The Return of the Frummies

The Planets most annoying relatives are back. It is a minor holiday and these lazy morons are back. Quite predictably they arrive at 2AM on Monday Morning. The goal is to annoy and piss off those of us who work real jobs. They could arrive at a normal hour, but when you are frum you have God to rationalize your boorishness. Of course when the obnoxious daughter can't wake up it is Epstein Barr, not asshole parents.

They asked why I did not get another car. As they have made off with my car due to their being broke, I refuse to get another so they can't repeat this again. I am also stuck paying 1000 dollars insurance on a car I no longer have because this moron did not follow instructions and procrastinated. This is of course after the unemployable dimwit of a wife screwed up easy instructions. She then wonders why I hate her. She has not worked in two decades.

I also have to hear about how hard and mean this agency is. I am at my desk at 5AM trying to complete impossible assignments. This relative does not even get up until 10 and then I have to hear how hard he has it.

I will not come directly home. I will spend every last second at the Greek Diner where I can get peace. The useless son still has not returned to school in Israel for year three of studying Torah. They live in a fantasy world where he is actuary material. This moron can barely read English and was born here. He will end up teaching in a Yeshiva and marry a stupid wife and be a blight on society. The daughter will get a fancy college education and never work a day and be a similar loafer knocking out lazy stupid kids in this sick lifestyle. I have already told them when my parents are gone they will be over and out.

Religion is just a way to get out of real work and to be stupid. I would rather have criminal relatives who at least wouldn't be so useless and stupid. It is this sense of entitlement and lack of consideration of others that 

annoys me to no end. Have no car, take a relatives. Fail to follow simple instructions that a chimp could follow and cost the relative $1000. 

I really wish I took the gig in Iraq. 

Why they even insisted on visiting for my birthday this year is unknown. My wish was for them to emigrate and never be seen again.

The local folks at the Jewish charities called. I told them I no longer will pay a nickel until they stop supporting these clowns.  I would sooner donate money to charities in the Guyanese Community. I will be looking for a burial plot in Guyana so I can be away from these religious freaks forever.

There is nothing Jewish about this frum lifestyle. My relatives worked back breaking jobs and never had a hand out. They worked hard in school and on the job. Religious studies came after everything else was finished. This view that European ghetto culture is toxic. The music is dreadful and is actually a cross between Eastern European and Gypsy music that is painful to the ear. At least, I should be thankful the moron crew has not reverted to Yiddish.

I still consider myself Jewish only I refuse to be involved in any more rituals. In fact I will no longer waste any more time or money at a house of worship again. I would sooner go to the Greek Diner get a meal and relax there. They can tell when these relatives are here by my body language and order. When I walk in tonight,  the waiter will say frummies again. The bus driver and clerks at work can even tell when these morons visit.

Obviously, these visits are quite upsetting but when every action is God ordained what is upsetting a secular relative.