Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Clearing the house on Thansgiving

This post is dedicated to those of us who are forced to deal with obnoxious relatives as the holidays approach. The best way to clear the house of unwelcome guests is to serve Tofurkey instead of Turkey. Most guest will run as soon as you mention tofu. The rest will excuse thenselves about an hour or so after you eat the substance.

I am a traditionalist as I like to see the big baloons in the Macys parade. They throw in a retro baloon for the boomers but I would love to see Bulwinkle or Gumby but it is not their turn. Has anyone noticed the resemblence of 167 to Mr Potato head.

I also like to watch the football games but the Detriot Lions without Barry Sanders are a bore. The Cowboy and Denver game promises to be much better. I do remember LT returning an interception 95 yards against Detroit on Thanksgiving.

I expect a dead animal on my plate for Thanksgiving. However, my time in VT has made me more flexible so if a vegitarian switches the Turkey with Tofurkey all one has to do is have a meeting between Ford and mother nature. A Moose is quite delicious but risky unless one is driving a tank. Aim for anything smaller then a deer but skunk is not popular for obvious reasons. Lets see three rabits and a racoon take route 127 and be back in an hour.

In general non Hindu vegatarians are the meanest people one will encounter. This is because they are always trying to save the world from maladies created by their like minded socialist nutjobs. " How can you eat Turkey when there are Killer whales dying in Alaska. Hmmmmmn Killer whale would taste good but will it go with cranberry sauce and stuffing. I go to my table to eat have a good time so if the tie died crowd is bent out of shape too bad.

The far left can have arbor day and all their dopey ideas like take your daughter to work day. I would like a persecuted tax payer day on April 15, but do not hold your breath on that one.

2 comments:

Warren said...

Setting here...

Just put the turkey in the oven. My nose is running like a faucet and NyQuil seems to be the only thing that stops this wracking cough.

I just took some, that means I will be zonked out in about a half hour. Hope the alarm clock wakes me up enough to check the turkey at 3:30 AM.

It never fails, I get a couple of days in a row off and I end up sick. I'll probably feel better by the weekend. As a matter of fact, that firewater in the NyQuil is starting to kick in and I feel pretty good right now.

Have a great Thanksgiving my friend!

Mr. Beamish the Instablepundit said...

You have to be picky about your road kill. One time I ran over a possum and got it home and skinned it, gutted it, battered and spiced it, and I'll be damned if the little bastard didn't jump up and bite me when I put it in the deep fryer.

They play dead you know.