Ducky is our official troll and is a cut above our usual pests. We do not like Troll who cry and whine like 167 . Nor is our official troll a one note bore like Anum.
John Brown and Weasie make Ducky and the rest of humanity look sane by comparison.
The Duck has some odd disdain for Renoir that is unusual. I prefer to look at beautiful women drawn in vibrant colors and the Duck prefers Chardin's fruitbowl with dead fish or rabbit etc. Even those whose proclivities are not as conventional as mine would also rather look at a Renior then endure endless fruit and dead game paintings. I am sure Justin or Rob will have a quip over that line.
The Duck is quite the film critic he has seen Red's , Mission to Moscow and every left wing cliche film on record. We have yet to get his version if John Kerry was the actual role model for C3PO.
Now we have a whole series of material to work with but I will point out some themes.
1 Ducky thinks Marxism works so we can safely assume he is into Science fiction and believes Dungeons and Dragons works.
2 Ducky loathes Rand
3 Ducky practices an unnatural alternative lifestyle as a Red Sox fan.
Let the quips fly and do not spare the Duck.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
65 comments:
It's hard not to laugh at Red Sox fans. They had their one World Series win and it will be another 86 years before the next. Meanwhile the Yankees will win at least 15-20 more in that same time period.
How much more "Manny being Manny" is Sports Center going to force upon us?
I thought Ducky would do well smoked, with a nice little Gallo Rose and some tiny crossants. Fruit would be good on the side to cut the tendency to gaminess, how about a nice chunk of Havarti to round it out?
tmw
No, Ducky could not be C3PO, C3PO has to much of a sense of humor and can empathise with others!
tmw
smoked, definitely - i'll bring the big bambu and torch!
Since there's baseball fans here, maybe someone could explain this joke to me:
Q. What do homosexuals and Cardinals fans have in common?
A: They both like poo holes.
Beak,
John Brown and Weasie make Ducky and the rest of humanity look sane by comparison.
So, sanity is relative after all.
What no comment from the Duck on John Kerry's claim to have inspired Apocalypse Now and been the role model for C3PO.
Where is Manny Ortiz or Lambert field ? What about duckys bretheren slain for a photo op so Kerry could look like Elmer Fudd.
i like golf.
beak - is your d.y. alright? he seems of late to be morphing into someone else - he's developed some fire...autonomist.
Albert Pujols is the 1st baseman for the Cardinals. He's arguably the best hitter in the National League. His mane is pronounced "pool-hose"
why would anybody call their hair "pool hose"...???
What's Red Sox (apart from the obvious)?
Kevin,
As part of my religious beliefs, I must pretend to know less about baseball than I actually do in prayer and preparation for the Great Sports Event, an apocalyptic crisis that ends in baseball players from all levels of competition all coming forward and apologizing for claiming to be atheletes.
Missinglink,
The Red Socks are an American major league baseball team.
Rob
You root for the Detroit Lions and they never seem to get anywhere. Other then Barry Sanders who defined class and excellence as a human and an athlette there has been little reason to watch the Lions. I will add the brief career of Billy Sims who was exciting.
The NY Yankees are about results and talent.
Nanc Dr Yeagley has his moments and is fired up on the borders. He has never bought into the view of Mexicans as Indians with a Divine right to reconquer the South West.
Back to Ducky Roasting
The Duck is not to blame for his warped views as he is from the Peoples Republic of MA. Any state that keeps on electing Teddy and John Communist speaks for itself. Ducky was Ted Kennedy's swimming instructor. This was the only job the Duck ever produced results on as America knows Ted can swim.
Ducky's other job as Teddy's driver ed instructor did not go as well.
Duck once told me that Teddy Kennedy is the politician whom he most admires. Maybe Duck was The Swimmer's driving instructor after all. Or maybe Teddy drove off the bridge because he didn't want to hit Duck, who was taking a rest by standing on the bridge during one of his night-flying expeditions.
Stephen King is a rabid fan of the Red Sox. Which of his characters derived from hanging around Duck at Fenway Park? Fans of Stephen King can speculate on that one.
