Bloomberg Okays second Spouse

In a novel development Mayor Bloomberg has stated you can have a second spouse as long as they are not over 20 ounces.

Join the Cult of Obama

Communists of the world drop your manifestos and listen to the real savior Barry O. Throw down your tired and dated manifestos written by a racist Jew hating dead white fool who couldn't earn a nickel.
Replace Marx with Dreams of My Father I barely met.

 Demand that all episodes of Scooby Doo be redrawn. The Mystery Van gets redrawn as the Choom Mobile. Barry O replaces Shaggy, Biden replaces Scooby Doo, Emmanuel replaces Fred, Hilary replaces Velma and Susan Rice replaces Daphne. Yes young kids can watch Barry O solve crimes while stoned.

We need to remake the Beverly Hills 90210 with the story of Barry O in a prep school in Hawaii. You can mix in elements of Saved by the Bell with Joe Biden playing Screech with a brain injury.

We need to recast Happy Days with Barry O as Fonzie. We need to redo Mork and Mindy with Barry O as Mork. We need to reshoot Batman with Barry O as Batman and Joe Biden as Robin. Ann Coulter will get to play Catwoman. Chris Cristie plays the Penguin. Rush Limbaugh plays the Joker. Newt Gingrich plays the Riddler.

Why bother venerating dead failures when you can watch Barry O abuse the Constitution with a variety
of executive orders, dismantle our military and blame everyone on the planet for his own failures.

Who needs Marx when you can have Barry O.  Who needs reality logic, economics, the constitution, sound management or leadership when we have Barry O.

Toss down your manifesto and hail the chosen one Barry O today.

My Solution to the SWP Problem

Across the pond there is a severe problem among the ignorant followers of the planets greatest imbecile Lev Bronstein aka Trotsky. The SWP is in open revolt because a politically connected nerd was sexually abusing his lower ranking morons. Rather then report rape to the police like a normal human the reject sends a complaint to a select crew of cronies that rationalize the abuse.

Trotskyite imbeciles of the world reject your allegiance to the catcher of the icepick and join the Cult of Obama, We have a catchy acronym COWARD. Cult of Obama Worshipers And Retarded Dupes.

Why worship a failed communist who accomplished nothing when you can worship the all knowing and omnipotent savior who knows all.

He was born by immaculate conception in Hawaii. Nobody knew his parents were a couple. No marriage certificate has ever been found. No photos or witnesses to the marriage occurred.  Amazingly,  the government was notified of this immaculate union and placed notes in the saviors fathers A File.

He was raised in more prep schools then Al Gore and smoked more weed then Cheech and Chong Combined. He drove around in a van thinking he was Shaggy from Scooby Doo but the only crimes they ever solved were those of fashions and really bad hairstyles.

Obama learned the true religion from many Communists and airheads starting with his mentor Frank Marshall Davis.

Obama performed many miracles in his college days, He did poorly in Occidental but somehow managed to get accepted to Columbia. He then gets accepted into Harvard law. All of the saviors records are sealed as we are not worthy to see his grades. He gets hired into a University and teaches a political course for 12 years without publishing a single peer reviewed article and maintains his job. He sat in a racist anti semitic church for two decades but managed to not hear anything.

Obama has managed to get over 90% of the Black vote while conditions in the Black community are worse then ever. He managed to get elected despite doing everything in his power to keep unemployment high and exacerbate the global recession.

Who needs Trotsky the mendicant when you can worship Obama instead.   

Frum Zombie Retards

Once again the Frummies have invaded and really don't grasp that I hate them. I merely was annoyed at them up until this summer when they invaded and placed me through hell for 16 weeks. Of course none of this happens if asshole relative doesn't procrastinate and cost her kid a summer job. Of course the moron does and her son needs to attend a special yeshiva only found here. The entire family of religious mendicants stays for 16 weeks while I roast in hell.

Did I say I hate these people.

You can't enjoy a normal meal because they bring their religious idiocy with them. Of course the Sabbath ends and they stay until the last possible second and do not leave until 3am on Monday. Their kid is said to suffer from Epstein Barr but I swear it is from messed up religious parents who keep the kid up until all hours of the night.

I have grown so disgusted with these relatives that I purchased a cemetery plot in Guyana to escape these morons.

