Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Waterboarding of the Duck

In the wide world of Beakerkin there are two types of interviews. We do the In the Hot Seat with Beakerkin when we are doing serious political ideas punctuated with some whimsical fun.

We are doing a second type of interview that is sheer apolitical mischief. We will be discussing popular culture, food products and sports. This segment is called Waterboarding

Our first victim needs no introduction as he is quite well known around these parts.
Waterboarding is 30 questions about common life you may find any topic from Dear Abby
to Col Sanders.

1) What is behind your dislike of Mayonaise?
2) Which actress is more competent Farah Fawcett or Sandra Bullock
3) Do you even know what so called Boston Style mustard is? Compare and contrast it to New York Deli Mustard?
4) Did you watch the Patridge Family?
5) Who is better Abbott & Costello or Martin & Lewis?
6) Why is Bernadette Peters famous?
7) Name three Country and Western songs?
8) Name one NASCAR driver?
9) What condiment is commonly served with Bufalo Wings?
10) What color is Manhatan Clam Chowder?
11) What TV Show featured a charachter known as Aagarn?
12) What is the name of Homer Simpson's boss?
13) What Red Sox player was commonly known as "space man"?
14) Name any book written by James Mitchner?
15) Did John Wayne ever star in a work of Arthur Miller or Eugene Oneil?
16) Did you see the film Superfly?
17) Who was Bullwinkle's side kick?
18) The spokesman for Wendy's is?
19) What is a cherry lime rickey?
20) Name any two films with Telly Savalas?
21) Who is Simon Templar?
22) Which actor has more talent Michael Caine or Robert Redford and why?
23) Who lived next door to Archie Bunker?
24) Name any two sitcoms with Bill Bixby?
25) Name two Beatles songs?
26) What was the name of Lion puppet on the Soupy Sales show?
27) What actors played the parts of Felix Unger and Oscar Madison in the film version of the Odd Couple?
28) What cereal uses Toucan Sam as its mascot?
29) Who wrote the Winds of War
30) Name any of Tom Cruises current or former wives

16 comments:

Tragedy101 said...

Shouldn't number one be Miracle Whip?

And why is a "Jew" asking about clam chowder of any variety? How would he know?

I know I don't know about any clam chowder. It's not kosher. You know?

beakerkin said...

The Duck stated he has a disdain for
Mayonaise.

I am an American and familiar with a variety of cuisine. I am not very religious in general.

I am Jewish unlike Ren who is a practicing member of the death cult
of Trotsky.

Ducky's here said...

Beak, in the film hot seat:

1. Two of the world's greatest directors never used anything but a 50 mm. lens. Can Beak name one.

2. Name any films of the East German New Wave which you have seen.

3. Dovzhenko or Eisenstein?

4. Godard or Renais?

5. Name any classic serial which you actually saw in a theater.

6. Frankenstein or The Bride of Frankenstein?

7. Lee Marvin or Clint Eastwood?

8. Did Fellini jump the shark when he switched to color?

9. Do you believe Tarantino writes good dialog?

10. American or French noir?

11. What was the last silent film you watched?

12. Keaton or Chaplin?

13. Who was Billy Bitzer?

14. What is an accordion shot?

15. Name your favorite Spanish film.

16. Name your favorite Iranian film.

17. Have you ever seen a film of the Chinese 5th wave?

18. Rank the following world cinemas - Japan, France, Italy, U.S.

19. How well could Ingmar Bergman shoot closeups?

20. Is Bresson's cinema Christian?

21. Name any South American film you have seen.

22. Mizoguchi or Ozu? Teshigahara or Naruse?

23. Is diegetic sound featured in Huston's "The Asphalt Jungle"? In what scene?

24. John Williams or Nino Rota?

25. Name the greatest film ever made.

Jen said...

You're not a duck, you're a chicken.

Jen said...

I'll answer your questions:
1. No.
2. Did you see The Lives of Others?
3. Einstein! pbthththt!
4. neither
5. I've never seen Cheerios sold at the theater.
6. Young Frankenstein
7. okay, Eastwood, but he needs to hang his hat and move on.
8. Oh, most definitely! I feel like Fellini forsook his forefathers of foreboding and foreshadowing by friggin' flippin' to color. whew.
9. NO. Tarantino is an idiot.
10. I'm skipping this one on principle alone.
11. something on AMC on a Sunday afternoon. It was rainy and cold out and I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it.
12. Chaplin
13. I have no idea
14. See 13
15. La Mosquito Bionica
16. I don't have one. But if I did it would be called Kill a Mullah!
17. no
18. nah
19. He was decent.
20. I have no clue.
21. eh. Pan's Labirynth?
22. none of the above.
23. Yes! You know which scene.
24. John Denver.
25. Oh man, I loved it, but I cannot for the life of me remember the title. I'll get back to you on that.

Now you have to answer Beak's questions.

Warren said...

Gee Beak!


Ask him something he can answer....

Sponge Bob or Hanna Montana?

Depends or adult sized Pampers?

Viagra or Cialis?

Ducky's here said...

Very poor showing Jen. Chaplin over the greatest genius in the American cinema, Buster Keaton is a fail.

1) What is behind your dislike of Mayonaise?
Why ingest fat for no good reason?

2) Which actress is more competent Farah Fawcett or Sandra Bullock
Bullock has some talent. Neither is in Bibi Anderson's league.