It's "smoked Duck," I think. I recall Beamish's once saying, "Get a breath of fresh air, Duck. Away from the bong."
Ducky was part of an early work of King's that did not get published
Antisemitic Marxist Waterfowl of Cape Cod was rejected as too creepy
but Ducky swears it was ahead of its time.
Ducky was suposed to be an original cast member of Sesame Street. However he was black listed and the job went to big bird.
Original Tape.
Count : One Two
Ducky: Count you are a $^%^&* capatalist &%*^**. Power to the People and Social Justice ......
Oscar: Comunist Poultry I am calling Senator McCarthy
Ducky: Stop hiding in that garbage can you Finkola. When I find you in that mess it is off to the gulag.
Wait I just found the copies of Norman Mailer that nobody ever seems to read. Can we say consipracy ....
Actually if Ducky were a S. King character, I would say someone from "The Stand"! Can anyone say "fire"?
tmw
Ducky hates “dog-eat-dog” capitalism but after communism’s 100 million dead, “dog-kill-dog” socialism makes capitalism look like Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.
Speaking of dogs, Ducky never met an underdog he didn’t like. The powerless can never be held responsible for their actions. Of course, university professors, like Ward Churchill who makes over 100k a year, and rich heirs like Ted Kennedy or gigolos like John Kerry, are all somehow are considered powerless.
Roast Duck? I’m thinking more like pâté … with some favva beans and a little Chianti ... making it more of The Silence of the Ducks ...
Good one, Jason...ROFL!
tmw
bwaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaahahahahaha - silence of the ducks!
Ducky has been accused of many things but being silent is not one of them.
Jason who said the Duck roots for the underdog. He roots for 1.3 billion blood thirsty fanatics with a 1400 year history of Colonialism vs a few odd Jews in Israel.
Ducky thinks the greatest threat to the world is Ayn Rand and a few supporters of Israel. A person who is an advocate of a system that allready killed 100,000,000 has expertise in this area.
Ducky could easily debunk Ayn Rand with a principled reading of Whitaker Chambers, but they haven't issued his works in a pop-up book yet.
Jason,
Do you have an Anthony-Hopkins accent to go with that little feast?
Rob
I am a results oriented person. The Yankees get results always have and always will.
You are 100% correct the Detroit Lions are dreadful. Well at least you got to see Sanders who epitomized class and dignity.
Warren
If you read this Anum is at it again. On her second post down she blames the Jews for 9-11 . Will this woman ever stick to one story ?
Ducky owns the Bill Clinton pop up book but it is just not in good taste .
One day, several years ago, the Duck was feeling poorly. So when aspirins and Pepto didn’t work, he decided to visit his doctor. So he walked in to the doctor’s office and removed his silly looking hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor looked up and noting the frog asked, “What’s this all about?”
And the frog said, I don’t know doc . . . it all started as a hemorrhoid.
now that 'stangs!
Although the Red Soxs are getting their ass kicked today and the Yankees are getting more than their share of revenge on the Os, he has the upper-hand in this battle. The Soxs are in first place and the Yanks are starting off having what would be a bad season even for the Mets.
History doesn't mean a thing when you are reduced to battling the pathetic Devil Rays for last place.
I have to admit though, Mr. B's Pop-up book comment is the roast of the year.
"Tie a can on it, American Crusader. Manny just hit a pair today in Toronto and the Spankees are trailing the O's in the 7th."
Red Sox lose 7-6 in the 12
Today's results:
Red Sox lose 8-1 it to Toronto,
Yankees win 6-1
freedomnow, Yankees are off to a better start this year than last year when they won the division.
Baseball is a marathon not a sprint
Warren,
Thank you.
Not a very sporty name for a sporting team.
not to worry, linkster - you should hear some of the other names - at least golfers get to use their OWN names!
Ducky
Let me stop laughing at this one are you claiming Ted Kenedy is the victim of Chapaquidick. Excuse me Ducky but the man belonged in jail . The voters from MA have given this clod a free ride for this bufoon for years. JFK and RFK were not pushovers on Communism either.
