Saturday, April 15, 2006

What type of house guest is this ?

I pride myself on being a good house guest. I drive my 400 miles and often fall asleep anywhere. I don't care what is served and I help myself to whatever local resturants are in the area.

Everytime I come down Drummaster's uncle from the other side shows up. I am not demanding and super cool. Brian needs special butter, special toilet paper and needs to be shuttled to and fro. Excuse me what type of visitor tells you what dairy products you needs. Hey lard butt, if it is so important to you pick your fat $%$% and get it youurself. I do not mind doing a few errands but I will not cater a spoiled obnoxious buffoon.

This shore leave did not work out so well. Three days of religious holidays in a row drives me up the wall. I am back from boresville and want to cut loose. Religious observances are not high on my list. Rav Roov is a great guy but this is not how I would have spent my shore leave. Had my mother told me Rav Roov was staying for three days I would have come down next week.

What a trip option a boresville with the religious or dealing with the obnoxious high maitenence drama queen. I chose the religious boredom as fussy types get on my nerves. I can just imagine fussbot asking me to fetch Yardley's Lavender soap .

Beamish in 08, Ducky to be smoked and 167 with no readers.


themerrywidow said...

Poor baby, wish we had relatives that wanted us around for holidays! Sorry Beak, but you have a family who wants you, I would put up with boresville just to have contact for my childrens sake. My late husbands half sister(who lives all of 80 miles away) didn't even come to his funeral! Be grateful! Family is a gift, cherish it!
Okay, off the soapbox. It is a long way to go, I probably would have said something I would regret later!
Rest up for Monday!


beakerkin said...

This just in his royal majesty only drinks skim milk. I am not the milkman.

drummaster2001 said...

if i had known that you were coming back, i would have told you the rav was going to be there. hey, at least popeyes was good. i went back with my dad today.

beakerkin said...

Don't rub it in I am eating passover pizza and fish sticks . Well at least Mom could toss that in the oven . I went out and found the Passover Pizza.

At least one of us is eating well .

Always On Watch said...

Maybe you didn't intend this as a humorous posting, but I found myself chuckling when I read it.

But I've had houseguests liek Lardbutt. What a pain in the ass they are! I have no problem meeting the real needs of the elderly, but can't stand whiners who can fend for themselves. Your description is perfect: spoiled obnoxious buffoon.

Guests who demand special soap and special toilet paper (???) need to stay home where they can pamper themselves without interfering with others' lives.

Many of those we visit don't drink coffee. Whenever we visit those in remote and rural areas, we bring our own travel-size Mr. Coffee--or do without the caffeine fix.

Sorry that your "shore leave" wasn't so good, Beak. You deserved a better r&r.

beakerkin said...

I refuse to buy Yardley English Rose Lavender Soap. For the record Rav Roov does not use feminine soap. He uses Ivory and what ever kosher products are available. In fact he takes whatever is not nailed to the floor as long as it is kosher.

nanc said...

aow is chuckling - nanc needs a depends! ODG - i love drama queens as i say, "hey, i stopped powdering butts when all of mine turned two and a half!" i'm half with tmw and half with you, beak. SOME PEOPLE! i haven't seen the majority of my family in nearly seven years. when we have people come to visit they want to go, go, go. my transplantation to the ozarks did not include that. if they want to go, i say, "go, no, really - go."

i believe i'd put up with a few peccadillos, but if it rocked my daily routine boat...well, if you need ANY good comebacks, just let me know - i share, in love.

the merry widow said...

I'll tell you what Beak, come down to Fla., at least the weather will thaw you out. I'm 2 blocks from the beach and my backyard neighbor runs a mean grill. That's where we hung out after the '04 hurricanes when we had no power. He'll even dig out a cold one for you! Got 2 good pizza places, a terrific family owned Greek restaraunt and depending on which direction you go 2 Popeves within 15 miles! You can go tour the Cape or travel to Kissimee for Dizzy World, Orlando for Sea World or 3 hrs. to Tampa for Busch Gardens. # hrs. north for Silver Springs or 21/2 hrs. south to Cypress Gardens! 80 miles north on the coast to Daytona, what a deal!
Family can be uncomfortable, but we can endure . Remember, guests and fish both start to stink after 3 days! And,no I can't see you buying Yardley Rose or Lavender for anyone, except maybe a wife or daughter! Daughter's change everything!
Of course stupid obnoxious buffoon can do like Queen Elizabeth and bring his own toilet seat!
Hope you recover in time for 'Monday'!

Joyous Easter all!

the merry widow said...

#=3. Duh, haven't finished my coffee yet!

Anonymous said...

Fish and Vistors stink in three days--Benjamin Franklin (1736).


MissingLink said...

Perhaps the Lardbutt thinks that making such trips is a terrible sacrifice and showing him a bit of appreciation compensates all this hardship?