The subject of religious people showing absolutely no consideration for others never gets discussed. They think they have a divine right to piss people off. Don't they have other relatives to annoy.

just floored

I am  just perplexed how and why groups as varied as the Boy Scouts, Yeshiva University and now the loathsome SWP have failed basics in handling sexual abuse cases. Part of me is just floored at how much abuse is out there and has probably been there for years.

Of course we have the antisemitic Duck with his snide remarks about Hasidic Jews. However, now we have a case of a Communist group messing up almost as badly if not worse then the Satmar. The Satmar do not claim to be revolutionary agents of change and thus their fall from grace is much further. Previously we have had the antisemitic freaks at OWS failing miserably at this.

First Lesson Rape is a criminal matter that should never be investigated internally. Rape investigations should only be handled by trained professionals who understand how to prepare a case for prosecution, question all relevant parties and prepare a case for a judge. The penalty for rape should be jail time not expulsion from some wacky cult of Communist fools. Actually there are some who would pay to be banished as a badge of honor. The SWP could even market certificates of banishment if they fall short of cash. For $100.00 you can be expelled with a formal decree and for an extra $100.00 we will throw in an expelled mug and T-shirt.

Second Lesson: Investigation into abuse needs to be conducted externally by trained professionals working with law enforcement most of the time. Reading the Dimwitted SWP star chamber admission that all of us knew the accused and describing the complainant as that woman are naked admissions of bias.

Twice in my lifetime I have run across people who later turned out to be child molesters. I remember feeling sick to my stomach that people I knew could do this. The warning signs were there but I missed them. If a person makes multiple jokes about under aged girls stay alert. In the second case the person was a sexual animal that appeared to sleep with everything, but his wife. Even the other day when I discussed this with coworkers they were shocked. Real monsters don't have signs on their heads that they are sex fiends. One loses perspective by working closely with someone and you delude yourself that someone you knew couldn't possibly do this.

Third Lesson: In sexual harassment cases the proceedings must be transparent. The whole matter is best investigated promptly. While there are some people who make up fake charges these cases are minor. If multiple charges against the same applicant are made then chances are overwhelming that this person is a problem.

Well this bites

I don't know what messed up programs the phones used but the facial recognition technology matched my facial features to Grace Kelly and the Cary Grant. I think the app is measuring symmetry and where
the features are other them mass.

Not on this crash

I have spent time with folks I haven't seen in 25 years. The family next door moved in on the very same day. It was tough to see a person I have known all my life pass away. I grew up with her children.

I was amazed to see a peer from next door. I am almost mortified by my hairdo at 13. I must be unusual in that I think very little about my childhood. I am not the type to reach out on Facebook and reconnect  My friend had a visitor who was in the kindergarten class with us. I was there but do not remember many of my classmates. I do remember my sweetheart from that class and she lives up the road.

I am amazed how when I look back my thoughts are more or less directed at the Hotel that is long gone or days in the Catskills.

Time is funny because although I have lost some hair and added a few pounds the there is next to no gray. My great grandfather died at 90 with almost no gray hairs and my grandmother dies at a similar age with none..

Maybe I am unusual in that I don't really think of the past. There are times folks track me down and I am mostly embarrassed at the lack of thought. Perhaps other then my time as a fashion executive I spent my days like Ringo Star surrounded by more interesting people

I was not on the Ferry that crashed. I got calls from Guyana and many other places.

The folks that are next door and are aware of my family history had a few laughs at my expense. Apparently, they are perplexed at how I became Guyanese. Usually when I describe the family overseas I describe the family in Guyana. Folks at work have laughs about that one. Unfortunately, when we have diversity fests I get listed as Belorussian, Ukrainian, Polish, Austrian, Hungarian, Turkish, Israeli, Russian but I state Guyanese. I apparently do not look Guyanese, but these people have never met a Guyanese person. Actually, when I was in country and someone asked, I joked that I got one head two arms two legs and pointed towards a man with one arm. Obviously he is not Guyanese.

Walmart unusually stupid

We usually have the highest respect for Walmart and I do own stock in the company. I was quite surprised to find a costume for Grand Rabbi being sold on its site. This is stupid and offensive and above all else a valuable waste of space that could be used to sell products that kids want.

Last I checked Walmart doesn't sell creepy Communist outfits. It would be great to dress kids up as Lenin, Stalin, Mao, Fidel or Che and entirely appropriate for Halloween.