Marx is a discredited philosopher whose practical applications have resulted in piles of bodies. The latest bit is Hugo " Pineapple" Chavez blaming rising crime in Venezuela on Capitalist tendencies.
All we get from the left is excuses and dead bodies.
Maybe I chose the wrong smoking! Wrap a few aged banana leaves around him and light up.
tmw
Marx was an idiot. Him and Engels both.
you cannot kid with leftists. in the first place they're missing a very important bone - the funny bone. while built into all good people, the left while having an extra gene or three are missing this very important bone.
As an economist Marx was a failure. His prediction of the demise of capitalism: wrong. His theory that communism would come about after going through the capitalistic stage: wrong. His labor theory of value: crude rehash of the mistakes of classical economists. His determinism and dialectical materialism: in the dust bin of history. Marx claim to avoid utopian socialism and invent a scientific socialism: laughable. Marx was the first example of junk science.
C’mon Ducky, it’s time you outgrew this silly leftist adolescent stuff. In your heart you know we’re right. Admit it!
Sorry folks, I just can't get into the spirit of this roast. A lot of you all don't know this, but mr. ducky is both my best friend and is also my soul mate. You can tell he's my best friend, because he spends many of his days and nights pointing out my many mistakes and weaknesses to me, pro bono I might add (like any good philanthropist and socialist).
I kinda think of our relationship as my being a kind of ballet student, with him being my stern ballet instructor. "Hold your arms higher, Farmer!, he's always telling me. "Stay on point! Mind your balance, Farmer!" And when I spin off point, he waddles over with those big webbed feet of his and kicks me with his heel.
Now many of you accuse the duck of not being a very good dance instructor (as if the Bolshoi wasn't a very good dance company just because they had some financial difficulties in the late eighties) and judging by some of MY performances, you might be right. But I've also watched him dance rings around many of you. Of course, most of you dance like Ginger Rogers, always moving backwards and in high heels, and so I suspect you're not concentrating very hard on HIS footwork, just your own. But from my perspective, it really is quite impressive, especially considering those large webbed feet of his, and the fact that his heels have developed bone spurs from his having kicked me so many times with them.
Bit I digress.
I think I may have also intimated that mr. ducky was my soul mate. I guess I should attempt to explain this a little better.
You see, mr. ducky and I were twins at birth. Our lovey mother Thetis was not a very loving or attentive woman, and neglected our education. We used to play by the river Styx as kids. Well, as Auntie Fate would have things, one day, I fell in, and mr. ducky saved my life by reaching out one of his rather short leg (ducks don't have arms folks!) and allowing me to grab hold. Now as my Auntie would have it, his heel got all wet, and he afterwards caught a fever which he almost died from. And of course, my being a salt-water creature like my grandpa Nereus and not a fresh water loving one like Mom and the duck meant I would be perfectly fine. But I'll never forget how he risked his life for me that day, and how much I owe my life to him.
I know I've never told you this, but thank you mr. ducky. Thank you for caring so much for me, teaching me how to dance, and continuing to give me the education that our mother neglected to attend to. I know I can't make it on my own, but with you by my side, I think I may have a fighting chance.
And speaking of fighting chances, have you heard anything from the plains of Ilium regading the fate of our dear muscle-bound brother? I hear Paris has gunning for him ever since that little incident w/Hector and the chariot.
Many of you aren't aware of mr. ducky and my shared amnesia problem (seems whatever he remembers, I forget, and whatever he forgets I remember). mr. ducky is always claiming to be Auntie Themis' daughter, but I can assure you that this is not correct. As much as mr. ducky loves our mother, he just can't seem to remember who she is (it's a leftover problem from that river incident). And so he's always going on in a fevered rambling about Auntie Themis, claiming to be her spokesman. When he does this, don't blame him. Simply remind him of who is true mother was, and of how like we both are to Grandpa Nereus and Uncle Proteus.
ps - I think those fine Corcyrean wings I bought for you are due to arrive in a few weeks (around the 1st of May), so I'd work on shaving the bunions off that bone spur, if I were you mr. ducky. I plan on chasing you around Cloud Cuckoo Land with them later, flapping them just as HARD as I can!
