Friday, October 01, 2010

The Dark Side of the Internet

Much has been written about the gay student at Rutgers who killed himself after his lifestyle was published on the web. The easy access does allow people to violate people's privacy with impunity. The postings were foul and intended to embarrass a person with a frail mental condition.

The person in question should be charged with invasion of privacy. He should be expelled from Rutgers and any other State University. He had no way of knowing that his stupid actions would cause an even dumber reaction by the deceased.

In this day and age being gay is common and though there are those who are bigoted most people really don't care. In life every group has bigots and it is something you deal with. There are bumps and turns along our life's journey, but one needs to keep going.

A terrible wrong was done to the victim. Yet one should grasp that most of us deal with terrible wrongs in our daily lives and do not kill ourselves. I sympathize with the victim but suicide unless one is terminally ill or saving others is never the answer.

19 comments:

The_Editrix said...

Beak, you've very probably don't get the whole picture. Maybe things are different in America, but here is what I'd say had this happened in Europe: He was outed not by "homophobes", but by "gay activists" who hate it if homosexuals keep their sexual preference, as they ought to, private. They think that every homosexual ought to flaunt his sexuality in everybody else's face because it is something to be "proud of". (And yes, they say that AND at the same time that it is a congenital condition. So I guess I ought to be proud as well of the fact that I have blue eyes and a certain shoe size.) Years ago, when homosexuals were, yet and just, not as corrupted as they are now, a militant "gay" lobbyist here did a lot of harm to quite a few celebrities whom he outed, rightfully or not, as homosexuals. THAT is the true face of the oh-so-vibrant, colourful and "gay" sub culture.

And by the way, the deceased was not dumb, he was desperate. To label a suicide as "dumb" is the height of cynicism.

Ducky's here said...

He had no way of knowing that his stupid actions would cause an even dumber reaction by the deceased.

--------------

You really do need an editor. A good one would have been able to word that so that you appear less of a red neck.

See if Beamish wants the job. He might appreciate a break from listening to Rush (radio and lousy band) all day.

beakerkin said...

Ducky

Killing yourself because you are embarrassed because you are gay is stupid. People can only be themselves for better or worse.

Now killing yourself because you are a commie is a public service. All commies should emulate Jim Jones.

Editrix

People need to accept themselves
for who and what they are. Suicide
in his case was an over reaction likely caused by shame. Most people really don't care who sleeps with whom.

In the long run as far as shame goes there is always tomorrow unless you end it now. The act was typical of the exaggerated sense
of self importance that is typical of the very young. The deceased will have his day of fame and be forgotten.

Ducky's here said...

How does Editrix know so much about the gay subculture?

The_Editrix said...

Beak, who are YOU to declare from a great height that this man's decision to end his life was an overreaction. Only God can do that. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Justin said...

Beak:

I have to agree with Editrix when she said your labeling this young mans suicide "dumb" as showing"the height of cynicism on your part."

Suicide is never a dumb act!! It is the desparate act of an individual who has lost all hope and feels they have no place else to turn.

Neither you nor I have any idea of the inner turmoil this young man was going through in dealing with his sexuality at the age of 18.

However, I can speak to some of his inner turmoil myself as I personally know what it is like and how hard it was for me to deal with when I was his age.

Yes Beak, I myself looked at suicide as perhaps the only way out of the conflicted inner torment I was going through at that age.

Perhaps we can have a discussion on that in the future if you really care to know what its like to be labled a sociotal outcast, condemned sinner or just a worthless piece of humanity when your 18.

I also have to question one statement you made to Editrix.

"The act was typical of the exaggerated sense of self importance that is typical of the very young."

Were you speaking to Tyler's sense of self importance or, were you speaking to the two (Ravi and Molly W. Wei) who blasted his most private intimate acts over the internet for any and all to see?

If you were speaking of Tyler perhaps you could explain just what his sense of self importance was.

And your last comment to Editrix showed a great deal of not only cynicism but callousness as well.

"The deceased will have his day of fame and be forgotten."

Day of Fame? Really Beak, is this what you truly think this young man had in mind when he took this sensles but desparate act?

Beak, perhaps my comments may seem harsh but, I do speak them to you as a friend who respects you and your opinions. However, as a friend I do disagree with your comments on this tragic event and the light you seem to be portraying this young man in.

beakerkin said...

Justin

I live by a simple philosophy is this the hill you wish to die on. For most aspects of life it is better to understand our place in the larger picture. I do not diminish the embarrassment and emotional pain this young man went through.

Being 18 sucks as your emotions are all over the place. All a person should ever be is themselves. What does being gay say about a man. It doesn't make you good or evil. It doesn't make you rich or poor. It just means that your tastes are different from the norm. In the end whose tastes aren't different from the norm. Even my own taste in women has changed over the years.

I do not downplay the emotional pain this person is in but suicide is never ever an answer unless one is saving others or suffering from some horrible painful terminal illness.

