Friday, November 10, 2006

Breakout the Cheap Booze and Bad Jokes It is a Cyberoast For Rob Bayn

This is yet another one of those dreaded cyberoasts where I serve as our host. Regular readers are well aware of the format where we salute a fellow blogger to a Dean Martin style roast all in good fun. Our hostest for the evening will be Nanc and TMW is cooking up some classics in the back. Beakerambo has been dispatched from Celebrity dodgeball because he works for minimum wage.

I first met Rob Bayn on Upon Futher Review a decent site for those on the far left. Rob at the time was living a vile ugly lifestyle as a dreaded Detroit Lion fan. The Lions who have set the standard for futility in the NFL are a poor excuse for a football team. However, the Arizona Cardinals are making a great case for football futility. The Raiders will likely pass both and Raiders fans are part mental patient even in good years.

Rob and I disagree on many things. Rob likes American Idol and I want to kick Simon's posterior. Rob tends to like Pop culture more than I do. He does not seem to seek higher wisdom in the idiocies of American idol. The idiocy of finding higher meaning through films belongs to Duncy. Duncy is still trying to figure out the politically correct meaning of the God's Must Be Crazy.

Rob is a patriotic sane liberal. This is opposed to the insane anti semitic kind who run from Bibles ala Linda Blair in the Excorcist. Maybe a future Beakerkin Parody will be on the Bad Omen Marxist starring Justin Morris, Beakerambo, Elmers brother, TMW with 167 playing a satanicaly possed Marxist anti-semite. Jason Pappas will provide a cameo as the Liberterian alternative excorcist.

Rob has the distinction of being the only person with spelling that rivals my own. Of course the the fact that most of our couch potato critics have cut and paste blogs
goes unsaid.

Let the bad quips fly and the fun begin. The roast is underway

40 comments:

The Merry Widow said...

Beaker- You failed to mention Rob's very obvious funny bone! He can be positively, EVIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!I've seen it with my own eyes, twice, once at Longrange and then on his own site! I-I-I-I-I don't know if I can go on! It was bad, ask Nanc, I'm still traummatized.
I need some Harvey's...

tmw

Robert Bayn said...

"be berry berry quiet, me hunting leftists"

Oh crap it's dick!, DUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

beakerkin said...

Yes Rob the Communist Duck was involved in Cheeney's mishap. However, shooting a lawyer was seen as a net positive in the polls.

Robert Bayn said...

Shoot a lawyer, save your pocket book?

nanc said...

heyyyyyyyyy - enough about the cut and paste thing - i just learned how to do it not too long ago and perhaps i'm just showing off a bit...

rob is proving to be quite the acidic comic and i'm enjoying his company and quips - it will be difficult to rib him if i cannot pick at his misspelling - jeez beak, you stole my thunder!

but i like my roasts medium rare with horseradish and twice baked taters.

Purple Avenger said...

patriotic sane liberal

I thought that went out of style with JFK and Humphrey...

Are you sure you're not imagining things Beak? Have you seen any Bigfoots, UFO's, or had any Elvis sightings recently too?

I just want to make sure someone hasn't slipped you a drugged burrito or something before I trust this declaration.

Always On Watch said...

Beak,
Maybe a future Beakerkin Parody will be on the Bad Omen Marxist starring Justin Morris, Beakerambo, Elmers brother, TMW with 167 playing a satanicaly possed Marxist anti-semite. Jason Pappas will provide a cameo as the Liberterian alternative excorcist.

Don't I get a part? **sniff**

Always On Watch said...

Beak,
Duncy is still trying to figure out the politically correct meaning of the God's Must Be Crazy.

An exercise in futility. That film doesn't have pc message.

The Merry Widow said...

And a large green salad for the fiber and something decadently chocolate for dessert! Since it's cooling off, how's about some chocolate lava cake?
Rob, you want duck? Here plucky, plucky, oh forget it it, he's probably gamey and stringy. Don't think I could do anything to make palatable! Forget the DUCK, Rob!
I'll make stuffing as compensation!
Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!

tmw

Always On Watch said...

Rob,
Welcome to the insults! You'll get the opportunity to show off your clever quips as you respond.

I can't wait to see who dishes out what.

Warren said...

I remember the first time i met Rob.

I was busy pealing the skin off 167s sophicant and toad, the almost literate Craigy B.

