Sunday, December 03, 2006

A Christmas Blunder

MAD ZIONIST JEWISH CONSPIRACY PRODUCTIONS

present

A Christmas Blunder

Starring Ducky, Mr Beamish, Beakerambo, Ruth Bader Ginsberg and many others


In the near future the forces of Marxist poultry have decided to sue Santa Claus and shut down production of toys for Children. They have decided to substitute Festivus as a non Commercial Winter Holiday alternative.

We join the diabolical plan in action.

Ducky: This time my plan of subverting America can not fail. Judge Judy is hard to fool by with Ruth Bader Ginsburg on the case I can't lose. Christmas, Hanukah and Kwanzah will be ruined for all so we can impose Festivus on the ignorant masses.

The Duck did win his case with the vile help of Ruth Bader Ginsberg. The fat man was shut down. The Elves were unemployed and Keebler did not have any openings. Worst of all there were piles of Mr Beamish and Beakerambo merchandise sitting in warehouses
waiting to be delivered to children.

MZ: Well it seems that Santa is down for the count. The ACLU finally got the big guy
and stuck us with this crappy excuse for a holiday that is worse than Kwanza.

Jason Pappas: Not to fear the Liberterian Wizard is here to drive madness and despair
into the hearts of commies everywhere. If Al Gore can accept campaign contributions from Bhudist monks in the guise of free speech than we can make Satire Claus.

Freedomnow: Yes a satire of the Old Santa Regime. We will call it Beamish Claws but he rides a huge Harley with a sidecar carrying his assistant who tosses super violent politically incorrect toys on doorsteps.

Thanks to the help of an army of super brilliant H1B Chinese computer geeks who hate Marxist vermin the factory was in running in 48 hours. The Indian H1B engineers automated the production and the elves were rehired in Customer service and human resources position. MZ productions even found a job for the big guy in Community Relations.

The diabolical plan went into effect and Beamish Claws and his sidekick delivered super violent politically incorect toys to the greatful children of America.

Billy: Look what I got it is a great new video game Grand Theft MA. Kick John Kerry, Ted Kennedy, Barney Frank and Noam Chomsky's behind on the X-Box.

Fred: I got a cool Commie detector. It even comes with a book of liberterian responses to Commie stupidity.

Mary: I got a talking Ann Coulter doll.
Doll: " The only military man the Marxists like is the sailor from the Village People".

Fred: That is so cool and unlike Barbie she has a real job and kicks a$$$$.

Mary: What did Herb get.

Herb: Not much it is the Mr Beamish mayhem Chemistry set. Build your own expplosives, brew your own beer and annoy your folks kit.

Maria: I got the best gift of all The Metalica Christmas Ablum and a politically incorrect talking Bible Robot.

There were even gifts from Beamish Claws to adults.

Ducky: What is this crap on my door The Fountainhead in Calligraphy Nooooooooooooo
Uptown Steve: What is this crap who put the Fish sticks and bagels on my door step.
Damn those Bagels smell good I better get them inside before the brothers see me with them later.
John Brown: What is this a do it yourself labotomy kit? I went to Cuba for mine stupid $^%&%&^%& Capatalists.

Throughout the land Americans were spared the bland Marxist attempts at imposing Festivus o the masses. There were even new Beamish versions of holiday favorites.
Families everywhere were together singing Deck the Commies with loads of Amo and
Stealh Bomber night.

America had a great holiday despite the diabolical plots of Marxist Poultry and ACLU thugs.

17 comments:

(((Thought Criminal))) said...

The Beamish Heavy Metal Karaoke Mind Control Laser was delayed and will be on shelves Christmas next year.

American Crusader said...

beak..you have a real talent for satire.
I'm serious.
Have you heard the latest charge about the war on Christmas?
It's all made up. A complete fabrication by right-wing extremist.
The proof?
There aren't any soldiers.

elmers brother said...

I'm so glad the elves found work...have you ever seen a pissed off elf?

beakerkin said...

AC

What is this Festivus garbage? Lets have Christmas and Hanukah as is. The last people who should set social policy are acolytes of class genocide.

Mr B I like the idea of politically incorrect super violent toys. We will have to see how John Brown got a do it yourself labotomy kit. Maybe a do it yourself cavity search kit would have been better.

nanc said...

O.T. - it's elbro's birthday!

tazzmax said...

Hey Beak, that was great,...LMAO!

How about an anal duck call for the "Quack"?....Or a thimble sized "head coffin" for Brown-ass?

beakerkin said...

Brown has never used his own head so head coffin for his own head would be great.

The Duck is very upset by his gift as he is impressed by Calligraphy and loathes Rand. Calligraphy is an amusing pastime but we will stick with Renoir.

Anonymous said...

I'm dreaming of a Dumb Democrat,

Like the ones we use to know,

When Kennedy was drinking,

And Nancy was partying with NAMBLA,

To remind us of Democrats long ago,

I'm dreaming of a Dumb Democrat,

Each time i shoot at Kerry,

When Moore ate all the Donuts,

And Clinton blew on fat white Chicks,

To remind us of Democrats long ago,

I'm dreaming of a dumb Democrat....

nanc said...

farmer? what flavor?

nanc said...

elbro - i've seen a pist off dwarf and that was enough for me!

elmers brother said...

they can turn into monsters especially when they are outta work

Always On Watch said...

Beak,
Good one!

Rob,
I just had to sing that one. Hehehe.

Mad Zionist said...

Beak, isn't it remarkable that I have the time to produce movies while I have two kids under two, a wife and a job? I'm impressed with myself.

beakerkin said...

MZ

Someone needs to count the cash.

The Merry Widow said...

FJ- I have accidentally(or blogspot had the hiccups)but there is a totally no post comment section at my blog. Want to go play?

tmw

elmers brother said...

minimalist effluent is a good term

elmers brother said...

it's already happening kuhnkat, it's called the fertility gap and by the 2012 election the conservatives will outbirth the libs