Sunday, July 20, 2008

Cultural Oddities

I want to point out that within my culture we have very specific norms. A person does not introduce a girlfriend to your parents or take her to family functions unless it is
destined for other things. I was mortified when a female coworker made a point of introducing me to her family. Apparently, I may be well known amongst her kin. I also do not permit my family to visit my jobs.

This cultural oddity is one that has perplexed many of the women I have dated. I do not
meet any family unless it is a serious relationship.


The Pagan Temple said...

Damn, Beak, do you have any friends at all? Maybe this woman sees you as a friend, just like good ol' Charlie or Bill, etc, whose parents you might have met. What's the big deal? Why do you assume she has anything in mind other than that?

Did her parents come to see her at work? Are you the only one she introduced them to?

Was that some good stuff at least?


beakerkin said...


In this case a vast effort was made to locate me. I was doing officer stuff. In my culture we do not make such introductions until ring intent is formed. Certainly I do not bring family to work ever. The recent visit of a friend was because he works in the same building.

It is not a secret that we are close friends but not a couple.

The Pagan Temple said...

Well, okay, I see what you are saying, and I guess you ought to know, but it just seemed to me you might have been jumping the gun.

I mean, if you are not a couple, and assuming she is not jumping to some conclusion in her own mind, it could just be that your friendship means something to her.

Maybe you have been a big help to her in some way you might not have considered, either on the job, or in some aspect of her personal life, or possibly both. Have you ever given her any advice, or reassured her in some way about some real or perceived problem she was having on the job, in a way that helped her fit in and be a part of the team?

It could just be something like that and she's wanting to express her appreciation by letting her parents know, hey this is really a good guy here.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, unless you think there's a chance she has gotten the wrong idea and it could cause you a problem on the job, but that's a different case. It's never a good idea to be romantically involved with a fellow employee, and as long as you make that clear, you shouldn't have any real problem.

Anonymous said...

I would have thought you'd need permission to court a woman BEFORE dating her, beak. Or aren't YOU the non-serious one. ;-)

Beamish said...

Speaking of cultural oddities, how come out in the boonies Bluetooth phones don't work but Yellowtooth phones do?

Papa Frank said...

Very interesting. I never knew about either of those cultural oddities. You really DO learn something new every day.

Ducky's here said...

The only similar custom I can think of in my culture is that you don't bring a guy to meet relatives if he doesn't have a job.

nanc said...

do you also have to leave her for a year to build her home before you "know" her?

beak - you absotively crack me up - it is you who are the oddity - all your talk of "moving along" is just that - "talk".

it is perfectly normal to meet the parents of your friends for crying out loud - can you imagine meeting them after you've known the person for ten years? think of the problems you can eliminate if you know them early on.

we moved 1,800 miles from our family - WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN THAT?

have you kissed her yet?

ha! *;]

beakerkin said...


In my culture this is only done if one is very serious.

Fortunately, for me this person is way too headstrong. She thinks that being with someone who will be more dominant will make this work.However, when one is never wrong this is a rx for eventual disaster.

I do not do the dating thing anymore.

There are way too many red flags even if I were not.

1 Fiery temper mean streak
2 Controlling
3 Spends every nickel
4 Wants children yesterday.
5 Very self centered

As much as I like her any such relationship would be doomed. She does not appreciate those who are not self centered and views the attention as mandatory.