Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Last Day at Work

Tommorow is my last day at the VT office. I will be leaving many friends that have enriched my life. My desk was packed up and I did my final cases. I will be giving around ten away.

My time in VT is bittersweet in that it allowed me the foundation of experience to further my career in NYC. The process for permanent hire in the Federal government leaves much to be desired. It was not easy to get into the system. The most frustrating part is the selection process varies on criteria and I just missed three times in VT. Oddly, I had job offers in other cities but NYC is home. Part of me is upset because I earned the right to choose. However, due to some arbitratry whims I was excluded from consideration yet again.

However, unlike most I learned an important lesson. When the door closes on you look for another door. Look after your own interests and never believe a word until it is in writting. Ultimately, the person who controls our destiny is the familiar one in the mirror. I feel for my friends who did not get selected. All of them are dedicated professionals worthy of hire.

In a way I am lucky because NYC has a large office and is not a popular destination. It has far more openings than anyother office. However, one still has to pass the writting test to be eligible. The real annoying part is the policy that restricts us to one office on the national hire list. Ultimately I would have been willing to go to NJ but they had one third of the openings that NYC. A friend of mine who lives in a smaller community had to compette for one opening.

My lot is bad but many of my friends have been passed over thee times. My journey has ended and Thursday I return home to NYC. Maybe some of the boys at Urban Elephants will bring me up to date on events in NYC. I no longer know the local issues and the NYC buzz.

My journey started on 9-11 not far from where I will be hanging my hat. I will be a ten minute walk from Ground Zero.

Funny but I always tought religious folk were more or less immune from the demons that plauged me. However, I was somewhat surprised to hear religious coworkers who understood my experience after 9-11. After 9-11 I took inventory of my life and decided being a fashion executive was not enough. My life was rewarding on a daily level, leading a crew into action against impossible deadlines is great fun. Yet my existence was a mere number on a ledger sheet in some accounting office . I began to wonder what my life amounted to and despite many intersting moments I was still nothing more than a number on a series of ledger pads. I didn't change lives or do anything that had long term consequences. I joined my curent employer where I change lives each and every day and serve the country I love.

I was somewhat surprised to find that deeply religious people wrestle with the issues of purpose
similar to my own moments. However, those moments where we reflect on our lives and purpose may just be a human experience all of us go through.

This is a rare reflective post and maybe I will be in better form tommorow or when I get to NYC. Ultimately, I leave theology and philosophy to those more suited to the task at hand.

Beamish in 08


The Merry Widow said...

Beaker-Every man and woman reaches a point of asking, "What is my purpose? Why am I here?" Just because those of us who have a relationship with G*D, should of all people, know what and why. The details escape us, or we feel we may have taken a wrong turn, and turns out to have NOT been G*D's Best for our lives! A friend of mine's daughter has been going through such a crisis.
The important thing is, do we sit in the ash heap and wail, or do we say, "Okay, I blew it. G*D, please redeem my mistakes." The funny thing is, HE does!
You made a choice at a critical time in your life, to look beyond how much I can earn and how high up can I climb, but rather, how can I serve. You chose the unselfish service.

Travel safely and return to your family and friends open arms with joy!

nanc said...

go with G-d, beak.

do you plan to attend this event once you're back on your own turf?

if you do, please take lots of photos.

Ducky's here said...

Well Beak, I think your politics suck the gas pipe but I do wish you luck in settling down and resolving this in a way that makes you happy.

Now, how about those "family value" Repubs?
Republicans are trying right now to get away with dismissing this as another "overblown media scandal" while running away from Craig at warp speed.

An "overblown media scandal" was when you tried to impeach Clinton over his personal behavior, and Larry Craig, Mark Foley, Gingrich, Vitter, Livingston and the rest of you supported it.

Giuliani treats marriage like a drive-thru at McDonalds. Fred Thompson, whose girlfriend and
FORMER wife was probably not dreaming of having him impregnate her in high school.

This is NOT a media scandal. It is your whole damn party. When do Mitch McConnell (R - Closeted garment bag) and Lindsay Graham (R - "Metrosexual") get outed?

Ducky's here said...

"I was somewhat surprised to find that deeply religious people wrestle with the issues of purpose similar to my own moments."

It's our condition Beak. Religious or secular, it's our condition.

Anonymous said...

Party today?

Anonymous said...


You're right about the human condition... it's hard to rise above it. We're destined to fail most of the time.