Walmart could have made even more money by selling a Michael Moore larda$$ suit to the kiddies. Zombies are currently in and a Bill Ayers and Dorn set of costumes would be great sellers. Ayers swears he has never been a zombie but John McCain described him as a "washed up terrorist".

The Final Chapter

A woman who has resided next door has passed away. It is tough to say goodbye to a person you have known your entire life. She kept her illness quiet but it was known in the area. Why she worked almost until the end is unknown.

Then again how we write that last chapter is up to us.

For the second time Rav Roov will have to deliver a eulogy for someone he has known for decades. Most think it is best to have a clergyman who knew the deceased perform this function. The sermon is more personal and moving. In those cases it was the request of the deceased themselves who knew the final chapter was near.

Quit Bashing RG3

RG3 tried and posses a giant heart. He wanted to win and give his all when his body could not. If he didn't posses the spirit or drive to overcome he would be a lesser person.

RG3  and America are lucky the injuries were not worse. He does posses the requisite skill to make it as a pocket passer. Lets hope that we see that down the road and continue to enjoy the charming athlete with the heart of a champion.

Never fault a man for trying his best.

Wagon Train

I was watching Wagon Train on You Tube. Fans of John Wayne movies will recognize Ward Bond. I watched a hysterical episode where Wally Cox turns everything upside down. Indians hold children and Wally Cox wants to solve things peaceably. He does in a hysterical bit of comedy using science and music.

Wagon Train also has what is likely the last appearance of beloved comedian Lou Costello in an nontraditional role. Here he plays the charming drunken father figure to a runaway girl. You also see clearly that if cast in the right role he could act.  

The Rape of the American Taxpayer

The greatest failure of Romney was his inability to explain that those of us who remain employed are going to be burdened with higher taxes for his idiocy. Obamacare has helped perpetuate unemployment and has exacerbated the rise of part time workers.

Obama continues to do nothing about the costs of higher ed and even go near featherbedding. The latest batch of students may not see work in their majors but have mountains of debt. Of course it is easier to blame the banker then to blame over paid lazy faculty like our own Ducky.

The jobs won't be there. There will be more people legalized to apply for the few jobs that remain and wages will be in the toilet.

A story about love and acceptance and a special girl

There are some imbeciles who portray Judaism as a racial supremacy type of religion. My mother and father are traditional liberals who supported Civil Rights, but were anti communist.

My daughter is different from us in many ways. She is much darker then even my brother who is much darker then myself. She is sweet in nature and more into crafts then books. My brother and I would read books that way ahead of schedule. We come from a very proud tradition of intellectual debate and love of arts and letters. My daughter does not come from those traditions but has learned to appreciate a classic musical and is perplexed by my loathing of Streisand.

As my parents age and they work less the phone calls and visits from my daughter mean very much to them. My mother seldom gets angry at me and she let me have it when I told my daughter not to bother her with crafts. My mother was going in for a serious procedure and at such a time making Jello with a sincere nine year old seemed silly. My mother saw her right away and spent time in the Kitchen making Jello before a major medical procedure.

When my daughter encounters people from the community they are very loving towards a sweet kid who is different. Maybe, she lacks the reading ability of members of my family and she also lacks my mischievous
sense of humor, but she is good natured. If anything members of the community have reminded me about patience and that the abilities displayed by members of my family are exceptional and not the rule.

My daughter may not be book smart but she has learned to observe things in an almost officer like way. At a
community event she noticed that members of the local community are very respectful. I might be in the Kitchen creating some monstrosity, but I take the time to listen to a neighbor confused about law. I sometimes even let them share the meal and am modest about it. My poor kid can even repeat the part where I explain about law being a confusing process and its no trouble. She does prefer to let me talk in businesses but is not shy among my friends and family.

One of my first bosses lives by Coney Island. He is in his seventies and has no family. My daughter was like a ray of sunshine to this friend. It seems absurd but he enjoyed playing Ski ball with two grouchy old timers and she made a sand castle or two to the amazement of this friend. It meant very much to him and my daughter got to hear stories of long forgotten entertainers and how physically strong I was. He is like an extra grandparent.

It comes as a great shock that some people are making odd claims about being pressured to marry Jewish due to the Holocaust.  Even the family of Rav Roov is very respectful of my daughter. I avoid contact with them because at times they appear socially backwards. I am pained often being frum translates into selfishness, cluelessness, cultural ineptitude and lack of graces.

