Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Forced Marriages and Reality

The question of forced marriages is a very real topic in the UK. However, in the USA we do have the violence against women act as a starting point. The VAWA act pretty much was a good idea whose original intent was to keep women from remaining in bad marriages for immigration benefits. However, the incremental definitions over what constitutes abuse has made the act way too generous. In theory a person could claim almost anything with no substantiation and qualify. Thus if a person were in the USA and were unhappy with this arrangement they could get residence on their own. They would require the same housing issues that normal battered women
get on a community level. However, the situation lends itself to potential abuse as do all immigration programs.


Always On Watch said...

In the old days here in Virginia, family members and close friends came to the rescue of battered wives, and law enforcement pretty much stayed out of those kinds of family matters. That approach had a way of calming down the guy swinging his fists.

I'm not one to give a lot of credence to "psychological abuse," as that kind of abuse is too subjective.

The Merry Widow said...

The old fashioned method of taking the idjit behind the woodshed and horsewhipping him did more to improve marital relations than the pc nonsense in vogue today!
A woman I used to work with had a foster sister who married my coworkers brother. The foster mother/ m-i-l gave her a cast iron skillet as a wedding present, said she knew her son and she would need it! Sure enough, years down the road, wife got sick and tired of the philandering, disrespect and verbal abuse, swapped him upside the head with her wedding skillet...he straightened out from then on!
You have to defend the boundaries or bullies will run over you!
Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!

Besides, I thought the Founding fathers said that the ONLY purpose for a federal government was for mutual defense and regulation of commerce?

Z said...

I've seen some very successful arranged marriages.

The Merry Widow said...

Not with 16 yr. old brides I'll bet!
Grown ups can adapt if the parents have some sense. The church I attend has an Indian couple, she was given a choice of gentlemen and 10 minutes each to talk. She and her husband seem to be content with each other...but it was still her choice as to which one. She wasn't presented with a fait accompli!
Good morning, G*D bless and Maranatha!


Ducky's here said...

Arranged marriages, Beak, there is an outstanding Indie film titled "Arranged".

It was produced in Brooklyn and in a nutshell it concerns the friendship of a conservative Jewish woman and a conservative Muslim who are teachers, friends and both going through arranged marriages.

Kicker is that everyone is telling them to forget about going the arranged route but they WANT to.

It may be tough to find but it is a very good film that looks at the pressures on traditional beliefs. Doesn't settle a controversial issue but it gives some very good insights. I was surprised that after her marriage the orthodox Jewish woman covered her hair. I wasn't aware of that custom.

The Merry Widow said...

ducky-Orthodox Jewish women wear wigs or kerchiefs. Ever see "Fiddler On The Roof"? ALL the married wonen wore one or the other, only their husbands saw their hair.
In fact, in some stricter sects, the women cut or shave their heads and wear nothing but wigs! Usually this occurred in areas with a high mohammadin population, it was thought to turn off rapists!


QunQat said...


have your parents found your mate yet??

Did they check the pound?