-FJ
Sorry folks, I just can't get into the spirit of this roast. A lot of you all don't know this, but mr. ducky is both my best friend and is also my soul mate. You can tell he's my best friend, because he spends many of his days and nights pointing out my many mistakes and weaknesses to me, pro bono I might add (like any good philanthropist and socialist).
I kinda think of our relationship as my being a kind of ballet student, with him being my stern ballet instructor. "Hold your arms higher, Farmer!, he's always telling me. "Stay on point! Mind your balance, Farmer!" And when I spin off point, he waddles over with those big webbed feet of his and kicks me with his heel.
Now many of you accuse the duck of not being a very good dance instructor (as if the Bolshoi wasn't a very good dance company just because they had some financial difficulties in the late eighties) and judging by some of MY performances, you might be right. But I've also watched him dance rings around many of you. Of course, most of you dance like Ginger Rogers, always moving backwards and in high heels, and so I suspect you're not concentrating very hard on HIS footwork, just your own. But from my perspective, it really is quite impressive, especially considering those large webbed feet of his, and the fact that his heels have developed bone spurs from his having kicked me so many times with them.
Bit I digress.
I think I may have also intimated that mr. ducky was my soul mate. I guess I should attempt to explain this a little better.
You see, mr. ducky and I were twins at birth. Our lovey mother Thetis was not a very loving or attentive woman, and neglected our education. We used to play by the river Styx as kids. Well, as Auntie Fate would have things, one day, I fell in, and mr. ducky saved my life by reaching out one of his rather short leg (ducks don't have arms folks!) and allowing me to grab hold. Now as my Auntie would have it, his heel got all wet, and he afterwards caught a fever which he almost died from. And of course, my being a salt-water creature like my grandpa Nereus and not a fresh water loving one like Mom and the duck meant I would be perfectly fine. But I'll never forget how he risked his life for me that day, and how much I owe my life to him.
I know I've never told you this, but thank you mr. ducky. Thank you for caring so much for me, teaching me how to dance, and continuing to give me the education that our mother neglected to attend to. I know I can't make it on my own, but with you by my side, I think I may have a fighting chance.
And speaking of fighting chances, have you heard anything from the plains of Ilium regading the fate of our dear muscle-bound brother? I hear Paris has gunning for him ever since that little incident w/Hector and the chariot.
Many of you aren't aware of mr. ducky and my shared amnesia problem (seems whatever he remembers, I forget, and whatever he forgets I remember). mr. ducky is always claiming to be Auntie Themis' daughter, but I can assure you that this is not correct. As much as mr. ducky loves our mother, he just can't seem to remember who she is (it's a leftover problem from that river incident). And so he's always going on in a fevered rambling about Auntie Themis, claiming to be her spokesman. When he does this, don't blame him. Simply remind him of who is true mother was, and of how like we both are to Grandpa Nereus and Uncle Proteus.
ps - I think those fine Corcyrean wings I bought for you are due to arrive in a few weeks (around the 1st of May), so I'd work on shaving the bunions off that bone spur, if I were you mr. ducky. I plan on chasing you around Cloud Cuckoo Land with them later, flapping them just as HARD as I can!
-FJ
Ooops. Sorry for the double!
-FJ
just goez to show - sometimes a single won't do.
does that mean he has a duckilles heel?
The Duck, is without a doubt, a boil on the ass of the proletariat. How such a misanthrope could ever think that he represents anything except his nekulturny Cossack ancestors experiments in beastiality is beyond me.
I'm designing an avatar for the Duck. My dog inspired me when it threw up.
Isn't it amazing, Nanc is right. Leftists don't have a sense of humor, except when putting down Christians, Jews, conservatives, the military, police, gun owners, etcetera... But for themselves, none! It must be congenital, no other explaination. Maybe we could start a Center for the Congenitally Humorless, we could name it after Plucked Duck! Wouldn't that be nice?
