At work I found myself in trouble for the mess we created at Gitmo. Poultry was no help even though he benefited from nepotism to get a Civil service job.
I found myself up on charges of being a member of a Jewish cabal to control the government, abusing jihadis by feeding them the worst American consumer goods and using a slow motion version of capital punishment. Poultry being a fink claimed it was my idea to show blood thirsty obese jihadis Broke back Mountain and triple the cholesterol content in the buttered popcorn.
Luckily I had a great union defender who saved my job.
Unfortunately, Obama decided to send me back to Gitmo to clean up the mess made by hungry Cubans who raided the place and ate all of our canned ravioli cold and went after the tins of barbecued shredded beef. The folks at the UN declared GITMO a toxic waste dump.
Before I left my buddies at the Babalu blog arranged for my supplies. Little did we know that hungry Cubans would raid the place for food. The folks at Babalu placed anticommunist messages in the bottoms of the canned goods. Before we knew it the people were rising up against Castro so they could get their own canned ravioli.
I was ordered home by an angry Obama for not following instructions. An angry mob of one hundred jihadis and commies were waiting to lynch me for my role in having Castro overthrown.
All looked bleak when the sound of Hava Negilah played surf rock style. The Jihadis and Commies were frozen with fear as a black van arrived on the scene.
Two men jumped out of the van. One looked very familiar as he appeared to be incoherent from
years of steroids abuse blatering about something that sounded like mee mee mi Meep. He grabbed John Brown's jawbone and started beating the commies. The other was clad in an army uniform with a gasmak. The new arrivals made short work of the commies and sped off.
A beaten commie tossed at my feet asked "Who was that gas masked me".
I told him "the Ultimate American patriot".