Rob only saw the tail end of that massacre and thoughI was just being mean when, in fact, It was an intervention, (or is that a mercy killing, I always get those two mixed up),

Rob went off in a huff, (or was it an oldsmobile?)

Rob, even when I was driving the bamboo spikes under your fingernails, I knew you were one of the good guys.

Robert Bayn said...

at least i can say NUCLEAR!

beakerkin said...

AOW

I may write that satire and when I do I will write a role for you.

People who arrived at the tail end of the 167 thing like Rob may have gotten the wrong impression. 167 was the most insane Communist anti-semite on the planet. The only one who is close is Dr Gertrude Smith of Lost in Space UK.

Over time Rob has realized some of these people are off their rocker. A classic example was Robert Lindsay who swore Stalin saved lives. This must be some type of new math that they teach in the public schools.

Now lets get back to busting on Rob. Rob really does watch American Idol and is a big fan of Simon. Maybe one day we should do Beakerkin Troll idol. We can have Warren, Rob and AOW grade trolls.
Word to all aspiring trolls we like our trolls manly and do not repeat yourself.

beakerkin said...

AOW

I may write that satire and when I do I will write a role for you.

People who arrived at the tail end of the 167 thing like Rob may have gotten the wrong impression. 167 was the most insane Communist anti-semite on the planet. The only one who is close is Dr Gertrude Smith of Lost in Space UK.

Over time Rob has realized some of these people are off their rocker. A classic example was Robert Lindsay who swore Stalin saved lives. This must be some type of new math that they teach in the public schools.

Now lets get back to busting on Rob. Rob really does watch American Idol and is a big fan of Simon. Maybe one day we should do Beakerkin Troll idol. We can have Warren, Rob and AOW grade trolls.
Word to all aspiring trolls we like our trolls manly and do not repeat yourself.

Robert Bayn said...

Warren, The fingernail thing i could live with, but the water boarding in fat women's bra's was just uncalled for!

Beak, Simon is awesome, anyone who can sit next to Paul Absurd for any amount of time, is deserving of much respect. Besides he is always right, when you think you can sing and you can't, you should be told take a seat, it's unfortunate no one told 167 that being a Jizzhog was not prudent.

beakerkin said...

Rob

One of the funniest moments is when 167 visited and posted under the name 167. The satire had become so sucsessful he started calling himself 167.

He was calling himself GashX last
and Arty Farty. He has disappeared for now, but is the gold standard for stupidity, Gert is close.

The Merry Widow said...

Rob- Leave my undergarments out of it, it's not nice to rummage through a ladies drawers.

tmw

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

I once saw Robert Bayn at a Detroit Lions game cheering for the Tigers.

beakerkin said...

Mr Beamish

Rob does clearly know his sports. He just happens to root for the Detroit Lions who seem to set some type of futility record. I am beginig to think the Raiders will be bad for a longer time. It is one thing to be an awful team and young. However an old an awful team is worse.

Robert Bayn said...

It's easy to ge the tigers and Lions mixed up, there both animals, thankfully the Pistons are not as confusing, although there was that one time i yelled at a football game "i love your tightend" and i got looked at weird, but really the tighend was good.

kuhnkat said...

Beakerkin,

I know what a cyber is, but, what's an "oast"??

TMW,

does Rob wear his funny bone in his nose when he isn't wearing the anchor??

Rob,

where did you graduate and get a degree? It's NUKULAR!!!! The IVY'S are ALWAYS RIGHT. Just ask Kerry!!!

Is that anchor around your neck attached to a chain?? (clank clank clank!!)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

The Raiders are the retirement home of the NFL. They need a new everything.

The Lions will have good draft picks next year, and already have a solid D. A few more O-line changeups and Detroit will be monsters. Get Kitna some better protection and he can be a lethal QB, in my opinion.

nanc said...

i like golf!

Always On Watch said...

As Warren said, Rob is one of the good guys. How can I bring myself to bash him?

Beak,
I understand why you might have neglected to write me into the script. I've not been out and about much lately. Life interferes with blogging!

nanc said...

no thanks, i don't drink early on sunday mornings.

Da Weaz said...

