The Duck has zero problem using the generic welfare Queen bit on Jews in Kiryas Joel but if you extend this to housing projects you are a racist.
The problem of religious slackers is deeply personal. My family is not Chasidic but Modern Orthodox. The troubles do indeed have a mental health component that mimics many inner city problems minus the broken families, drug use and promiscuity.
The inability to plan long term is a key annoyance. My family thinks it is no great deal to make plans at the last second. They drop in at the last second and stay for weeks annoying the rest of the world. You can't ever get an answer from them when you need to plan. The reality is they don't give a shit about your time and respect others.
Chronic tardiness and disrespect for the clock save the Sabbath. I am at wits end with the lack of punctuality. I get BS we make the worship on time but goof off the rest of the time. I live in a time conscious world. I rise head to work racing the clock meeting impossible deadlines each and every day. I am floored how this relative has allowed his wife to ignore the clock save the sabbath. They talk and make no plans and the kids have zero structure. My relative complains he works three jobs. My response is ass wipe you have allegedly worked three jobs because your wife refuses to work one. Her lack of punctuality is really a tool for controlling others. The religious bit ensures that most of us bite our tongues.
Being on the phone all day. The idiotic relative uses her cell phone so much a surgeon would need to remove it. It is not normal to call your kids multiple times at 2 AM. Then when the kid sleeps absurd hours its Epstein Barr and off to a series of doctors. Telling the moronic mother to have structure like the rest of us and get a job and a life is not happening.
Paranoia and viciousness. Despite feigned devotion they are nasty people who push your buttons. This relative honestly thinks he is the center of the universe and gets upset if he thinks you joke about him. If I died tomorrow my desk would be filled the next day. Maybe a few people I came into contact with would remember an anecdote or two and that is it. It is the nature of the world rivers cut mountains over time. This is why I could care less what other people think and worry about doing the right thing for its own sake. This relative is quite vicious and lives in a fantasy world where I even discussed my life with him. In reality, I would never do so because he is useless and mean spiritted. He will say the most hateful things about your personal life and want you to feel sorry for his lot.
A long time ago I faced a similar challenge. The woman I loved was a slacker. I probably would have gone to law school but I chose marriage. I worked a series of jobs for family and broke my tail. My wife stayed at home did nothing while I worked like a dog often 15 hours a day. I did not come home to a meal and got lectures about going out. She played games with going back to relatives and ultimately I had to change the locks. I lost the woman I loved with all my heart, but I was not going to be made into a donkey. I made this tough choice and despite the pain it was the correct choice. Had I made the error of having children I would never be free. Some people wonder what became of so and so. I really am not like that and prefer not to know about lost loves and old friends. Her picture does sit tucked in the corner, but I never regretted that choice. This relative made a different choice and fears being alone.
People who know me seldom see me curse. This spouse and her annoying ways have gotten under my skin. I actually told this religious nut we are like Jacob and Esau. I want nothing to do with you and our relationship is over.
Were this a single mother in a housing project many racists would use the pejorative welfare queen. This family is not on welfare and teeters near debt because of Yeshiva bills and sloth. Had this person been gainfully employed over the last 20 years life would not be so tough.
There is a place for psychotherapy but there will be no help here. This is not sloth in their eyes it is devotion to God. Having been on a cellphone all day and the Internet figures in ways beyond my