The moral of the story is that members of my family and community accept and welcome my daughter despite her differences in appearance and abilities. We accept and love her as a sweet kid. Maybe the only thing she ever learned from me was be yourself and don't apologize for it. It also helps if you are naturally good natured.

I remember a previous relationship where my lack of religious conviction was twisted into my being amoral
and unfit to be around kids. The criticism hurt at the time and I took it to  heart. I remember AOW saying the
whole thing was silly. Yes, I do spend time with the daughter and am very loved by the step grandkids even if they raid my stash of food. I remember a rant about NY Deli pickles and letting one of them steal a few packs of Sweedish fish. How the kid even figured out what was in the wrapper was priceless. She pronounces fishes almost like the word feces.

The kids listen as I tell them stories about the strange people that live in the land of snow and beer.It is an amazing place where neighbors help each other and the very poor live off the land. I remember joking about female neighbors skill with chainsaws and firearms during Sandy. That being said I never saw a pink chainsaw but I saw all types of women from smoking hot babes to ordinary grannies use them.

I talk very much about being an officer that sometimes reading this blog I am also a family man. I remember the top boss being very charming and patient with my daughter at an event. Officer Beakerkin, I didn't know you had such a wonderful daughter who loves you very much. I guess those that see me slaying dragons and serving the public imagine me differently. While being an officer is part of my existence being a father and grandfather is even more important.

Maybe you know you are old and certified when your dreams go from sexual conquests to reliving a day at the amusement park with the kids. Maybe you are old when your most cherished possession is a hand made fathers day card instead of a stock certificate.

Never, planned on being a father or thought I would embrace the role. I remember my parents, AOW and close family friends telling me you will do fine just be yourself. Just being yourself is how I live my life and parenting style. Like any other parent I have my moments like the time my daughter stole a spinach roll from me at Ben's Best Deli on 38th. I remember the waitress cutting me off and saying having a daughter want spinach is a good thing. She also ordered another one on the double. Maybe someday I will take some of the older grandkids to Bens Best.

New photos in the office

I have decided to place a photo of Wally Cox in my office. As a young child watching the Hollywood Squares he was a funny man who sounded like Underdog. Over the years I have grown to appreciate his subtle brand of humor. He was typecast and it is fun watching him turn up in strange places like Lost In Space, Bonanza and Mission Impossible.

I found two episodes of Hiram Holliday on the Web. Unfortunately, they only made 23 episodes of that show. Maybe someone will get all of his work together in a DVD collection including Mr. Peepers.

On the town

I have a nasty cold so my trip into my past was short. I visited a place I worked twenty years ago and said hello to old friends. It is odd that I moved on from that world of Fashion into a vastly different field. Having an education prevented me from being typecast.

I went to Ben's best for my New Years Day Lunch. One half a sandwich brisket, matzoh ball soup and farfel
wich is called egg barley. I make a variant of this at home with chicken soup. I prefer Bens Best but my daughter likes Daddy creating a meal.

I went to the comic book store and then to the hardware store. I passed my college and saw the faces looked the same but I am much older.

I took the ferry dismayed at all the stores and places I remember that were a part of my life that are gone.
There were the bookstores, hot dog vendor, barber and many others who just packed it up in Obama's economy.

Another year that I hope will be better, but with Obama running the show not likely.

The Odd Couple A Beakerkin Tribute

The mighty Beakerkin Art Players Present

The Odd Couple   apologies to Neil Simon


Intro: On October 15 Felix Ducky was asked to leave. That request came from his wife. Deep down he knew she was right because everyone hates Commies. But someday he hoped to get back to her. With nowhere else to go he appeared at the home of his childhood friend Oscar Beakerkin.  Can two divorced men share an apartment without driving each other crazy.

Ducky: Look at this place its post modern landfill.
Beakerkin: See that is your problem always with the big mouth.
Ducky: I love my wife and miss my kids. It was a Zionist Conspiracy that we got divorced.
Beakerkin: You embarrassed the crap out of them by telling their Teacher Exodus is Zionist Propaganda.
Ducky: But Uris is the worst type of propagandist. He created a myth....
Beakerkin: Unfortunately  Comwad they were doing a school play about Moses.
Ducky: That is the biggest Zionist of them all. Separation of Church and state.
Beakerkin: The story that appealed to men in bondage everywhere. When your friend Paul Robeson the Fink was singing Let My People Go what was he singing about.
Ducky: So you are going to take the word of a Stalinist.
Beakerkin: How do you like that Y & R is offering me $50,000 to appear in an ad campaign.
Ducky: That is great and you can tell them that your official photographer is Felix Ducky. I could use the money. The connections to a huge ad agency can do wonders for my business.
Beakerkin: Not so fast comwad. The ad is for Hebrew National Salami
Ducky: Zionist artery clogging sewage....