3) Do you even know what so called Boston Style mustard is? Compare and contrast it to New York Deli Mustard?
I know that anything Bostonian is superior to New York.

4) Did you watch the Partridge Family?
Very rarely.

5) Who is better Abbott & Costello or Martin & Lewis?
Abbott & Costello if only for the "Who's On First Routine"

6) Why is Bernadette Peters famous?
Got me, she can't act and she can't sing but she tried both.

7) Name three Country and Western songs?
"Long Black Veil" (Lefty's version is still best)
"Wreck on the Highway"
I've Cried a Mile" (Hank Snow rules)

8) Name one NASCAR driver?
Jimmy Johnson?

9) What condiment is commonly served with Bufalo Wings?
Blue Cheese dressing. More artery cloggers.

10) What color is Manhatan Clam Chowder?
Red, New Yorkers can't make a good chowder. Tomatoes? Bleep that.

11) What TV Show featured a character known as Aagarn?
Don't know

12) What is the name of Homer Simpson's boss?
Mr. Burns the freakin' running dog capitalist imperialist.

13) What Red Sox player was commonly known as "space man"?
Ask Mickey Rivers, he'd know. Really is this your idea of a stumper?

14) Name any book written by James Mitchner?
Hawaii

Ducky's here said...

15) Did John Wayne ever star in a work of Arthur Miller or Eugene Oneil?
I believe he did an early silent adoption of The Ice Man Cometh. It's very obscure.

16) Did you see the film Superfly?
No

17) Who was Bullwinkle's side kick?
Bullwinkle was Rocky's sidekick.

18) The spokesman for Wendy's is?
Never eat there.

19) What is a cherry lime rickey?
A fountain drink, lime juice, seltzer, syrup of your choice. You go to Colleen's in Medford Square and get a raspberry lime rickey like the rest of the civilized world.


20) Name any two films with Telly Savalas?
The Dirty Dozen and one other.

21) Who is Simon Templar?
The Saint.

22) Which actor has more talent Michael Caine or Robert Redford and why?
I have to give it to Caine on range. He has been solid playing comedy, action or drama. His best is "Get Carter".
Redford burned out early and took very boring roles. "Downhill Racer" was easily his best. I really didn't see much in Butch Cassidy.

23) Who lived next door to Archie Bunker?
Lionel Jefferson

24) Name any two sitcoms with Bill Bixby?
My Favorite Martian, The Incredible Hulk

25) Name two Beatles songs?
In My Life, Norwegian Wood

26) What was the name of Lion puppet on the Soupy Sales show?
Don't know. And don't tell me you never watched The Uncle Floyd Show

27) What actors played the parts of Felix Unger and Oscar Madison in the film version of the Odd Couple?
Tony Randall and Jack Klugman

28) What cereal uses Toucan Sam as its mascot?
Fruit Loops

29) Who wrote the Winds of War
Herman Wouk

30) Name any of Tom Cruises current or former wives
The little slave he converted to Scientology, Katie Bimbo is it?

Ducky's here said...

Viagra, Warren? Little projection there Mr. No Performo?

Ducky's here said...

Trick question, Beak. The film version was Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau.

Warren said...

Nostradumbass,
Thank you for worrying about my equipment. I just figured that a misogynist, such as you, might have physical reasons for their... ummm ... affliction.

So which do you use before a hot date with Rosy Palm and the finger sisters? (or is it Opalma and the digit bros?)

Z said...

Warren, I laughed out loud...excellent questions.

Ducky, what are you, Jewish? You answered all the questions with questions:-)

There IS no mayonnaise but Best Foods.

The Lives of Others, Jen, is one of my very favorite films...sublime.

Buster Keaton bores the @(#*&(@#*& out of me. Chaplin does not.
I am SO not fond of silent films....TCM has them every Sunday night for those who are fond of them.

Red chowder's inedible to me. I have to admit it's healthier, but ptui!!
What does everybody see in Bullock? Not to be unkind, but geeesh.

What is Boston style mustard? Darker brown?

this is fun. Warren cracks me UP.

Ducky's here said...

The Lives of Others? I said East German New Wave, you know, the DEFA output before the crackdown (well of course you don't, I'm being generous), Born in '45, The Rabbit Is Me.

Buster Keaton bores you, hmmm. He's the father of film special effects, check out Sherlock Jr., my guess is you haven't seen any of his films.
Don't like silents? Does that include Lang, Feuillade, Pabst (Cue Warren, 1 ... 2...). The average American can't deal with long MSL's so I would think the relatively rapid editing in silents, especially the Russians would interest you.

Warren said...

I much prefer to let you step in it.
(Or on it, as the case may be.)

Ducky's here said...

Beak, I'm really hurt that you wouldn't answer any of my questions.

Let's try again.

What do you think of the new Turkish cinema and its use of very long ASL's?

I'm not trying to be difficult but it's just that folks like yourself and Warren make a lot of comments about foreign cultures without demonstrating you know your ass from your elbow.

Warren said...

Dear idiot child, (That would be you, Nostradumbass.)

"I'm not trying to be difficult but it's just that folks like yourself and Warren make a lot of comments about foreign cultures without demonstrating you know your ass from your elbow."

No, you're not trying to be difficult, you're just trying to be witty and you're only half way there.

Please provide a link to one of those "comments" I supposedly "frequently make". Your experience with "foreign cultures", seems to be when you leave some leftist, shit hole, fantasy world, to visit the real world!