Warren- The avatar could include Ducky's favorite kind of art, you know fruit and dead plucked duck!
tmw
"True, it is a fixed idea with the French that the Rhine is their property, but to this arrogant demand the only reply worthy of the German nation is Arndt's: "Give back Alsace and Lorraine". For I am of the opinion, perhaps in contrast to many whose standpoint I share in other respects, that the reconquest of the German-speaking left bank of the Rhine is a matter of national honour, and that the Germanisation of a disloyal Holland and of Belgium is a political necessity for us. Shall we let the German nationality be completely suppressed in these countries, while the Slavs are rising ever more powerfully in the East?"
A Hitler quote? Nope, that was Friedrich Engels in 1841.
"This is our calling, that we shall become the templars of this Grail, gird the sword round our loins for its sake and stake our lives joyfully in the last, holy war which will be followed by the thousand-year reign of freedom."
Oooh! Templars! the Grail! A war for a Thousand Year Reign! That's gotta be a Hitler quote.
Nope, that was Friedrich Engels also.
"We are trying to break with the theological formulation of the question. For us, the question of the Jew’s capacity for emancipation becomes the question: What particular social element has to be overcome in order to abolish Judaism? For the present-day Jew’s capacity for emancipation is the relation of Judaism to the emancipation of the modern world. This relation necessarily results from the special position of Judaism in the contemporary enslaved world. Let us consider the actual, worldly Jew – not the Sabbath Jew, as Bauer does, but the everyday Jew. Let us not look for the secret of the Jew in his religion, but let us look for the secret of his religion in the real Jew. What is the secular basis of Judaism? Practical need, self-interest. What is the worldly religion of the Jew? Huckstering. What is his worldly God? Money.
Very well then! Emancipation from huckstering and money, consequently from practical, real Judaism, would be the self-emancipation of our time. An organization of society which would abolish the preconditions for huckstering, and therefore the possibility of huckstering, would make the Jew impossible. His religious consciousness would be dissipated like a thin haze in the real, vital air of society. On the other hand, if the Jew recognizes that this practical nature of his is futile and works to abolish it, he extricates himself from his previous development and works for human emancipation as such and turns against the supreme practical expression of human self-estrangement. We recognize in Judaism, therefore, a general anti-social element of the present time, an element which through historical development – to which in this harmful respect the Jews have zealously contributed – has been brought to its present high level, at which it must necessarily begin to disintegrate.
In the final analysis, the emancipation of the Jews is the emancipation of mankind from Judaism."
Plain-spoken anti-Semitism conjuring up a conspiracy theory of Jews controlling the world and a need to destroy Judaism to "free the world." That's Hitler, right?
Nope. That's Karl Marx, in 1843.
"We are socialists, we are enemies of today's capitalistic economic system for the exploitation of the economically weak, with its unfair salaries, with its unseemly evaluation of a human being according to wealth and property instead of responsibility and performance, and we are all determined to destroy this system under all conditions."
Well that's either Marx or Engels, right?
Nope. That was Hitler, in 1927.
Ain't no way around it, Ducky. The Nazis were LEFTISTS.
TMW, Marxists "are" congenitally humorless and fail to realize that they are the brunt of a cosmic joke.
They primp and parade around with their cookie cutter attitudes and like to pretend they are intellectually superior. What passes for "humor" among them is actually viciousness.
Did you notice the little exchange between the taker of mice, (weasel), and the sifter of bugs and mud? How about the unwarranted attack on the Bum?
I especially like the way that commies try to pretend and convince the rest of us that they are cultured. They're absolutely obsessed with it. From the still life pieces that the bug eater likes to the sterile Bolshoi performances and the souless "Chinese Opera" in the PRC, we see this crap shoved forward as culture when in reality it represents culture as much as the 10,000 th performance of "Death of a Salesman", represents originality.
Imagine living your life surrounded by disfunctional anal retentive people whom the only thing you share is anal retentiveness and misanthropy masquerading as social consciousness plus a unique ability to twist reality and mental myopia that couldn't be corrected with a figurative Mount Palomar observatory.
And those are Ducky's good points!
