I don't use that word. I don't think in those types of term. It is also a low class type of speech and I cringe when younger Blacks use it. The word does not become more socially acceptable with an a at the end.
We have a hysterical double standard with that word. If you say the N word you can lose your job. In reality
my issue is that Blacks do not get anywhere near the abuse that gays get. In fact many of the worst offenders
of gay slur words are Black. A classic was a supervisor who swore that certain women posses a super power called gaydar. As far as super powers the ability to detect who is or is not gay is pretty lame. It is less useful then the ability to make a decent cup of coffee. Gay people face more discrimination then Blacks in the modern office. It is time we treat the issue of discrimination against gays as seriously as the use of the N word.