Monday, September 20, 2010

Approaching Halloween

I want to caution people of a terrible animal that walks the night called the Werecat.
The werecat is related to werewolves but is less dangerous than than its better known
cousin.

Signs that you may be a were cat

1) Do you have a desire to sleep more than 50% of the day and spend the remainder in pointless meanderings.
2) Do you have odd cravings for hideous foods like liverwurst, salted fish and so forth.
3) Do you spend your waking hours on the sofa
4) Do you go through large amounts of kitty litter without reason.

You may be the dreaded werecat and not even know it.

There is a cure for this disease. Try Dr. Beakerkin's elixir of life

1) Listen to or play any manly aggressive sport and indulge copious amounts of alcohol while doing so. Bowling while drinking is manly watching it on TV dosn't count.
2) Take your car on a drive in the wilds and listen to classic rock and surf music
3) Read Non fiction books and historical fiction books written by people hostile to communism.
4) Remember you are the top of the food chain. Eat the animals that eat the veggies and serve them with appropriate condiments, snack food and beer.
5) When all else fails crack a Mountain Dew and remember tomorrow is another day unless you are dead.

3 comments:

Z said...

LIVERWURST! NO! SOFA? YES!
I don't know about WERE cat...sounds like a HAS BEEN :-)
WHERE did THIS post come from, Beak!! Kinda cute!

Always On Watch said...

LOL!

I love liverwurst! Haven't had any in a while, so I'll put it on the shopping list for next time.

beamish said...

I've got some leftover brats in thr fridge from this past weekend's barbecue here at Chez Beamish.

Made a phenomenal honey, mustard, and Budweiser glaze for them, cooked on crispy St. Louis style.

So good you'd slap your momma.