Mount Palomar, the Hale Telescope? LOL! I woulda gone with the Keck, or the new SALT reflecting telescope.
You crack me up warren. I love to watch a man do the Samba no pe elements of a Samba axe in a favela to some good ole Bossa Nova records.
from Wiki...
Bossa nova means "new bossa". However, the word "bossa", itself, was often used by musicians prior to the "Chega De Saudade" recording. In Brazil, when someone does anything with "bossa" (com bossa), it meant (and still does) that the "something" is performed with particular charm and "gusto".... In 1932, Noel Rosa used the word in a samba...which went O samba, a prontidão e outras bossas/São nossas coisas, são coisas nossas (Samba, empty pockets and other bossas/Are our specialities."
-FJ
Warren- I've known it all my life! I was born conservative. My point was Ducky can't get it through his bill that this was a roast and everyone was supposed to laugh, especially Ducky! And he never "got" it! I think that is hilarious and pathetic! Personally I like Monet, Rembrant, real life or Impressionistic. I think the world(fallen as it is) is beautiful with wonder and joy. I also don't think life is as serious as Ducky who can't even recognize a compliment in a joke! I only tease those I love and respect! Give me life, but don't give me Ducky!
tmw
beamish,
You're looking pretty sprightly today, all dressed in your Landhausmode tracht. I never saw one waltz in them before.
-FJ
Warren- O.T. But I still couldn't post a comment yesterday on your site. Just kept giving me little yellow triangles! Tried preview several times, I wonder if my computer isn't sending the verification right? I'm a frustrated natterer! But do enjoy your posts.
tmw
FJ,
The Hale, most certainly. I was trying to use an example that the bug eater might understand. I figured that there was a 50/50 chance he might know what the Mount Palomar observatory was, never heard of the Hale telescope and would think that Keck was a misspelling of heck.
btw, thanks for the link to SALT, I hadn't heard of it. (interesting!)
TMW, I was pointing out that not only does the bug eater "not get it"; since his head is made of collapsed matter and impenetrable to everything except cosmic rays, he is incapable of getting it.
That's why I didn't chime it until he showed his big red butt. Even left hand complements ring too close to reality for him to provide a proper subject for a roast.
TMW, clean out your cookies and cache then try again.
HERE"S HOW
I turned off verification.
Great. I show up to roast the Duck since he pranced onto my blog to deny that Hitler was a leftist, and FJ makes fun of my lederhosen.
holy cow, warren! first the "b" word, now cleaning cookies - what's next - a complete back-up?
Hey, all to better plainly see whether your ankles are neat and/ or trim and whether you are a silver-shod son of Thetis like me and the red-duque (Hesiod, "Theogony")....
(ll. 1003-1007) But of the daughters of Nereus, the Old man of the Sea, Psamathe the fair goddess, was loved by Aeacus through golden Aphrodite and bare Phocus. And the silver-shod goddess Thetis was subject to Peleus and brought forth lion-hearted Achilles, the destroyer of men.... and twins born of a single soul, one farmer, one fowl.
Great gams, btw. You don't do that "step-workout", do you?
-FJ
Okay, I got in! Hurray! Will I have to do that every time? At least I will remember if I do!
Thanks bunches!
tmw
Nanc said,
" holy cow, warren! first the "b" word, now cleaning cookies - what's next - a complete back-up?"
No we're going straight for the hard core stuff! Defrags and upgrades!
TMW, I answered your question on my blog, You're welcome.
:^)
i just defragged last week...no upgrades - PLEEEEEZE - i'm still trying to catch up with this one!
Duck didn't seem to get into the spirit of the roast. And he accuses us of having no sense of humor???
Just a little distortion of the truth there ducky...I've noticed your thoughts on Adam Smith were completely off target. I am sure that your probably more on target with Marxist theory...no surprise...
Did Fountainhead go over your head?
Laissez-faire capitalism not in your vocabulary?
a.c. said, "Did Fountainhead go over your head?" hehehe - i'm thinking of the last shot in the movie! howard roark plucky ain't.
p.s. golf is great.
Post a Comment