Thursday, February 15, 2007

Meetings with Moonbats

I was having lunch with a fellow ex NYer. We were talking about home and the things we miss like Knishes, hot dog stands, rude cabbies, subway trains, Don Rickles Esque Black Hebrews on 47th and Broadway and the Flatiron Building.

The Black Hebrews are a low rent version of Nation of Islam. They had a public acsess
cable show called the Lions Den. Their routine on the street is the funniest thing in NYC. They insult all types of passers by whie explaining an incoherent conspiracy
theory. The white Jews are evil Kazars who have stolen the culture of the Black Hebrews who are the missing tribes of Israel. The theory has Haitians and Dominicans among many people who are the real chosen people.

I had a coworker who was a member of this cult explain to me the proof of this conspiracy is the J sound in Jooooooo doesn't exist in Hebrew. How this proves that the real Jews were black remains unclear. Certain sounds do not exist in other languages. Thus in Hebrew the letter yud is translated into English with a J. In Hebrew Jerusalem sounds phoeneticaly like Yerushalaim.

Perhaps UI or Jason has run into another of my favorites the hysterical 10%. Most of you think this is bank interest. The 10% is a radical offshoot of the NOI. White men were created by the mad scientist Yacoub to enslave the righteous black people. Only 10% of whom are to be saved. In person they are quite annoying but my comedic wit has made matters worse at times. I was at a party with a friends when a black female coworker asked me to dance. This annoyed the 10% but relieved me. I sat in my chair and resumed a conversation with a frind of mine from Guyana Deonarine or Dino. The outraged 10% finished the dance and told me I was the son of the devil. I assured him my father is an accountant. I have heard Satan described as a lawyer or Musician
but accountant is a new one to me. Dino and some others were in stitches. The Black man is the apex of gods creation and the white man is jealous and needs to opress us. Jealous of what??? (Word combination and euphamism alert) Do you not have eyes the creator has endowed the blackman. I asked how does he know this? Haven't you looked around a lockeroom or X-rated films. I assured him I had no such interest and speculated on why he was so interested in the subject. I was told the whiteman introduced homosexuality because they couldn't compette with Blackmen. I assured the gentleman that a quick look in Soho or the Village indicates many blackmen have opted out as well.

Back to VT. My friend and I were joined by a ditzy hippie chick. She has devoted her life to uncovering the secret of 9-11. The 9-11 attack was caused by Osama being upset with some missle tests that destroyed a mosque. The Israelis knew about the plot and told the Jews to skip work. My friend pointed out I was on hand and must have missed the memo. I asked her if she smoked pot daily and she stormed off. It is amazing how many of these cospiracy nuts there are in VT.

22 comments:

The Merry Widow said...

Sooooooo, that's why you miss NYC! It's the comic relief...bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
I would have been in danger of falling out of my chair in hysterics! Or snorting a hot liquid through my nose...
Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!

tmw

The Merry Widow said...

BTW-An accountant would only fit if he worked for the mafia or the city!

tmw

Mr. Beamish the Kakistocrat said...

Leftists would do well to speak honestly. Something like:

"As leftists, we are appalled and deeply offended that you would would presume that any one of our number is actually capable of rational thought. We have fought this ridiculous notion for over 200 years, and will not stand for another moment of your slandering us with the illusion that leftists have anything relevant to say about anything."

Always On Watch Two said...

Lots of humor in this posting, Beak.

This one, though, really made me say "Whaaaat?":

I was told the whiteman introduced homosexuality because they couldn't compette with Blackmen.

Always On Watch Two said...

Just found this in my morning email. Note signature:

Being a pioneer in genetics I found that Indians (native American) are the most passionate lovers, blacks are the best endowed, Jewish men can last the longest and Europeans can do it the most times.

Sincerely,
Tonto Jarvis Johnathan Rubenstein, Jr.

beakerkin said...

AOW

This is obviously the work of a comedic genius..

The quote about homosexuality is frequently stated. Such activity is a human variable with a possible
genetic component. How anyone can introduce such a practice is odd.

Obviously some blackmen have opted out.

Mr B

Some of the above are just not political. True many far leftists seem out of touch with reality. However who and what the Black Hebrews are is just not translatable. Their mean spirited humor should not be funny, but it is.

TMW

Satan has never been depicted as an accountant. He has been depicted as many things but not accountants.

