Sunday, April 16, 2006

This trip bites the big one.

I do not like religious holidays and I do not care for drama queens. Every time I come in the drama queen shows up. So I stay by my parents and Get three days of religious tedium and whiny kids tossed at me. This was not my ideal vacation and had my mother told me that Rav Roov was visiting for three days no big deal I'll come the next week or stay by Drummaster. However every time I come in the drama queen shows up.

Now I am returning for Memorial day and I decided to have my own absurd list.

1 Preparation H incase the drama quen shows up
2 Sand paper toilet paper
3 Buttermilk . Skim milk is an insult
4 A chainsaw to shave with
5 Any cheap alcohol with a halucinagen .

Knowing my luck the drama queen will find a pretense to show up yet again and irritate me yet again. When there is a wedding Brian wants to be the bride. I am sure at the next funeral he will want to be the corpse as well. I am sure that Brian will go to the Sea World and jump into the tank and perform but he needs albacore.

I will have to remind my parents the next time I come down to remind me if Rav Roov if visiting. I can survive a one day religious holiday but three days.

Well at least I can go back to St Albans and get some peace and quiet in a bar figt or the train yard. I allready told Drummaster's Mom the next visit will be birthday 40. The drama queens gift is to stay at home.

Watch on my next trip Rav Roov will arrive 30 seconds before the sabath. The kids will wake me up at five AM and when I go to my sisters for some peace and quiet stinky will come in with his laundry list. I am not a gopher and even with a shot gun I am not buying Yardley English Rose Soap, Charmin Ultra, Women's deoderant or
salted butter.

Now I need to go back to work and get some vacation from this vacation.

Does this happen to anyone else ?

Beamish in 08, Ducky to the state fair and 167 still a ratings zero.

19 comments:

Always On Watch said...

Guests like drama queen need to be discouraged from visiting. Step One is not pandering to the demands. Make the drama queen rough it.

But I warn you: discouraging this kind of guest is nearly an impossibility.

This post and your previous one make me think of The Odd Couple. LOL.

Justin said...

Beak, unfortunately into every life God has given at least one Drama Queen. It makes us stronger (if we survive with out commiting mayhem and murder) Good luck, Happy Vaction from your vacation.

nanc said...

one good way to be rid of prissy people is to feed a household animal off your plate with YOUR utensil - and when done eating, put ALL the dishes on the floor for the dogs to clean before you put them in the dishwasher. this keeps me away from a number of places!

and would you like some cheese and crackers to go with that whine?

Warren said...

My inlaws used to invite themselves over for the day, every Sunday. They would show up about 9 AM and stay until after 7PM.

My mother-in-law, Annie, (she of the double wide ass) would go through everything and eat everything that didn't eat her first. The whole time she whined and complained about how "ill" see felt. My farther-in-law, (one eyed Jack), constantly demanded to be entertained.

They also had three teenage kids that constantly fought and bickered over the TV.

I didn't say anything for a couple of months. Being freshly married, I didn't want inlaw trouble but it became apparent, that if I was going to keep my sanity, I would have to put a stop to it.

It got pretty nasty but it ended when Jack threatened me, (really bad move), and I told him that if he ever threatened me again I would gut him like a fish.

Let me say, it took quite a lot for me to get to that point and to this day, only one of my wife's brothers will have anything to do with her. Her parents are dead and I could write a book about her family that no one would believe.

the merry widow said...

Warren- Did you ever try to not be there when they arrived? Sounds like a bunch of spoiled moochers!
Beaker-Into every life a little whine must fall! Maybe I am fortunate to be able to pick my family from my church! My Sunday school class is more like family than some I've met!
nanc- Good trick! Letting the bird eat peas off your plate works too! That was when I was younger, but I'm sure it would still work! The only reason I don't do it is because Caleb would want a place at the table! Yours!

tmw

nanc said...

warren said,

"My mother-in-law, Annie, (she of the double wide ass) would go through everything and eat everything that didn't eat her first. The whole time she whined and complained about how "ill" see felt. My farther-in-law, (one eyed Jack), constantly demanded to be entertained."

nanc inquired,

"did she come with her own pilot car?"

