Thursday, April 06, 2006

A dubious honor and random humor

Some of our blogs have been linked by Anum Muhktar. I do think Anum has a right to spread her message. We also have a right to present our view of Islam that disagrees with Anum. Anum has a blog that provides a good understanding of what we are dealing with.

In Anums world Justin and Rob would be stoned to death. Their crimes is just living differently then Allah deems fit. The fact that Justin is a loving father and veteran or that Rob is a decent person is irrelevant. Allah is merciful but both Justin and Rob must die for living their lives. This notion that man should mete out punishment over a private matter is abhorent.

The Mad Zionist, Drummaster, Esther and myself would face beheading for supporting Israel and being Jews. All of you Christians might be permited to live so long as you turn in your weapons, cars and wear special clothing so you can be identified for beatings. You may have to give up 1/5 of your children to form the new Jannisary Corps.

No doubt people like Mr Beamish who like to drink a beer after work and listen to Satan's Music ( Heavy metal ) are in for Allah's mercy. Jason and Felis might face heresy charges for reading the Koran in a less then flattering manner.

In other news Front Page Magazine has a picture of a Mr Beamish campaign rally. They posted the wrong story about WMD's with the picture. Beamishism is causing stores to run out of children's gas masks. There are even dark rumors that familiar corporate logo's may join Team Beamish. You could see the Pilsbury Dough Boy, the Keebler Elves and Count Chocula wearing the Beamish Gas Mask soon. The Michelin man was rejected as New Algerian logos are not acceptable to team Beamish.

In other news I would like to host another Blog Roast for tommorow. Lets hear who you want to see roasted Dean Martin style. I have been roasted allready so I am not a candidate.

Mr Beamish in 08, Ducky to join the Janisaries and 167 Irelevant.

39 comments:

Always On Watch said...

I have already been declared a blasphemer of allah. My new mantra, courtesy of Cubed's wit, is "Go ye forth and collect fatwas." I've added this mantra to my email signatures.

I still don't understand how Beamish and Jason have escaped the condemnation I received.

Beak,
I loved the Dean Martin Roasts, and I've even been to Steubenville, Ohio, for Dean Martin Day. I'll volunteer to be roasted. I don't want to seem pushy; I was the first to be interviewed. But my spring break begins on Saturday, so I'm available.

Justin said...

Beak,
In my world (if they would let me reinstate it) Anum would face one of two secnarios.

1. She would be defrocked staked out over a giant black ant bed (these are mostly found in the Yucatan Penisula) be give a bath in sweet honey. The following morning the cream colored bones would be collected and sent to the great mullahs of Iran minus the head.

or scenario number 2.

2. She would be stripped staked out on the ground and her eye lids cut off so she could not close them. I would not want to deny her the view of the glorious Sun as it passes through the sky.
A merciful and benevolent diamond back rattler would be staked so if she turned her head to the right he would be able to strike. Her rotting body would be left for the desert rats to enjoy. What better sacrifice could she ask for.

I would say we would throw her in the volcano to appease the Fire God but you know he only accepts beautiful young virgin Indian girls.

Not Ugly old hags that have to cover themselves from head to toe or hold a gun on themselves while they shave their mustaches and chin beards. I fear the God of Fire would take great offense and reak havoc on us if we threw her in.

beakerkin said...

Justin you might get a fatwa twice
from Anum. Being Gay gets you one death penalty but any use of pagan rituals gets another.

I wish people would leave capital punishment for the worst criminals and traitors.

We will host a roast for Always on the Watch over the weekend. Our special guest is all of you . Bring your humor and mirth as we salute a special blogger.

Mr. Ducky said...

I'll bring a salute all right.

beakerkin said...

Ducky

A roast is in good taste and fun.

Jason_Pappas said...

I still haven't gotten my fatwa!

I’ve noticed that most Muslims don’t actually read for content. Although I get 50% of my traffic from google and yahoo search engines, it is very rare for me to get a critical message except from Ducky. I think Muslims ignore my site because I don’t have pictures. Even my Let's Burn the Koran gets little response. The only time I get nasty remarks from a Muslim writer is when someone who calls herself cindysexy plasters a link my article, Mohammad’s ethnic cleansing of Medina, all over public boards.

But I still haven’t caught the attention of the fatwa-type of Muslim. I’ve had some moderate nominal Muslims who are pained by what I say. But the few devout jihadists who've posted harsh remarks are all converts here in the States.

I think Cubed is right, only cartoons catch their attention. Logical argument mystifies them.

American Crusader said...

I just checked out our favorite blogger. I actually feel honored that she decided to include me in her blogroll.
Must have been something I said.

beakerkin said...

Jason

You were nominated by a Muslim group for a Brass Donkey. I spend most of my time on the left so Anum gives me a greater honor then I deserve. I should not at the top of the list.

Anum does inspire heated responsesand is welcome here. However, I wish she could understand what a roast is.

Mr Beamish has demanded a recount.