Some accountants do break the law but they do not carry the stigma of lawyers.

Da Weaz said...

This site for morons isn't shut down yet? This nest of ignorance?

Blogger and Google should get some quality control, as should NASA.

Farmer John said...

Satan is an accountant. His books simply add up to EVIL. ;-)

Urban_Infidel said...

beak,

We've all seen them in the street with their 'white man in sexual gay bondage' billboards and Star Trekkian leather cut-out costumes and head gear, but I thought I was the only one in the world who watched that Black Jewish late night brooklyn cable access show, The Lion's Den. I had completely forgotten the title. I am SO glad you brought this up.

We are talking comedy gold here. These guys rented a half hour on BCAT [brooklyn cable access tv] and rant about the white man and the 'so-called Jews', that one always cracked me up!

One time they had an art history book. One read aloud while the other turned the pages for him. If that wasn't funny enough all by itself, they said that all of Europe was originally black so therefore, the subjects of the great portaits and paintings were black but the book publishers had bleached the photos to make them look lighter. I'm not making this up.

The highlight was watching them stumble over the 'big' words in the text again and again. Really wish it was still on. I miss those guys. They and Jimmy Swaggart had the best tv, bar none.

PS: You can't buy knishes in the street anymore. They got the kabosh from the health department I guess. Miss those too..

beakerkin said...

Farmer John

I do not recall Satan as a farmer.
There are just some vocations that would be odd. Would anyone think
of cabbies or repairman as Satanic.
A NYC cab ride is a religious experiance. Many people thank God they arrived sans a bodycast after
the adventure. Forget Disneyland or Six flags ride the Taxi to JFK.

Weazie

Is it a coincedence that I do a post on Moonbats and the most deranged of them show up. Off to the Finnish mental assylum. Weazie is the ass ithe the word assylum.

beakerkin said...

UI

I am glad you described this. Frankly if someone had told me this I would think it was comedic
exageration.

I had no idea the show was also on in Brooklyn. The Lions Den is the funniest thing on TV. These guys are a riot live on 47th street.

I searched Staten Island Cable and never found the show. Maybe Jason will tell us if they are still on in Manhattan.

No street Knishes blame Bloomburg he's gone too far.

Mr. Beamish the Kakistocrat said...

It's a conspiracy of the man that Black History Month is the shortest month of the year.

We gotta fight the powers that be. ;-P

Urban_Infidel said...

Here's a sampling:

http://andrewprokos.com/photos/new-york/locations/harlem/street-israelites/

http://andrewprokos.com/photos/new-york/locations/harlem/street-people/

These guys heaped so much abuse on passersby, black and white, that its a miracle they didn't get their butts kicked in.

beakerkin said...

I hate to admit it but just listening to the musings and the insults is hysterical. The insults are worse than that of Andrew Dice Clay but they are so funny. I think if they were on Nation TV they would be a huge hit.

Urban_Infidel said...

I saw Dice Clay perform at the Westbury Music Hall in the early 90's..
His audience is both scarier and funnier to watch than he is.

Urban_Infidel said...

Here's another photo. Where DO they get these outfits?

http://images.villagevoice.com/bestof/2003/content-politics.jpg

here's some discussion:
http://www.amnation.com/vfr/archives/000546.html

Mr. Ducky said...

Why don't you damn "ice people" tie a can on it.

beakerkin said...

Ducky

You are going to have to do better than that. Even your buddy John Brown's Vannila Sam bit is better.

Grade d+

Mr. Ducky said...

Catch a gig at the Knitting Factory

Reads like these cats swing.

beakerkin said...

Ducky

Are you going retro on us? One of these days I have to find some Erskine Hawkins CDs. He was a friend of mine when I was in my 20's.

Da Weaz said...

"Weazie is the ass ithe the word assylum."

Perfect example of the ignorance that is this site. Thank you, Beaker Moron, you never cease to amaze.

beakerkin said...

Weazie

I do not read your blog and you can check the site meter. You are a pimple on life's ass and out of touch with reality.

You come here every two weeks with the same lines. Nobody cares what you think as you are irrelevant.

AC was very nice to you. Did you treat him with respect? Then you wonder why people do not visit.
Try acting like a human over at AC's sie. Maybe he will visit, but you bore me.