Yeah, now that your little "leaders" have been savaged, you minions go back the the blather that otherwise fills your empty little heads. Investigations will be done, and eventually your heroes will be incarcerated, an even worse fate than the impeachment hearings that the Dems have forgone to focus on capturing the 2008 prize.

Dem House, Dem Senate, but let there be a Dem DOJ head, so that the heads of your criminal minders will roll.

BTW, Beaker, you are truly a goddawful writer.

beakerkin said...

Mr Beamish

In my opinion the Lions are way off. However, they play in a lousy division that makes the Bears look better. The D still needs work.

beakerkin said...

Mr Beamish

In my opinion the Lions are way off. However, they play in a lousy division that makes the Bears look better. The D still needs work.

The Merry Widow said...

Beaker- There is a strange person talking politics at the Rob & Sports Roast! Some people have no sense of fitting behavior!
Rob, may wear his funny bone on his "chin"!
KuhnKat- It's nuqular!

tmw

Robert Bayn said...

I have to agree with Beak, the Lions are way off, and todays Game proved that, ^%$%^%&!!!!!!!!!!

Khunkat, my degree comes from the "Refried Beans for Fine Farts School for the Buttock's"

Elmer's Brother said...

beak...the raiders have a legacy...the lions had Barry Sanders...what do the Cardinals have....but a bunch of losers thanks to Bill Bidwell. Nobody here can stand the guy.

As for Rob well he's always been the gentlemen despite our disagreeing at times. For that I can't fault him. But anyone who goes to a Lions game and roots for the tigers...Hmmmm...

weaz...you're just proving the point that the liberals jackasses have cornered the market on morons

beakerkin said...

Weazie

Lets see a person whose blog is largely cut and paste should be the last person to talk about writing. However, I am still laughing at your fictional conspiracies. It is easy to be comedic when one is mentally disturbed. I know it isn't PC to laugh at the disabled, but if the assylum you live in puts you on the web so be it.

In tribute to Bob Grant and Mark Levin " GET OFF MY SITE, YOU DOPE."
In tribute to Kuhnkat HAHAHAHAHAHA
YOU MORON HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now go build your leggo Gulag and conquer the world in your own delusions. I am not in the mental health profession and am not paid to listen to your delusions.

beakerkin said...

Weazie

Lets see a person whose blog is largely cut and paste should be the last person to talk about writing. However, I am still laughing at your fictional conspiracies. It is easy to be comedic when one is mentally disturbed. I know it isn't PC to laugh at the disabled, but if the assylum you live in puts you on the web so be it.

In tribute to Bob Grant and Mark Levin " GET OFF MY SITE, YOU DOPE."
In tribute to Kuhnkat HAHAHAHAHAHA
YOU MORON HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Now go build your leggo Gulag and conquer the world in your own delusions. I am not in the mental health profession and am not paid to listen to your delusions.

Robert Bayn said...

Beak, i agree with Weaz you are a awful writer, i mean everyone knows only intelligent people have a name with "Da" in it, just Shameful Beak!

Weaz go back where all leftist belong, with your head in the sand.

nanc said...

elbro said:

"weaz...you're just proving the point that the liberals jackasses have cornered the market on morons."

nanc says:

"hell, the liberals invented them!"

to my little sneezle:

why don't you at least try to fit your square arse into this circle like your friend plucky does? start bragging about the artsy fartsy movies you watch and how much money you make instead of trying to "beat the man down" - you would truly make a great addition if you'd just overcome that toilet talk of yours!

sorry rob, but i cannot think of one derogatory thing to say about you, well...except for that one thing...you know...b.h...

Farmer John said...

Sorry I missed most of the roast, rob. I'm only a Lion's fan on Thansgiving Day (a day on which I sympathize w/Turkeys), the rest of the year its' the 49ers (of course, it was once the Rams before the big move) and Ravens/Redskins. Here's to tail-gating (of the drinking variety)!

Robert Bayn said...

As i told my Mentor last night, i'm not so much a Lions Fan, as much as I'am a Lions Victim,

Oh the horror of watching them play!

That's enough to scare a terroist to wear a fat womans pantys.

The Merry Widow said...

ROOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB- I know I need to lose weight, but really! Stay out of my drawer, or, or, or I'll tie a black lace something on your ears!

tmw

The Merry Widow said...

With staples!

tmw

Robert Bayn said...

Please tmw, don't torture me, or i will go to the international court!