How did Anum miss Felis ????????

beakerkin said...

AC

I figured you would be at the top as Anum is fond of your blog. She has only recently visited Always on the Watch.

I do not understand her selections.

Kevin ???? Eyes ????

The selection of Woman Honor Thyself is interesting.

How did she miss Jason and Felis ?

Jason_Pappas said...

Perhaps it's hard for her to see with the mental burka that she wears.

She actually thinks Fidel Castro is about to become a Muslim. Of course, being a communist he's half way there with a totalitarian rule-based society and a dogmatic authoritarian mentality. And his warrior like ideology could give Mohammad a run for his money. And now that he doesn't have that $1 billion a year from the USSR he may need an oil-rich uncle. But it is still a stretch.

beakerkin said...

Jason

I was floored when she listed Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro as potential Muslim converts. Muslims allready have enough bad PR without adding two despots.

Warren caught the worst one where she blamed the Jews for 9-11. She then denied the quote or forgot. Obviously she must think that I was left out of the loop on 9-11.

Always On Watch said...

Beak,
We will host a roast for Always on the Watch over the weekend.

Okay!

beakerkin said...

AOW

I could not get Mr Beamish to wear a Tux.

Have you seen the picture of the Mr Beamish rally on today's Front Page Magazine ?

nanc said...

oh great, a roast for aow - what are we supposed to say? nice yard?

Justin said...

Beak, scratching head did you say bring my humor or rumor?

nanc said...

beak - nice touch at weazl's after what he did to mahdi yesterday - creepy i tell you.

i thought beamish WAS wearing a tux!

beakerkin said...

Justin

Bring your sense of humor because we are doing a Dean Martin style cyber roast for Always on the Watch.

Psst you forgot to give me a zinger
on my roast but the thread is still
on the board. It is good natured fun and every two weeks on the weekend we will have a new guest of honor.

bum from jersey said...

All of you Christians might be permited to live so long as you turn in your weapons, cars and wear special clothing so you can be identified for beatings. You may have to give up 1/5 of your children to form the new Jannisary Corps.

Scary yet funny. Good post beak.

beakerkin said...

Bum

Someday you have to sit in the hot seat for an interview. I did interview the Chemist and it came out interesting.

I will see if we can get Rob to sit for an interview. He is far to the left and very funny.

I wonder if the Chemist knew the Free Radicals questions were jokes.

Mustang said...

Among the shortest books ever written, "Tolerance in the Muslim World". Yeah, Muslims are a fun bunch of folks, alright. While we celebrate human dignity and uplift the human spirit and family cohesion, they stone their women. Bastards.

beakerkin said...

Mustang

I do not know if you have seen Anum's blog or her interview. She just believes in a total division from the US. She also sees the dhimmi laws as just.

I still have yet to hear a single American praise Jim Crowe or the treatment of Native Americans. At a certain point the denial of the brutal treatment of minorities Gays and Women under Muslim rule is almost akin a PC Holocaust denial.

Always On Watch said...

Beak,
I thought you were kidding about Beamish's picture being at FPM. I just visited there. LOL.

Beamish in '08!

Always On Watch said...

Mustang,
they stone their women. Bastards.

Not to mention genital mutilation.

MissingLink said...

Beak,
According to the Qur'an there is no difference between the way both Jews and Christians should be treated.
The most important here is sura 9.
(please remember the Quran was not compiled chronologically but according to the length of suras and so Sura 9 was revealed during the Medina period).
To summurize:
1. All people of the book are to fry in hell.
2. All people of the book MAY be tolerated until Allah decides otherwise.
3. When this happen all should be killed without mercy for one way or another "for them is the painful doom". ;-)

Freedomnow said...

This Anum thing just gets more and more interesting. Beak, your friends are really weird...

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

I usually don't drink a beer after work. I'm not much of a drinker.

But I still haven't recieved my fatwa. I'm kinda upset about that.

Justin said...

Dear Mr. Beamish

We at Fatwa United Central want to inform you that we did receive a request for a fatwa against you by the most illustrious Anum "May Allah be her guide".

However Mr. Beamish, we do have some concerns in our ability to carry out this great fatwa "Allah be praised."

As I am sure you are aware Mr. Beamish, we at Fatwa United Central are processing many, many fatwa's sent in by our "glorious soldiers of Muhamed" "May Allah protect their minds and hearts". We are working to move your fatwa up as quickly as we can.

Our great "Soldiers Of The Sword In The Right Arm Of Allah" "May Allah bless their every slash" have reported to us that you seem to live in a rather dubious neighbor hood that they feel unconfortable entering. They have felt the eyes of your infidel friends that surround you up on their glorious bodies and fear that they have designs upon them in the line of "Broke Back Mountain" "May Allah curse these infidels to hell".

Now Mr. Beamish if we could impose up on you to move out of this camp of devils perhaps to a glorious neighborhood such as Anum "May Allah Bless her" then we would be able to process this fatwa in a more expediant manner.

