jones comes to mind.
...guess that answers the question as to why there are no utopia's. Not that anybody would care.
-fj
Beak, why are you so afraid of some chick? Man, you are disgracing yourself in public right now. Get a hold of yourself!
...and no koolaid is in the offing. (bad pun, I know).
-fj
i care, farmer.
madze - i'm sure we don't know all the details and i, for one, do not want to know.
so, when's beak's babe due?
That's the important question. We need time to throw together a baby shower! Have there been ultrasounds taken, do we know the sex, come on Beaker talk!
tmw
before i forget, madze, there is something seriously awry at your site.
What's awry at my site??
all i got when i went there a bit ago was the first article and NOTHING else, couldn't even get to comments and now i've forgotten why i went there...
nanc, check back again. All is welll...well, accept for "Dana the leftist troll" rearing her liberal, self-loathing head again.
she is something else!
Happ Birthday Beak.
You're still a spring chicken in my books.
FJ,
if teachers didn't have children, where would all the children come from?
Most teachers whom I know don't have many children.
TMW,
I never saw the movie, but I am familiar with the short story "Good morning, Miss Dove."
Used to be, the VA teacher's code required that teachers be single women. That was before my time, however. But when I first started teaching, the VA teacher's code had a morality clause.
all this talk about second childhood and aging is the "Twilight Zone" episode all over again.
luckily i got my youth. DAMN THE SUN AND UV RAYS!!
to those who don't know northwind, never trust her with power tools. btw, did you ever put together the coffee table yet [i had to ask, it makes me laugh].
LETS GO DEVILS!!!
No Northwind is not staying by me.
I am not letting her anywhere near power tools. The Coffee table is still in the box.
Felis my birthday is in two weeks I am not 40 yet.
so, when is she due?
Sorry there Socko time to die. Drummaster it is abortion time.
There is no free speech for pedophiles.
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