Wednesday, July 25, 2012

The Siege

The invaders have been here eight days and have no sign of departing. If I am lucky I get two hours sleep a night. I grow more angry and am tired with this bullshit "victim act". I offered to buy a new air conditioning unit for this relative who does not "want my charity". No it is better to keep me up day after day night after night with slacker bs. I am a tough customer and have really grown to hate this relative who thinks this is funny.

I work in a tough place with time sensitive items. This clown complains day after day how tough he has it. Yes moron you work three jobs and have a tough time because your asshole spouse hasn't worked in 20 years. I can't have a conversation without this asshole spouse interjecting and annoying me. Sorry, if you want to get something in NYC unlike me you have plenty of free time go to NYC and get it yourself.

I am annoyed by the level of pampering and bs. I get a series of easy books for the kid to read over the summer. Pardon me but a Tale of Two Cities was a book I read when I was roughly nine. If the kid can read obscure religious texts in aramaic then he does not have a problem with reading comprehension. The problem is work ethic.

I am basically being held hostage by a family of religious slackers. If you think this is an exageration try sleeping three hours or less a week covered in sweat while slacker family shows no sign of leaving. Of course when you say something the response is victim mode.

I love when mutual aquanainces ask why I despise this relative. When you visit someone and hold every detail of their lives hostage to your religious quirks, play victim and cry about imaginary hard work it is a bit much. I also loathe tardiness and sloth with a passion. When you are always late you are basically irritating the crap out of me.

Now sloth is a particular annoyance. I worked Hotels as a teen and in factories as a college grad. My no quit win at all costs work ethic is something anyone who is there knows. The bottles of Diet Mountain Dew are my version of coffee in a go go go world. Must I endure career advice from a nobody who hasn't been paid for an opinon in two decades. How much of this can a man endure?

Here is my service Glad you came now everyone get the $^%*Y&(O out of here and get back to work.

Now here is an official trailer from Beakerambo's New Film.

Jihadi: These guests for Dr Zawaheri have come from Western China. Nobody understands a work he says except his bodygaurd . Just who in the world is Abubeakerrambo.

Zawaheri: You idiot those are the greatest enemies of Al Quedah. Allah may have mercy, but someone forgot to tell the Great Gasmasked Patriot and the Steroid abusing mendicant with a speech impediment.

Jihadi: We had to evacuate the mosque when they took off their boots. The odor was so bad even the scorpions are looking for 72 virgins.

Zawaheri: Where has that idiotic Communist infidel who hates Joooooos more than we do? What was his name again ":Bird Brain  uhhhhh Rumsfeld Duck uhhhhhh Ducky.

Jihadi: You mean the smart guy who talks to dead people on NCIS. Jethro Gibbs is my favorite infidel.

Zawaheri: NCIS is haram. No I mean the Marxist Moron who talks about camera angles mumbling incoherently about Aunt Jemimah and Rabies Radio.

Jihadi: He went to the Paul Robeson film festival in Charlestown.

Mr. B: @%%$^^% Yeah death by wedgie. Prepare to meet 72 virgins that look like Janet Reno and Bea Artur


Always On Watch said...

It's hot as Hades down here, Beak. But if you can arrange an escape, I will pick you up at the station.

Z said...

They need to GO, Beak...this isn't good for you wouldn't be good for anybody.
By the way, Tale of Two Cities for a 9 year old is pretty precocious!

kick them out!

Ducky's here said...

Beak, do you think Terry Gilliam uses the Dutch tilt too often?

beakerkin said...


What is scary is the culture of excuses. If this relative can study religious law in Aramaic picking up Dickens should be easy.


Relief is on the way

A Jewish holiday is scheduled this weekend and there will be peace until Sunday. They are going away next weekend to a senior retreat. I will be tending the place in peace with the teen.