We await your reply to our request so that we may do the bidding of our Great Prophet "May Allah Keep Him"

Sincerly

Ali-Mohamed-Akbar-Shaha-Zarqoui
Director of the Holy Fatwa's
Fatwa United Central of the Koran

Always On Watch said...

Justin,
Bwahahahaha!

Great way to start my day.

Anum Mahktar said...

Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions.

Pride and hypocrisy are dispraised characteristics which are not of the morals and conduct of the people of faith.

The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) defined pride saying: "It is to be arrogant towards the truth, and to deny people their rights." [Muslim]. Two main characteristics of a person with pride are he rejects the truth and despises people. Other characteristics of such person can be encompassed within these two characteristics like refusing to acknowledge one's mistakes, and refusing to sit with poor people, and so on.

beakerkin said...

Hold on Anum you yourself said that you would not sit at a table with non believers. Should I be segregated because I see a different path to God. Does this entitle you to Jiyzah or steal my money in the name of god.

You have insulted Mr Beamish and Jason by excluding them from your links. Mr Beamish wants a recount and to get these pearls of wisdom
on his site. How did you miss Liberty and Culture ?

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

Allah is nothing. There is no Allah. Muhammad was a terrorist. Mr. Beamish's left boot sole is holier than the Kabaa, even if you wall-papered it with pages from the Koran.

Now can I have my fatwa?

Justin said...

Anum,

"The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wa sallam) defined pride saying: "It is to be arrogant towards the truth, and to deny people their rights." [Muslim]. Two main characteristics of a person with pride are he rejects the truth and despises people."

I would have to say you just met most of his criteria. Only you want the rights thing limited to just Muslim. So you think it was right for Muslims to deny 3,000 people in the twin towers their right to life. To deny their children of their lives.

You think it was right for three men dressed as women (and I think we both know what Allah thinks of men who dress as women) to deny 79 people the right to worship peacefully in thier own Mosque.

Anum I would have to say you suffer from:

1. Pride (to think yourself better than others)

2. Arrogance (to think your way is the only way and there is no other)

3. Hypocrasy (to think you know the mind and heart of God therefore you speak for him)

4. Zeolatry (to think your religion created some 1400 years is the only religion)

5. Murder of the Heart (you support a religion that calls for the murder of innocents)

You are weighed in the balance and found wanting. It is not up to you nor up to Muhammad to decide how one gets to God. That my child is reserved for God alone to do.

By the way Anum does your husband know you are communicating with other men that you do not know? Does he know you are visiting the sites of what he would find to be infidels?

Is there a stoning in your near future?

nanc said...

she is a he - tell me where women have a place in allah's men's world? start addressing anum for what he is, please. they are certainly not given power over men - any men.

Always On Watch said...

Mr. Beamish,
If that doesn't get you your fatwa, I don't know what will!

Always On Watch said...

Justin,
Provoking in search of a fatwa? Or just plain fed up?

Always On Watch said...

Beamish,
Maybe your guide for handling the koran will do the trick.

Or the gas mask at the mosque.

Justin said...

AOW,

Ummmm maybe just fed up the fatwa thing sounds like something disgusting I would get at the local Mickey D's :).

I just get fed up with people who slaughter the most innocent of the innocent (children) in the name of some prophet or desert diety he invented. And those who support such a belief by invoking the name of "God" to justify these acts.

If Anum were to really look at her/his (whatever) religion they might ask why if Allah truely spoke to Muhammad and was founding the only true religion did he co-opt the Jewish patriarchs and the laws into the 5 pillars of Islam. He/She (rolls eyes) might even have a few questions why Jesus and the Virgin Mary are so venerated in the Islamic belief.

Perhaps Anum should question why if all of these prophets,religious leaders, and wanna be's like Usamma have not led their people by example and strapped on the explosive belts themselves. Perhaps because they are to cowardly to put their money where their mouth is. They truely are the spawn of "Satan".

Anum has to face the fact that even the true Ayatohla's or Mullah's will tell him/her that the Quran in no way supports what "Anum" supports.

Anum is a cafeteria Muslim just like many cafeteria Christians taking only those parts that support their own personal belief and ingoring the whole of the belief.

Sorry AOW I know that is a long winded answer for a short question but..... :)

MissingLink said...

Two main characteristics of a person with pride are he rejects the truth and despises people.

This is a great description of Muhammad.

BTW,
Jason and Felis might face heresy charges for reading the Koran in a less then flattering manner. LOL

Beak, you mean reading and actually understanding not just parroting like Muslims.

beakerkin said...

Felis you have made a great point that I am reluctant to admit. I have friends in the Assyrian, Coptic and Yemenite Jewish communities of NYC. They all say the exact same thing do not take my word for it read the Koran.

The entire notion of a sytem of Jim Crow type laws and amputations is abhorent to me. The mathematcal games of a womans testimony means 1/2 of a mans is an attrocity. The far left can doodle but sharia is Jim Crow with a religious book.