The joy in life is for the most part their is always tomorrow until the final curtain comes down. All of us have had moments where we were down and I certainly have had my share. Yet all of us keep going because somewhere there is the promise of something better. This young man took a promising gift and let his pride get the best of him.

Never be so proud of yourself that you let the slings and arrows of lesser men and Ducks bother you. In the end the poor kid robbed himself of a promising future.

Desperate acts are seldom well thought out. Maybe I live in an alternate universe where being gay is no big deal. I just hope to live long enough to never see this type of crap snuff out lives.

Justin said...

Beak:
"Never be so proud of yourself that you let the slings and arrows of lesser men and Ducks bother you."

That is a wonderful philosphy and it may play well in your world or a perfect world but, not everyone sees the world as or have the coping methods to deal with it as you see it and we both know there is no perfect world.

You said:
"This young man took a promising gift and let his pride get the best of him."

Yes, this young man did have a promising gift but, I seriously doubt "pride" was his factor for taking the action he did. Yes Beak, we have all been down at times in our lives and we have all dealt with it in our own separate ways.

Beak as a friend I ask you this. Have you ever been driven to such a depth of darkness and emotional pain and dispare that you sat in a dark room with a 357 magnum in your hand knowing that just one pull of the trigger would end all the shame and pain you were going through not only emotionally but physically? Well Beak, I have and I can tell you that "pride" had absolutely nothing at all to do with it.

I will not go into the details of what pulled me back from that brink other than to tell you it was more supernatural than you would believe or imagine.

I firmly agree with you that suicide is never the answer but, I do not call giving ones life to save others suicide. Those two actions are universes apart so please do not put them in the same category. "Greater Love hath no man than that he give his life for that of a friend." Giving ones life to save another is a act of love for others not suicide.

"In the end the poor kid robbed himself of a promising future."

I agree with you that he robbed himself of a promising future and he may well have robbed the world of a wonderful violinist. The world may well have been robbed of another Itzhak Perlman. But, please do not judge this young man by your standards of coping with life.

Perhaps it is just the coldness of the written word that I do seem to miss any sense of emotion you may feel on this. But when you lable someones actions in a matter such as this as "dumb" and make statements like "his day of fame" I miss any compassion you may have as I said perhaps it is because it is written. One must remember there is a certain coldness expressed in the written word as opposed to the spoken.

Like you I too hope to see the day that there are no more sensless happenings as this. I hope to see a world which has no place for the likes of "Ravi or Ms. Wei" who helped push this young man to the final brink. But, realistically I know that world is a long long way off.

beakerkin said...

Justin

In life all of us face adversity. An average life contains enough ups and downs that we all have. My life has been anything but average. Still I consider myself lucky.

What those punks did was in excusable. It was cruel and viscous
and evil.

Eighteen is an age of stupidity and extreme emotions. In life we
all must face and overcome things.
The worst ones are those that are beyond our control.

I can't claim to understand the mental torment of a gay person. In
my world it is not a big deal. I also understand that many people needlessly hate gay people for no reason. I certainly deal with that
to a lesser extent as Jew. However,
my attitude is that if you have a problem it is your loss. No doubt the hatred for gays is a lot cruder.

In my simple world it is about knowing who we are and forgiving those around us for what they are not. Nobody should ever apologize for who and what they are. The kid tried to keep this aspect of his life private. Ignorant louts violated his privacy, but tomorrow
is unwritten. Tomorrow is filled with promise, adventure or at least hope. We must never lose track of that hope. Sadly in a desperate act the kid did pen the ending to his story as a tragedy.

I am not a religiously oriented man
and am just a mere officer. However, even when I deliver bad news I always remind the recipient that they must keep up hope and it only takes one person in the chain to say yes. I make every effort to deliver the bad news with humanity
and empathy.

Maybe I just live on another planet
where being gay is like car preference. NYC may not be the real world in some respects as our
ethos of acceptance is not the norm in many places. Maybe the day
will come that people will just accept people as they are.

No doubt I will hear screams from
some that I am a liberal. No I respect people's right to live with dignity and be themselves. In actuality I really care more about
the price of Corn Pops than who is or isn't gay.

Rob said...

Hello Beak, hope all is well you.


To a extent I will agree with Beak. I do not blame the people who outed him for HIS decision to commit suicide, they were awful for what they did, but in all honesty to reach a point in which you commit suicide, something has gone wrong from a mental state. It's a absolute horrible situation.

Justin said...

Rob:

You are so correct when you said:
"but in all honesty to reach a point in which you commit suicide, something has gone wrong from a mental state." Having been to those depths I know what you are saying.

Unlike you tho, I do blame these two because their ignorant, selfish, look at us we have something big attitude which was a direct factor in this young man who was probably already on thin ice taking the final step.

Do you for one minute think that they gave a damn about him, his feelings or what their actions could do to someone? No, they did not because they were so caught up in trying to look big for others.

