How to annoy relatives

The most certian way to annoy relatives is to stay with them indefinately and subject them to a series of annoying quirks. In real life I am very punctual and am on a scripted schedule. These relatives are chronological labotomies and are driving me up a wall by never being on time and moving around at idiotic hours like 2 A.M. If this is not bad enough I am stuck with religious dogma for another month. I respect other people's right to be religious but leave me out. If I wanted to be religious I would have done so. The best I can do is sit respectfully when I am way laid into a religious function.

This will be a month of non stop aggrivation. When people ask me about these relatives I cringe.

Another way to irritate people is to give career advice when you haven't worked in 20 years. The person has skills to get a range of jobs but does zero except piss me off. If I walk away and state I take the 5th this should tell you my patience is wearing thin. After a week with these rellatives I would gladly welcome a trip to somewhere preaceful like Damascus, Mogidishu or anyplace where I can just be hit by a bullet and not deal with this idiocy. Tardiness drives me up the wall. Moving around early in the morning when I sleep at home is dangerous. I wake up with adrenaline charged prepared to beat the intruder to a pulp and after being filled with adrenaline I can not sleep.

I can't stand slkackers and slackers that are know it alls drive me up the wall. This idiotic slacker does not even pick up subtle hints. "Advice is worth what they pay you for it. When is the last time anyone paid you for your opinion 20 years ago????? I would be happier if I didn't ever see you seriously I am not joking get lost call me in twenty years. Don't even come to my funeral because by the time you get there it will be over anyway.

Its going on five days and I am going ballistic.