Saturday, February 07, 2009

Valentine's day the bane of every clueless guy

There is a day most of us guys dread it is the most uncomfortable pressure filled event of the year. The truth is that chances are you will disappoint that special person. For women who are unattached it is a reminder of their loneliness.

Option One

Flowers. Flowers normally cost an arm and a leg. I have seen $130 dollars for a dozen roses. Sunbeam is way too practical and told me no way. For that amount of money we could buy groceries for a week. I have bought one rose at a time, but we need a better
vase.

Flowers also die and leave you nothing.

Option two chocolates

This often results in hey dude are you trying to make me fat.

Actually, I did buy Sunbeam a Hersey Kisses set that comes in a wonderful tin that doubles as a candy dish. I thought she would enjoy the decorative tin more than the chocolates. I was surprised that Godiva apparently is kosher and bought a very small amount for her.

Option three Lingerie

Not a good idea at all. If you get the wrong size you may get beaned. If the outfit is too ahem slutty you get beaned. You might get beaned for sending the wrong message that all I you think about is sex.

Ladies you can actually learn a lot by walking with your guy into the lingerie section of a department store.

Option four Jewelry

This is a personal item and I am somewhat leery. I did pick out a very nice item that Sunbeam likes. A locket is usually safer than other items.

Option five

Fancy Resturant

Are usually very crowded on Valentine's day and most gouge the customers.

Perfume

Probably safe if you know what she likes but don't be cheap.

Lastly the part I personally dread picking out the card. You must send the right message at all times.

Good Luck

I would love there to be a regular heterosexual man day. It would be much easier than Valentines day on women. It would probably involve domestic beer, chips, something fried and football. That sounds like a good Superbowl party.

3 comments:

The Pagan Temple said...

Beak you're over-thinking things. A Valentines gift should be a reflection of your feelings for your ladylove at the time in question, not an exercise in neurotic anxiety. Cook her a nice meal, and make sure you top it off with a good homemade dessert, such as pie or candy, and then buy her a small token of your esteem, like a ring or earrings or something. It doesn't have to be something extravagant. Buy her a card and a couple of roses. You can say the rose symbolizes your love for her, or something like that.

FJ said...

I'm a card & candy guy. You can't go wrong pretending it's still 3rd grade.

Always On Watch said...

Beak,
After a relationship has been long term, the pressure is off!