Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Maybe it's us

In the media there is another dec scandal that may or may not involve Bill Clinton. There was a time and place that the image of a sexual predator or a sex addict was humorous. The sex addict stereotype was the jogging suit loser guy who was never quite sucsessful. He was upper middle class and you see a cartoon version of this with Quagmire on the Family Guy.

Sadly over time we have seen religious people in all types of communities fall prey to this problem. Some of us kidded ourself it was a gay thing. There are certainly gay sexual predators but they have no monopoly on sexual misconduct. As story after story in the newspapers have shown even adult women can prey on minors.

Perhaps all of us should look in the mirror and start to understand this is a human weakness that can impact anyone from a President to the homeless guy on skid row. The notion that sexual predators are all cartoon comedic figures is a myth. One would hope in a normal workplace that this would not be true. Sadly, my own experience with EEO aspects on the job has been less than stellar. Management protects the popular and uses the same process against those who are pariahs for lesser charges.  Just looking at the people fired and the people promoted is a real mystery.

The one that hurts the most are the accusations against Cosby. He was loved by almost everyone and seemed to have a healthy fondness for being a dad. None of the allegations involve young children and the women seemed to be at least of consenting age. The message of Cosby was that being a father was fun and it wasn't always easy. He just seemed natural and to really enjoy just being dad. I never thought I would enjoy being a father until this role became part of my life at 40. As I watch my daughter grow and spend time with the step grandkids Cosby comes to mind. When I sleep early the kids cry. It is kind of silly spending time feeding the small dog turkey Bologna with a toddler but those are family moments. The little dog likes the stuff and apparently so do the little kids. I guess my
sharing my food with the little dog is not such a bad example. It shows the value and fun of sharing.

Yet at the end of the day we as people have to ask is it possible that the same person who imparted the joys of fatherhood to millions could also have another aspect. If this is all true it says more about us than Cosby or Clinton. Even when a person is loved by millions there is a destructive impulse within us  that may involve sex drives or illegal substances. Even if this information is one hundred percent true I will still love Cosby as a combination of the human condition of greatness and weakness in the same person.

A sexual predator can be anyone. They can be well loved icons or social pariahs. It is sadly part of our DNA  to self destruct. Just the same the Quagmire figure just doesn't seem funny in an age where Even loved icons can be flawed in some cases far worse than most of us.

1 comment:

Ducky's here said...

It is kind of silly spending time feeding the small dog turkey Bologna with a toddler ...
You really need an editor.