Part II  to be contined

RIP Jack Klugman

I want to thank Jack Klugman for hours of entertaining us as Quincy and Oscar Madison. The original Odd Couple was the first TV show I loved as a kid in first run. There were other good shows like All in the Family, Sanford and Son, MASH and Happy Days but the first one that I loved as a kid was the Odd Couple. Off  screen Klugman and Tony Randall were best friends and would remain best friends for the remainder of his days. They are both gone but TV fans will always have them in reruns. I think Al Molinaro
and Penny Marshall are the only people associated with that show that are still with us.

Klugman was more of a straight actor and he found fame in Quincy. He played everyone's favorite Coroner
and Ducky from NCIS is a distant second. Quincy fought the system he cared and yes there was liberalism in the scripts but it was well written and entertaining. Quincy was what a good detective show should be about good writers, great actors and character development.

I hope that when you reach heaven that Tony Randal is there saying Oscar, Oscar, Oscar what took you so long.

Guns and the Beakerkin

I do not own a gun or plan to in the future I want to spend this Christmas Eve venturing into my past to a simpler time in the 70's. Elvis had a recent hit Suspicious Minds, Paul Harvey was on the radio and Casey Kasem was a newbie.

My family was in the Catskills and it was a magical place. I played with cousins in the woods. We picked pots of blueberries. I fished in the lake and caught a sunfish. my first fish. I learned to hit a baseball about the same time. We made go carts like the kids in the Little Rascals.

My grandfather was visiting and he was a favorite of the kids. He was a strong man who was gentle and rarely angry. He would say his wife's name and any argument stopped. He was a former cavalryman who fought in the 1920 war for Poland. He hated war and oddly horses and had more respect for the loving dog.

Rusty was mostly Sheppard and he was the best dog a kid ever could play with. We didn't realize it but the loving dog was herding us as we walked. He never needed a leash and would follow us through the woods.
He was a decent sized dog who just loved kids as opposed to the smaller dogs that didn't.  Rusty would protect us if a stray or a drug impaired hippie wandered by. His gentle demeanor would change and the hippies would stay far and he would transform back to Rusty.

My grandfather taught a young kid to shoot. It was a supervised activity and the message was very clear even for a young child. The gun is a serious tool only to be used to protect the family and your country. It was never to be picked up when angry or drunk. Practice was like craftsmanship and only paper targets, cans and bottles were acceptable targets. Even hunting for food was discouraged because a tasty chicken was cheap and easy. He would admire the grace of a passing deer and send a warning shot at a pack of stray dogs that were close. He would always send the shot just short.

Today this is what sickos like Michael Moore call gun culture. Shooters and crime don't have anything to do
with families teaching their kids to use a gun. It was part of growing up not too much different from learning
to swing and ax or use a circular saw.

I wish I could return to that era if only for an hour. People sat outside and played scrabble and made campfires. The food was fresh and handmade and the music was beautiful. Willie Mays was at the end and Booby Murcer was my hero. The tube radios pulled in baseball games as far away as Cleveland on some nights. There were a few radio shows still around and Cropsey stories. Grossingers was up the road and the Concord was going strong.

Blaming guns for media manufactured messes

The media has been in an Obaama inspired mania about gun control. You see the familiar pictures of Obama racing to the scene of another gun crime using the dead to push a message. Of course we see the familiar talk about gun control.
'
In the current era school shooters grasp that the media will turn the shooters into celebrities. The reason these shootings appear to rise is due to the 24/7 news culture. What America should be screaming back at the MSM is look at your own practices.

When The Musics Over Turn Out the Lights

Sometimes I am amazed at the way people face their final moments.A lifelong friend is in the final act and she is working until the end of next week. She has about a month or two more before the final curtain. I guess I would use my time differently like going back to the jungle one last time.

I guess all of us face the final curtain differently.