Thursday, July 06, 2006

The Sad News about Beakerambo

The Pussies of Jihad have captured the beloved symbol of this blog Beakrambo. Beakerambo is beloved by children and many adults. The evil act was carried out by John Bwown the useless idiot of Jihad.

The picture and story of this sad affair is on thavagejuthice.blogspot. Beakerambo was captured in brutal hand to hand combat. He sent many a Marxist to the gulag in the sky and sent plenty of jihadis to meet 72 virgins. His use of the visine jet gun
got the reds out of entrecned positions.

There is some clod imitating John Bwown taking credit. This idiot has a blog with one reader. He had absolutely nothing to do with the capture of Beakerambo. He is a wannabe JIhadi and too stupid to be able to perform the job of useful idiot.

The talking Ann Coulter figure has been kicking Jihadi A%$#$% but has not turned up any clues.

Will Beakerambo be rescued? Will the Iraqis survive a visit from the talking Ann Coulter Doll. Will John Brown stop taking credit for John Bwown's ideas? Will we need to send Leonard Nimoy in search of John Brown's readers. Why does a blog with no readers need to shut its comments?

These questions and more will be answered in the days ahead.

22 comments:

Always On Watch said...

Leonard Nimoy won't be able to search right away. He's scheduled to be here in Virginia tomorrow night, when he will be narrating a concert.

elmers brother said...

I just hope he enjoys writing from a prison cell. Perhaps he could add a few readers while he's there.

(((Thought Criminal))) said...

The Beamish Army is on the case.

Brooke said...

EB: I hear that the black Muslim population is on the rise in prisons. Perhaps he will share a cell with one of these peaceful followers of Mo.

Freedomnow said...

This is indeed bad news.

Please post all details pertaining to the memorial service.

Can I be a pallbearer?

Dan Zaremba said...

Beak,
THis story brough tears of sadness into my eyes.
Rivers.
Poor Beakerambo.

elmers brother said...

I am disheartened by the cruel treatment that Beakerambo is receiving at the hands of our enemies, but encouraged to know that Beakerambo is as brave as they come. There has got to be a way to save him.

beakerkin said...

There is a rumor that John Bwown is going to send his head back in a bowling bag. He was mumbling incoherently about head coffins.

There is a rumor that the Beamish Army is on the way. There is also a bunch of Liberterians who have heard demands about CDs of Brokeback Mountain and Beaches. It seems one of the jihadis is a fan of Beaches. Will the Beamish Army save Rambo? Will Jason Papas of the People Liberterian army trade a war hero for second rate Hollywood films? Will Ducky be creaming no American warriors for second rate entertainment?

Anonymous said...

If Beamish removed his gas mask, would it be revealed that he is really Dr. Bunsen Honeydew?

Dan Zaremba said...

Look, I even thought about sending my pet Tassie Devil to track down the cruel kidnappers and Beakerambo.
The only problem is he likes carrion too much and gets easily distructed that way.

Unknown said...

this means war!!

elmers brother said...

I thought it was about the oil?

The Merry Widow said...

Beak- You forgot protesting at the Pentagon and White House! We mustn't forget to blame the Evil ChimpBusHitlerHaliburtonRoveCheneyDucky Regime! How about a rolling fast, only for 1 meal, get charlie Sheen and Barbara Striesand, we mux\st have them making inane, irrelevant, asinine, Bush Syndrome statements for global distribution. Maybe have Darryl Hannah sit up a tree in protest! The possibilities of protest are endless(ad nauseum)!
Good morning and G*D bless! Even Beakwerambo!

tmw

beakerkin said...

Anon

You must be one of those female fans who yearns for the man in the mask bit. Remember that Mr Beamish in real life does not wear a mask only his avatar did. We had a lengthy discussion about the man in the mask in an interview with Esther.

Felis we need all the help we can get. With the talking Ann Coulter action figure on hand and the Beamish army there will be plenty of carrior.

Drummaster: This nut John Brown who has a blog with no readers keeps trying to take credit for the work of the real John Bwown who has a decent sized blog and serves in an expert capacity of the useless idiot of jihad. Brown is by his own nature a useless idiot but too lazy to be gainfully employed.

kevin said...

Send in the "Bucket 'O Soldiers" from Toy Story, let's roll...

beakerkin said...

Kevin

Now that is a good idea?

I am still optomistic that Jason Papas can free Beakerambo with a release of grade B films. These Jihadis seem to have something in common with Ducky an obsessive desire to watch film.

Ducky offered his copy of Battleship Potemkin but the Jihadis are holding out for Brokeback Mountain, Beaches, Lawrence of Arabia and Revenge of the Nerds part one and Two.

What type of Jihadi watches Beaches anyway? These films may be used to torture future captives. However if this were their intent they would have asked for Shanghai Surprise.

These are odd demands but Liberterians know that even genocidal maniacs need comodities.

nanc said...

i recommend "bicentennial man" as an effective form of torture. we were not the same for months after seeing it. i won't go into details here, but i used to have dark brown hair.

Always On Watch said...

Beakerrambo must be saved! Even if he is beheaded (Perish the tthought!), maybe we can do a head transplant?

Unknown said...

beakenator is a far better avatar [great job beamish] but it is the principle of the thing- we need to get beakerrambo.

Dan Zaremba said...

Plenty of carrion??
Ok Tassie, go ,go ,go.

Just watch out for a redhead separated from its owner, it might be Beakerambo's head - do not devour that one!!

Can someone provide a headcoffin just in case Tassie is tempted?

nanc said...

linkster - i heard somebody recommend a bowling ball bag on another blog for a head coffin. great thinking!

Unknown said...

nanc:

they got that from a 'sopranos' episode