Warren said...

The merry widow said:
"Warren- Did you ever try to not be there when they arrived?"

Yes, they would hang around until someone came home. They were professional moochers that used their kids for sympathy.

btw TMW, could you use an avatar?

Nanc, pilot and chase! She couldn't set in an armchair. She had a "nerve" problem and the doctor, (witch doctor I think), said she was too sick to go on a diet. (rolls eyes) Most of the time, even when she was here, she laid in a bed and slept. She always managed to wake up for a meal and remain awake until all the food was gone.

Jack only had one eye and refused to keep his glass eye clean. He insisted on buying glass eyes that were the wrong color and would roll that glass eye around to stare at you when he was pissed. I'm sure he practiced that maneuver for hours in the mirror.

He was always playing intimidation games but he picked the wrong "playmate" when he choose me.

Once, Jack and Annie borrowed $200 from my wife to pay the rent, (the rent was $200 a month), got the landlord to forgive them a months rent, and never paid my wife back. What's worse is, I found out that he had also borrowed $200 from his oldest son and $200 from his brother, all with the same story. He and Annie skipped town for two weeks and left the teenagers to take care of themselves and returned flat broke.

They did things so despicable that I won't even talk about them and I could still write a 1500 page novel.

I forgive Jack and Helen for what they did to me, I do not hold them bound. But you can rest assured that they are both stoking the furnaces of hell.

the merry widow said...

I'd love one, I'd also be honored to be the recipient of your talent! Thank you!
I don't understand people like that, how can anyone look themselves in the mirror after acting that way is beyond where my thinking can go! You sound like a the type of person we could use more of, not killing (or at least applying an iron skillet) any of them is amazing! The fact that you are still married says a lot about your not holding them against her and she appears to have dug deeper into her heritage to not be like them! WOW, says good things about both of you!
My family problems on my side deal with the fact that I was adopted, so I was never "one of them!" On Ben's side we got serious about G*D and they wanted no part of him or myself and the only grandchildren on either side! Maybe I got the better deal! At least my friends from church have reached out and become family, they tend to be better adjusted!
I have found that sometimes G*D gives us the families we have so we have no choice but to turn to HIM!
I'm hopeful your side was more healthy, mentally at least!
Tell you what, you get an idea throw it out and we'll bat it around.
Thanks again!

tmw

Always On Watch said...

Warren,
It got pretty nasty but it ended when Jack threatened me, (really bad move), and I told him that if he ever threatened me again I would gut him like a fish.

That settled the matter, I'm sure!

Always On Watch said...

I can't wait to see TMW's avatar! Warren is doing all of us a great service.

nanc said...

yes indeed, but r.m. at autonomist has made fun of mine having too much make-up! i settled the score on the old fart, though. nobody tells nanc what to do! i'll pluck him like so many chickens - oh, he'll be so sorry he messed with me...sure hope he doesn't see this...

the merry widow said...

How could he not like your avatar? It's a work of art with much thought going into it! r.m. has no taste! Besides, I think he's probably jealous that he doesn't have a Warren avatar! So there!

tmw

nanc said...

are you gettin' one, tmw?

the merry widow said...

nanc- Told Warren to throw out some ideas and we can bat them around. Should be fun, I wonder how I come across sometimes. Wack, deep, out of touch, off topic, on target or just plain weird? Will I hold my head up or slink into the nearest mole hole? Inquiring minds want to know!

tmw

nanc said...

perhaps an avatar like mine? i usually make my statement on the subject matter and then go O.T. it's fair game then - for me - i don't know about the rest of y'all!

MissingLink said...

When there is a wedding Brian wants to be the bride.

Oh Beak I know the type!!!
They get really stroppy and green with envy even at family funerals.

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