I am also angry at the others who this young man turned to but they blew it all off instead of realizing there may be a problem that could lead to drastic measures.

Perhaps having been in the deepest darkest pit of dispair that this young man was facing I am just to sensitive or see those who just blow it off as a dumb that I act differntly.

Perhaps I have looked into the face of to many young people who were drawing their last breath because of being pushed to the precipice. I have looked into the eyes of to many of their peers whose stupid actions helped push them over the edge and seen the "oh well he must have been a mental case already. we arent responsible" or "gee we dint think he would freak that bad" attitude.

Take a good look at how many young gay people are commiting suicide because they cannot cope with the bullying or the ridicule of their peers and feel they have no place to turn and there is only one way out. These deaths are not dumb, stupid,overreactions or because they were to proud. These deaths are a tragic fact that these people feel they have no where to turn. And when they do they are met with in most cases ridicule, chastisment and a total lack of understanding of their cries for help.

OK Im gonna shut up now but, yes I think these two selfish spoiled little rich kids are guilty to a big degree in this young mans actions.

beakerkin said...

Rob

Good to hear from you and likewise I hope all is well. I understand this was the desperate act of a troubled man.

All we can ever be is ourselves. I have been taking some heat for being with a Hindu woman. My choice is my own and I remind people to mind their own business. I deal with the snide comments with caustic humor.

We really should just mind our business when it comes to other peoples lives. Who the hell cares who is romantically linked to whom.
Now in all fairness the Guyanese community has been wonderful and they see me as an asset. I help raise money for their community charities.

In a certain aspect we forget that this man was an artist and they really live their lives on a roller coaster.

beamish said...

Let me be the first to say "who gives a shit, period?"

The fag posted on fag web sites, seeking fag advice from fags.

He wasn't exactly "in the closet" online to begin with.

So his "roommate" busted him on cam making out with another fag and streamed it to an audience interested in watching fags make out.

I'm still not finding where I'm supposed to be queued to say "oh how horrible it is that fags are so viciously jealous and spiteful to each other" or "how dare those fags drive that poor fag to go kill himself."

What about the positive benefits of this outing? People at Rutgers who didn't know a potential epidemiological disease vector was walking among them now do know and can get medical exams to make sure casual contact with the exotic viruses and bacteria exhaled by this fag didn't carry a death sentence.

beakerkin said...

Mr B

I give a shit. I hate to see lives snuffed out because of desperation. The kid had a promising future all wasted because he feared irrational
hatred.

I wish you could see the people who suffer over this issue. A woman whose father rejected her because he found out she was a lesbian endured 12 years of domestic violence alone. Sadly, she did not turn to those groups you mention who could have helped her. When she did get help it was only because she found an officer who championed her case and took it through a legal maze much like Quincy fighting a maze of red tape.

I think you know who the officer was. If you sat and listened to what this woman endured it is impossible not to be moved and remain human.

Gays are just as human as the rest of us. In an ideal world we all carry ourselves with dignity.

I hope you never have to deal with
hatred from people that do not even know you.

Always On Watch said...

So many people abuse the Internet.

I fail to understand that mentality, the mentality that seeks Internet vengeance in personal disputes. I don't really know much about this particular dispute, but it sounds to me as if a lover's spat went crazy.

CM said...

It takes a mental person to keep hating on a person they don't really know personally.

This person was young and imature, therefore weak but not dumb. Had not even lived long enough to endure hate like lots of people have, and especially by people who don't know you and on the net was a sign of weakness, imaturity and I would say innocense!

The net is a place to share but uncaring evil people use it as a weapon. If I was eighteen and called the names over and over again publicly and my family Indian Name was degraded over and over again and accused of being lesbian, whore, squaw and worse, I don't know how I could endure i. If I was eighteen and weak and innocent then I should not be on the net but this person was seeking friendship and the enemy was a coyote a trickster, this person was innocent not dumb!

beakerkin said...

AOW

College is a rough time for some and it is the first time away from family. I do admit that when I worked in the hotel business and had a gay room mate I moved quickly to a place that was dangerous. It was a very small place roughly 1/3 of the space of the Rutgers dorm. The place I went to was a high crime area but I did have my own space.

beakerkin said...

CM

Yes it takes a sick person to carry a grudge and stalk people for years over multiple sites like a certain mongrel bitch who follows you around.
Perhaps the good Dr needs to watch old Yeller to learn how to handle rabid dogs.

beamish said...

I give a shit. I hate to see lives snuffed out because of desperation. The kid had a promising future all wasted because he feared irrational
hatred.


Uh, no. He had a "promising future" all wasted because he jumped off a bridge.

Before that he went to a gay sex chat site and talked about how his roommate "secretly" films him having gay sex with a webcam that can't be covered and attached to a computer that can't be turned off.

Promising future probably didn't make the cut. This guy was at Rutgers? In 2010? And can't unplug a USB cable?