Saturday, August 25, 2007

Michael Vick and the Larger Picture

Bloodsports are a cultural tradition with an ancient history. Dogs for the most part are beloved companions but in reality Pitbulls were created as a breed for the activities Michael Vick used them for. The reality is that they are often kept by drug dealers and other hoodlums and are part of the gang culture. I would rather NYC force owners to have extensive insurance on pitbulls.

I am not bothered by a couple of yahoos watching a pair of roosters fight to the death. This is not my idea of entertainment.I want the loser and winner on a bun with Barbeque sauce, hold the angel dust. Many pets are carnivores and are natural hunters. Earl the Cat is well fed and has killed Squirels, birds of all type and has fought with racoons, possums over kills. My turtle is an expert hunter and will eat 50 goldfish in a day. He has attacked waterbugs, snails, worms and anything he can fit in his mouth. Basic care of a pond turtle requires whole fish.

I would would rather have a new type of blood sport. Commies and Anarchists thrown in a gladiator style ring with wild animals. I could envision this with a play by play type raings driven format.

Welcome to Beakerkin's House of Pain Where We Subject Commies and Anarchists to Social Justice.

Beakerkin: In our next match we have Cmmunist Moronicus Insaniticus commonly known as John Brown vs Reggie the Gator. Listen to the chants of REGGIE,REGGIE from the crowd
Farmer: This should be an ineresting match as Reggie is obviously a fan favorite.

Lets listen to the match

John Brown: You zionist meia types have resorted to appealing to Commercialism. Death to Vanilla Sam and Apartheid Israel. All of you will be in head coffins soon......
Beakerkin Speaking of head coffins Reggie has just dragged Brown into the water. Brown is being swallowed feet first.

John Brown: Help I need socialized medicine .....................
Beakerkin: I don't believe this we have a draw. Reggie the gator and Brown have both died. Farmer what happened.
Farmer: Apparently Reggie the Gator has died of food poisoning.

Beakerkin: In our next match we have Graeme vs Aldo the mad Capatalist dog.
Farmer: This is going to be an interesting match
Beakerkin : I don't get this Aldo and Graeme are both staggering. He is singing Hotel California off key in a pot induced stupor. Now he is talking to Aldo who appears to ave gotten a contact high.
Farmer: If Aldo ever gets the munchies this match is over.

Tune in next week for a Troskyite from Mineapolis vs a Detroit Lion and Neonazi LWB versus an army of fire ants.

Up Next Queer Eye For The Jihadi Terrorist Guy. Being a Fashion Zero is nothing to looooose your head over.


Mr. Beamish the Kakistocrat said...

What prevailing interest does the government have in this case? Are they going to crack down on people who bet on the outcome of Animal Planet shows about predators in the wild? If Michael Vick stir fried the dog meat up with some kim chee and served it to guests, would they praise his awareness of Korean culture?

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Michael Vick is getting railroaded by the RICO statutes. Alpo has killed more dogs.

Russet Shadows said...

Pure comedic genius. You really oughta go into comedy.

The Merry Widow said...

Mr. B.-It is cruel, it is gambling, and it encourages a callousness towards ALL life that is anti-G*D.


beakerkin said...

Russett most of these are decent skits. However the best one was still the first Mr Beamish campaign commercial.

Always On Watch said...

I'm not crazy about cock fighting. But for me, there is something truly reprehensible about dog fighting.

My mother used to breed pitbulls--not for fighting, but as watch dogs (Single woman living alone in D.C., then later, single women--widowed--living in the rurual suburbs of Virginia). The ones she chose as pets and watch dogs (all females because of the inbred aggression problem) were exceptionally good family pets, provided they have careful training. In fact, Mom had more trouble with German Shepherds "turning" than with her pitbulls.

The Merry Widow said...

When I went through dog training with one of our shephaerds, there were 2 American bull terriors, they were the biggest clowns! If they tripped over their feet, or stumbled into each other, they got up with a big doggy grin, wagging their tails like big goofs. They thought it was funny!
Beaker's commercials, plays, game shows and movies are hilarious!
And they make more sense than most of the crappe on tv!