Rumors abound of a horrible creature roaming Essex VT. On nights with a full moon it is rumored that a horrible creature roams the woods. The werechuck was said to roam the woods in Essex. It looks like a Woodchuck on steroids but alas nobody has captured one on film.
I set out last night at 4AM because I could not sleep. I sat near the parking lot when I heard a large scrapping metal sound. I looked into the moonlit night and saw a quick gilmpse of a cat sized creature with glowing fur. The creature lumbered across the the parking lot in circled bumping into objects making a distinct metal sound.
I ran to get my camera hoping to provide all of you with a glimpse of the rare creature. I moved closer and to my surprise the creature seemed oblivious to my presence. Alas I moved to within five feet of the vile creature created of evil and prepared to get my photo and noticed a ringed tail.I looked closer and it appeared that our werechuck was just a racoon that had caught its head in a tin can.
I showed my friend on the security camera and she laughed and told me it was a canned
coon. She bravely walked up to the racoon and pulled the can off with some dificulty. The exausted racoon just laid down in a daze for about five minutes. She told the racoon in a calm voice it is time to go and it lumpered at a slow pace into the fields.
The poor animal had probably lumbered around for dayss in blazing heat with its head caught in a tin can. Obviously, this is the work of far left types like Ducky trying to create a class of welfare forrest creatures. Any animal stupid enough to get its head caught in a Jolly Green Giant can may deserve its fate.